New Baby and Fibro. help

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by zoya19, Dec 20, 2005.

  1. zoya19

    zoya19 Guest

    Hello,

    I just recently had a baby (he will be 6 weeks tomorrow). I felt quite good throughout the pregnancy and now my fibro. is getting bad again.

    Just wondering how other new mothers coped especially with breastfeeding? I am finding the pain in my back, arms and shoulders really bad and the breastfeeding isn't helping I am sure. I don't want to give this up though.

    Also, how did you cope getting things done. I find I am more exhausted then ever.

    Thanks for any info. or advice,
    Kathy
  2. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    It is exhausting. I don't really have any advice, I started giving the bottle to make it easier on myself, since I was so sick I could barely sit up. It is up to you to continue breast feeding, but it is time consuming and tiering. The first 2-4 weeks gives the most important immune boosters in the breastmilk, you have accomplished that part. Starting the bottle would not hurt any now. It will give a chance for you to have someone else feed the baby. You are in for the long haul with this baby and feeding. I am not trying to push, but keeping exhaustion at bay is very important right now. You really don't want to flare when having a little one. Just my opinion. I hope everything is going well! Maybe you can post a pic of your little blessing some time in the future! Many hugs and good luck to you!
  3. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    That`s the reason I didn`t breastfeed long. I was feeling really tough and needed to get back on some of my meds. I couldn`t sleep either. I was sleeping 2-3 hours a night. I had no help my husband is a farmer so was always working. Once I got back on my meds things got more tolerable.

    I had two since having Fm and it was harder with the first one. I don`t think you will stay so bad, things will settle down again. There is so much stress right now for you, the Fm is bound to be bad.

    Try to get some help. I didn`t and I wish I had now. I didn`t need to go through all that myself. Do you have any family or friends that could come over a couple hours a day, or a couple days a week? If not consider hiring somebody. Even a responsible high school kid could help you with the baby and housework. You could get some extra rest then.

    I know how difficult it is but you`ll get through it. Rest when the baby sleeps. Just get the necessities done, the housework will always be there. Now is the time for you to enjoy your baby and take care of yourself.
  4. Mar19

    Mar19 New Member

    I had two sets of twins, now aged 26 and 28. I wasn't dx'd back then b/c the dx didn't exist, but I'm sure I had FM long before I was pregnant.

    From experience I can tell you that breastfeeding is *infinitely* easier than bottle feeding. With my first set of twins I let my family "bully" me out of nursing. I lasted for six weeks and caved. I always regretted it. Making up the bottles was so time and labor consuming -- not to mention expensive.

    The second go round I stuck to my guns and nursed those little babies and they thrived like crazy. I actually didn't wean them until they were well over 18 months old. It was more their choice than mine -- little buggers developed a taste for apple juice, and I didn't dispense it!! LOL

    With nursing, whenever they were hungry all I had to do was just tuck them in bed beside be. I could even doze off back to sleep for a bit if I felt like it. We all did great.

    My youngest dd is a new mommy now, her little one is almost 3 months. She's nursing as well and doing great.

    After both deliveries I got really ill. High fevers, extreme fatigue, terrible depression, but I nursed right thru it -- DH would bring the babes to me when they were hungry. Once I got past the first few weeks things went a lot smoother.

    When I had my second set there were times that I *almost* thought about bottle feeding, but then I'd remember all the work, the expense, and the emotional upheaval of weaning my babies when they were so young -- those memories made me stick it out.

    You can do it. Just take it one hour at a time if you have to. Our bodies are marvelously fashioned not only to grow those darling little ones, but to feed them as well. You *can* do it!!

    Love and blessings
    Mar
  5. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    Breastfeeding or not (there is bound to be great controversy there, just do what feels right for YOU, nobody else!); if you got prenatal vitamins left- take them! I had 3-4 months worth of them and it helped me get my body back in shape faster (I still was FM'y, but I was bound to be).
  6. DLsGroovyMoM

    DLsGroovyMoM New Member

    I also was not dx with my FM yet but doc feels sure that the difficulty delivery is what sent me into my current 2 year flare...such fun...and to top things off my son had really bad GERD and colic. I breastfeed only for the first 8 weeks or so and it was very diffictult. Me being so worn out and him so icky feeling. I also had a very hard time with my supply. But I was determined it was very important to me, like many my family was all for giving him the bottle. When I did it was only b/c I just could not keep my supply up enough. I was given a very nice pump (hopsoptal grade, which can be rented if money is too tight...run about $200-300, I was so thankful to be given mine by a lady who had a very very young premie) I pumped and contiued to breastfeed until he was about 6-7months old and it was his doing not mine...we lived in a house with 2 stories and I soooo hated going downstares in the cold of the nite to fix bottles. The breastfeeding was so much easier, he slept with me so he usually would just latch on when ever he wanted. I was so upset when he weened himself...I agree that you have to do what is best for you and baby. If suppy is a problem you might ask your doc for some Reglan...or go to GNC or other herbal store I know they sell a milk booster. I did the reglan and it did help.

    Do you have a boppy pillow? Mine was a God send. I would sit in my rocking chair and put it around me and just lay him on top...sometimes when he was real bad we slept that way. Or use lots of pillows or rolled up blankets, don't try to hold him yourself...trust me as he gets heavier you'll not be able to.

    WATER WATER WATER...nuf said
    GOOD FOOD...nuf said

    TAKE ALL THE HELP YOU CAN ROUND UP!!! I just knew that things were gonna be so peachy and basicly bared most people from coming over or helping...I could have stayed at the hosptial a few more days but went home the next day...wrong move...I could have really used the help and rest.

    I don't know if any of this helped but hang in there and just holler if you need to talk...I know that I was SO happy and so lost and lonely...pain and post partum will do that to you.

    My son is now 2...happy healthy and the love of my life!!!
    You'll be just fine!
    Love and Hugs
    Amy
  7. LollieBoo

    LollieBoo New Member

    The first six weeks with a new baby (whether it's your first or your tenth!) are enough to drive a sane person crazy and exhaust the healthiest of people. So, way to go!! You made it! My DH is quite healthy and he was falling apart as much as I was with FM. It will only get netter from here.

    Your little bundle will become a pro soon enough at getting milk from your breasts with little intervention from you. I agree that it is WAY easier than bottles- especially if you are sensitive to smells! Formula stains and smells putrid.

    My youngest was way too busy to slow down long enough to nurse by the time she was eight months old. We switched to formula and eww. My oldest was too wiley to pin down by the time he was six months (BTW- purely breastfed, he outgrew 12 month clothes at FOUR months!), and the remaining six monthe of his first year were both expensive and distressing. He kept getting ear infections until I switched him over to a soy-based formula.

    My middle daughter nursed gleefully for 14 months. I never even bought formula until she was ten months old. AND I was pregnant with my youngest at the time (they're only 13 months apart!).

    I made it through nursing all three of my children in spite of flares by instituting a few rules. First of all, if I was feeding, DH would bring the baby to me and deliver the sated little one back to bed. On rough days and at night, I layed down to nurse. It became very comfortable for both me and the babies. Tummy-to-tummy, you can start by latching baby on to the 'upper' breast (laying on your side), which will apply some pressure to the 'bottom' one, preventing leaks. When baby is finished and burped, you simply recline a little more to offer the 'lower', or you can roll over and readjust baby to nurse the second breast.

    As mentioned before: eat well- lots of greens and whole grains will boost energy. Many herbal tonics are beneficial for nursing, but be sure to check with your doc, because many are contraindicated for nursing mothers. Try a whey-based protein drink and nettle and red raspbery leaf teas (not all three together!). Barley and oats, fennel and celery seed all promote healthy milk. If he is just nursing too long for you to remain comfortable, try eating something garlicky. It is said that babies will nurse more intently, which may amount to a decrease in time. I don't kNOW that- it may well increase the time, but hey- if you decide it's worth a shot and like garlic...!

    Good luck and God Bless!
    Lollie
  8. jpowell79

    jpowell79 New Member

    I also have bad FM, and had a baby a little over 11 months ago. I don't want to bring you down, but my FM has gotten progressively worse since my son was born. VERY bad flare, along with depression. All of that stress caused my milk to all but dry up by the time my son was 4 months old. The best advice I can give is do NOT be afraid to ask for help from friends and family....and get help from a psych. or your OB/Gyn! I waited far too long to get help for the depression, and that just makes the pain worse.

    Another thing that helped me a lot in breastfeeding was getting the hang of breastfeeding while laying down. A LOT of cultures have their babies more or less attached to them (wraps and such) 24 hours a day, and the baby breastfeeds as needed. I would cuddle up with my son, and let him nurse at will and use me as a pacifier. It maintained my milk as long as possible, and allowed for me to rest too (as long as he was latched correctly!! lol) It is a great bonding experience, it is very comforting to the babies (imagine always being snuggled up and warm-then thrust into a way open and cold environment!) and it allows you to at least rest. Once you are comfortable, you can even nap that way-there is research showing that babies sleep better with their mom-and we (unlike the daddies) have instincts to keep us from rolling onto the baby. That is...unless you have sleep apnea, take medications to sleep, or have severe weight problems (no offense meant at all...just warning that in those situations, sleeping together is not safe) For more information on that (also along the lines of Attachment parenting), look online for Dr. Sears-he has a book and a website. His ideas are easily modified to fit your lifestyle. Attachment parenting can be very demanding-timewise-but at the same time, a lot of the ideas both allow for you to rest (not necessarily SLEEP, but rest), and promotes healthy development of your baby.

    As far as getting anything done besides taking care of the baby...if you can, get someone else to pick that up...you need your time to rest. If the baby is sleeping, you sleep! Just a warning (which you may already know)...all of the hormonal changes make for a surprisingly comfortable pregnancy...but SUPER flare for quite a while after birth (I am STILL hoping for it to let up some)

    Let me know if you would like to keep in touch, maybe through emails, it sounds like we have a lot in common, and sharing experiences with this might help relieve some tension (comforting to know/understand that someone else is going through it too)

    Sorry so long, but I hope to help some. Congrats and good luck with your little one!

    ~Jaime
  9. zoemurr

    zoemurr New Member

    because my DD and I had an awful time nursing and it was a very stressful time for me.. I wasn't sick then, just felt like such a bad mommy that I wasn't making any milk.

    Anyway.. someone mentioned the "getting up in the middle of the night to make bottles.." we did this with our first and you're right, it stinks. We got smart with our second..

    Keep 1 or 2 bottles of measured, boiled water by your bed. Keep premeasured formula there too. (You can buy a cute little container at Target that holds 3 "servings" of powdered formula.) In the middle of the night you dump the formula into the bottle and shake it up. Stick it in the kids mouth. :) Room temp is fine for baby.

    This is how we ended up making all our bottles. Then you don't need to warm them from the fridge, while the kid is screaming. Maybe you could just have your hubby do one formula bottle in the middle of the night so you can sleep? If you register with the formula companies you will get a lot of free samples and coupons, but it does get $$.

    My kids were formula fed and 1 has had one ear infection and both have no allergies. My DD has a very high IQ and skipped the 1st grade. Now that they are bigger I feel much less guilty about it. But certainly don't let anyone else make you change your mind. (Just trying to share what worked for us.) HTH -Sherry
  10. tinatinva

    tinatinva New Member

    I BF both my babies.. it can be done.. the first 6 weeks are hard for anyone..for us, even harder.
    As with anyone with FM you gotta get your sleep. I "taught" my husbang to bring the baby to me at night..and burp and change after. He even got proficient at guiding the baby to nurse..sometimes I barely woke!!!
    Nap when the baby naps (i know easy said than done... but do it!!!)

    Take care!!!

    Tina
  11. zoya19

    zoya19 Guest

    I just wanted to thank everyone for their information and advice.

    I feel I do want to continue breast feeding. I have pumped a couple times and may start doing it more. My husband works 9-6 daily so I basically do the daytime and the late night stuff. When he gets home it is time to do supper and I try to have a bath or shower to relax.

    I have been drinking lots of water. My diet has slipped since being pregnant and now just grabbing fast things. I do really need to get back to it. (I was doing no white flour, no white sugar, lots of fruits and veggies and whole white stuff).

    I don't really have a lot of people to help me out. My dad passed away the end of August this year and my Mom is really disabled (walker, wheelchair, falls everyday, can't write anymore, trouble talking, etc.) So, I have been trying to help her out as much as possible while caring for myself and the baby. My husband is great when he is home but he is the money maker so I want him to get his sleep. His parents stop by once in a while to see the baby but that is about it. I don't believe they think there is anything wrong with me.

    House work wise..I have been slacking some but then I feel embrassed when people stop by. I probably shouldn't though. Most people know I have fibro. I have had it since a teenager (now 27). I think most people don't believe it. Normally I look fine and if I go out anywhere I wear makeup, etc. I find this really hard. They think my only problems are the baby keeping me awake..they don't understand or want to know about the pain.

    dlsgroovymom - I do have a bobby pillow and it helps

    jpowell79 - I would like to keep in touch and discuss things via email. Not sure what your email address is and not sure if I am allowed to post it here..so please let me know how to get in touch with you.

    I will add a pic of the baby to my profie in a minute.

    I think I wrote a lot now so I will stop and thanks again for everything and any other ideas please let me know.

    Thanks,
    Kathy
  12. Mar19

    Mar19 New Member

    Your baby is ADORABLE!!! Thanks for putting the picture in your profile!

    He certainly looks healthy and happy -- you must be doing a great job as mommy! It's the hardest and best job in the entire world.

    I just thought of a poem I saw on a sampler when mine were babies. Maybe you're already familiar with it -- I love it; passed it on to my dd and others I've known with babies.

    Cleaning and scrubbing
    Can wait 'til tomorrow
    For babies grow up,
    We've learned to our sorrow.

    So quiet down cobwebs,
    Dust go to sleep.
    I'm rocking my baby,
    And babies don't keep!

    Nursing? Formula? Schedules? Cleaning? In-laws? Out-laws? Above all, just love that little one and treasure each moment. The exhaustion won't last forever; you've made it thru the roughest patch.

    Love and blessings
    Mar
  13. zoya19

    zoya19 Guest

    Thanks Mar for the beautiful poem. I am going to print it and hang it on the fridge.

    I tried the laying down breastfeeding last night and it went pretty well. His latch wasn't the best but I guess practice will make perfect. Thanks for the tips ladies.

  14. sabimax

    sabimax New Member

    I am all for the breastfeeding...still feeding my youngest..she is 9months yesterday..and Yes I am exhausted...but the bottles at night would exhaust me more right getting up and makign them...never have done bottles for any of my four kids....

    I work full time now...and nursing..and recently dx with fibro...have many symptoms..and exhausted most of my days...

    things for your back...I would breastfeed as often as you can laying down...in bed on sides....that is relaxing...rest when baby naps...and drink lots of water..take a multi or prenatal vitamin and get many good foods for you..and the baby....good luck,sarah
  15. Mamalovinit

    Mamalovinit New Member

    Congratulation!!!!

    MY most favorite subject in the world. I love being a wife and mother.

    I went into or almost total remission with my babies too. I would flare some right after they were born. My labors were hard and put my arms out of use twice. DH would help me hold them by placing my arms around them and holding on to both of us. I would start feeling better 3 or 4 months after they were born and would flare bad after I weened them. I feel only half as bad when I am nursing and so much better pregnant. If I could just stay pregnant or nursing the rest of my life I wouldn't even worry about the FM.lol

    Like the others said diet and water makes a big difference.
    I also take vit. B-12 shots, aloud through preg. and nursing. Keep taking the pre nates too.

    I nursed laying down with mine too. Even if I didn't sleep it was relaxing to lay down and rest my whole body. Babies sleep a lot at first so I slept right along with them. Like the others said let the house go. You can never get back the time with your child but the dust and dishes can wait.
    If you do not have a dishwasher buy paper plates and such. Even if you husband will not use paper, you can and that cuts dishes by half. I worked on things when DH first came home and he was playing with the kids. Then we spent time together before going to bed. If you sleep through out the day with the baby you don't mind waking up so much at night. I hardly had to open my eyes (after a bit of practise)to feed at night. I have nursed about 10 years of my life. lol I have 7 children and as my name says I LOVE IT. I have learned not do push myself and just go with the floe.
    If you have any ? in particular you want to ask I would be happy to answer them.
    Mamalovinit
  16. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    GET HELP! anybody that offers. Parents, g'parents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, friends, you name it. I had two kids in just under two years. I just had one and was pregnant with the second. I got no help from any body. I think it (and other things) set off my FM.

    Make sure you sleep when baby sleeps. don't run around doing housework or whatever, that'll wait. Just sleep.

    Michelle
  17. Jenni-2

    Jenni-2 New Member

    Hi I agree with Amy, a boppy pillow makes a lot of difference! I am 22 weeks with my 3rd pregnancy. I am having a rough time with my FM. I was horribly sore too after my kids were born. It does get better when they start sleeping better. I too, am dreading the sore and achy sleepless nights ahead, but it is so worth it! Just tell yourself you will get through this and it is only temporary. I promise as time passes it will get easier. It just sucks in the mean time! About cleaning up, let it go until you feel better. your health and the baby is way more important. My house was a wreck and if someone else didn't like it they could either help or not come over! I wish you all the luck!
  18. jpowell79

    jpowell79 New Member

    I'd love to keep in touch! I think it is against rules to post email addresses on here? Most boards have a way to send private messages...anyone know of a way to do that without violating rules?

    I, too, am 27, small world! *gentle hugs*

    ~Jaime
  19. Dee50

    Dee50 New Member

    A nursing pillow would help with your nursing. Just run a search on nursing pillows. It helps because you don't have to hold the baby the pillow does so your back, arms don't get so tired. Drink lots of water:) Enjoy and best wishes to you and your new little one.

    Dee50
  20. maggiemae55

    maggiemae55 New Member

    I am a Lactation Consultant in a hospital, (with fms)and will encourage you to continue to breastfeed. Like most women have said, it is sooo much easier and the benefits just can't compare to any artifical baby milk!

    You body releases hormones which make you feel tired and sleepy, that is mother nature's way of making you rest, they call it "mother's valium", so listen to your body.

    I would try lying down, nap when your baby naps, and accept help.Rest, rest, rest! Eat to hunger, drink to thirst, if you overdrink, your body can become "waterlogged" and your body will look to the 1st place there is too much fluid....your breasts, so if you are thirst drink, you want clear urine, altho some vitamins make your urine more yellow...just listen to yor body.

    Remember too, at 6 wks, 3 and 6 mos your baby will have a growth spurt,and want to eat all the time. This lasts about 48 hours, and your baby is saying "hey mom, I'm growing, please make more!" Remember it's supply and demand, so if you start giving too many bottles, you supply may go down.

    I believe the 1st time you look down at your baby at your breast, and your baby hangs on and smiles up at you, you will melt, and know it is worth it! Breastfeeding is wonderful, and your bay would choose breastfeeding over formula feeding any day.

    I could go on and on, but I wish you peace and love with your baby, and there are Lactation Consultants all over the country happy to help if any problems arise.

    Enjoy, because before you know it your baby will be off to college! I know, it happened to me :)

    Warmly,
    Maggie