New Caregiver who doesn't know what to expect....

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by czmvjc, Jul 13, 2004.

  1. czmvjc

    czmvjc New Member

    We just recently moved my parents from their home in another state to live close by us due to my mother's Alz. My father is 81 and has taken care of my mother for the last 3 years himself. We knew this was way to much on him and we got them both to agree to move. Now that they are here it has been hell on all of us, especially them adjusting. It's only been a month, however my mother is VERY angry about the move and thinks we all did this behind her back. I know that is the Alz. talking but it has been very hard to reach her. She is in a deep depression and doesn't want to leave the house except if we will take her back to her old home. My father is exhausted as we all are dealing with this. We haven't had time to establish a doctor/patient relationship with anyone yet, but have an appt. this week. My mother has developed seizures with the Alz. but doesn't have them very much. Last one was about a year ago, until this move. She has had 3 in one week I believe because of the stress/depression/anxiety. I am going to take my Dad to our first support group meeting tomorrow and hope to find help. I find myself second guessing this decision to move them out here because they are having such a hard time right now. I know in my heart it was the right thing to do in the long run, but I am dying right now watching them suffer. Any advice you might have on how to best help them adjust to this move would be greatly appreciated. My heart goes out to all of you. I can't believe how horribly devasting this disease is on everyone involved. Now that I am in the middle of it on a day to day basis, I find myself getting very depressed. I also have a son who has epilespy and has seizures quite often, so my plate is very full. Is there any light in this tunnel ahead? My mother is in the Early/Moderate stages of the disease and I don't know what to expect next. Thanks for reading and taking the time to reply if you can.
  2. Yesh

    Yesh New Member

    GONE TO THE ALZHEIMERS BOARD HERE? ALSO, MAYBE THERE IS A SENIOR CITIZEN CENTER NEAR YOU, YOUR PARTENTS COULD GO THERE TO MEET PEOPLE THEIR OWN AGE AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS. ALSO, MAYBE YOU COULD FIND A SUPPORT GROUP IN YOUR AREA FOR YOUR SELF AND YOUR FAHTER.

    OF COURSE YOUR MOTHER IS STRESSED, TRY LOOKING AT THIS SITUATION FORM HER POINT OF VIEW, WITH HER CONFUSION. HOW WOULD YOU REACT? I WORKED IN LONG-TERM CARE FOR 17 YEARS, ONE THING THAT HELP ME WITH MY PATIENTS WAS PUTTING MYSELF IN THEIR SHOES BEFORE I SAID A WORD.

    GOD BLESS, I WILL SAY A PRAYER FOR YOU

    YESH
  3. czmvjc

    czmvjc New Member

    Thank you for your kind words of support and advise. Things are much better now....we did some med changes! I do need to get them to the senior center and hopefully they will get involved with some other people their own age. Started checking out some local churches with them and hope to find one they like so they can join one and get more involved.
  4. Suze

    Suze New Member

    You might start asking around to find a good lawyer who specializes in elder law. Your mother may need professional care at some point, and it makes sense to try to preserve as much of your parents' assets as possible.

    Your dad may not express it right now, but I'm sure it's an enormous relief to him not to have the sole burden of care and decision making where your mother is concerned. You did a good thing.

    Suze