New Dr Told me FMS in my mind due to depression

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mommyoffive, Apr 25, 2006.

  1. mommyoffive

    mommyoffive New Member

    Hi everyone, I am very happy to have found this board. This is the first time that I have written a msg here. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 10 months ago by my doctor (internal medicine). She was great and extremely helpful. Unfortunately, she has left the practice and has moved out of state. When I tried to explain my symptomss to the new doctor that I have been assigned to he told me that many doctors to not believe that fibromyalgia exists and that my daily pain and other symptoms are only there because I am depressed and that they are basically all imagined symptoms. I am crushed. I am an exhausted mother of five young children, my husband (who is away at work 60-70 hrs. a week) doesn't seem to believe that my symptoms are real & I hurt CONSTANTLY! Has anyone else had a similar experience? I guess that I just need some moral support. Thanks for listening.
  2. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    We have all heard that line and to be frank, it's a line of crap!! Don't put up with it. Find a new Doctor and soon. There is a Doctor referral at the top of this page. That's a good place ot start.

    It is NOT in your head, if you are depressed it is because you are exhausted and in pain. Please respect what you know to be true.

    You will find lots of support and information here. Come by anytime and ask as many questions as you want. There is always someone who can help.

    Take Care
  3. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    I would have told him a thing or to.

    Sounds like it's time to find another doc and I hope find a keeper.

  4. srh

    srh New Member

    Hang in there. I had a pain spec tell me almost the same thing a couple weeks ago.

    I'm so glad you found the board. Sorry though that you have this awful disease.

    As for your husband, tell him to put his ankle or "whatever" into a vise and you'll tighten it up for him to show him just the kind of pain you have. Then he can decide if it's real or not!!!!

    I would rather have had dozens of children (if someone else would pay to raise them!!) than to have this pain.

    I am so sorry. I am so lucky I have a mate that understands. Well maybe not so lucky, because he is also in pain everyday and that is why he understands.

    Good luck and welcome.

  5. mom4three

    mom4three New Member

    Should print out some of the info on here and give it to me and then say I hope no one you know ever experiences this..

    Some doctors.. I hope you find a new one.

  6. lease79

    lease79 New Member

    What an ass, if he was a dr in Australia you'd be able to report him for saying that :( Not sure about anywhere else though...
    I've had different Dr's tell me different things, one told me that CFS is something that 'broken down sports people suffer from when they can no longer compete', another one told me that I am 'highly sensitive & need to see it as a gift & not a burden' PFT! Whatever!!!
    I have 4 small children, & know what it's like to have noone believe that there's anything wrong with you :( It sucks :(
    ~*Gentle Hugs*~ & get yourself a new Dr ASAP ;)

  7. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    You cannot kick that doctor to the curb fast enough to suit me! Do you have to be assigned to a doctor?
    Fibromyalgia is a recognized diagnosis. Tell the doctor that you don't care what it is called, but you have pain 24/7.
    Yes, you are exhausted. Can you find a mothers day out program for your kids for a couple of days a week? Just being able to take a nap those two days may help. Tell your husband that you are EXHAUSTED in the evening. Why would you lie about something as serious as pain?? Does he not see you as an honest person? Great scott, you are an adult. The next time he is sick, I would certainly say Oh man you are just whining, get up and go to work. See how he likes it.
  8. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    Here comes the Governments own medical site that speaks about FM.

    If it's there, it's not all in your head. And FYI: next time he has a bad flu, tell him it's all in his head and tell him to get his lazy behind to work,,,LOL!

    Welcome to the board, as well!
  9. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    has got cause confused with effect; the horse before the cart; his head where his behind should be.

    A couple hundred years ago doctors didn't believe in the germ theory.
  10. kriket

    kriket New Member

    that he is actually a doctor!!!He sounds a little uneducated if you ask me. kind of scary, caues I think there are too many doctors that need to go back to school or go to continuing ed. class, then they still might act an a##!!

    [This Message was Edited on 04/25/2006]
  11. julieisfree05

    julieisfree05 New Member

    To ignorant doctors..


    (I believe I have mentioned that I'm a smart-ass...?)

    julie (is free!)

    You don't have to hate the other woman
    She'll do it herself..

    -Chely Wright
  12. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    Your symptoms are not all in your head. They are for real. This is a real illness.

    I was for years told I was a malingerer and a hypochondriac. I truly believed I was lazy and depressed. By chance I found a wonderful doctor who sent me to a rheumatologist, who diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. I recently also found out I have Crohn's disease. I have added a gastroenterologist to my team. These doctors are top shelf. I realize every day how lucky I am especially when I read stories on here how folks are blown off by the medical establishment, as I was for so many years.

    Can you get reassigned to another doctor? I would get away from this dude. He needs an attitude adjustment.

    Now, for the husband part of it. My husband also is gone from home a lot like yours and I raised my two kids basically alone, still am, they are teens now. My husband won't say the word "fibromyalgia" or talk about "Crohn's disease". Sometimes he sort of jokingly makes fun of these conditions, and it makes me feel hurt. HOWEVER......He has taken over a lot of the weekly grocery shopping, he goes to the warehouse club and bulk buys a lot of the heavy stuff so I don't have to, and when I had a Crohn's flare up in the fall he went and did all the Christmas shopping without complaint. So I guess he just isn't very demonstrative with words.

    Anyway, welcome to this forum and you can vent here anytime, everyone has great advice. Remember to take care of Number One (that's you), I learnt that the hard way. Everybody here has good tips about managing this illness. Ask anything you want.

    Three of my basic FM survival rules are:

    Take care of you first.
    Do the bare minimum to get by.
    Make sure you drink enough water. We get dehydrated easily.

    And one more thing rest when you can ok?

    Glad to have you join us.

  13. sop28

    sop28 New Member

    My doctor has never come right out and said those words but I can tell that he doesnt believe in it. Anytime I go in to see him for a problem he asks "when did you see your psychiatrist last, maybe he needs to up your meds."

    It's so infuriating! Unfortuanatly you are not alone. Many of us have had this problem.

    I have an appointment with a new doctor next month. I think you should join me. Or maybe try to educate him(I tried & it didn't work, but it's worth a try). Do some searching and take it with you on your next visit. If he isn't interested in looking at what you've given him then definitly fine a new doc.

    Good luck~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~T
  14. kholmes

    kholmes New Member

    I am disabled with CFS and had a number of similar experiences with physicians in the early stages. At first, I wondered if they were right; if this wasn't some kind of depression or psychosomatic problem.

    I want to also assure you that these illnesses are most assuredly not "all in our heads"! There are many medical articles on this board that will help you. I would suggest you print out a few, send them to your "doctor," and fire him immediately.


  15. pearls

    pearls New Member

    My internist left town and I saw the new one. He immediately wanted to send me to a psychaiatrist. When I said no to that, he said that we should be no less ready to seen a psychaiatrist than a cardiologist. I said to him that I wasn't going to do it because I just met him and he did not know me. If he got to know me, then we could discuss it. Then I asked how much he knew about fibromyalgia. His answer? "Not much." So I pasted a big smile on my face and answered, "Then I'll teach you!" That predictably went over like the proverbial wet balloon. End of story.

    I found a new internist right away. I sincerely hope your medical plan allows you to find a new doctor because you truly need a new one - and the faster the better. You should be seeing a pain specialist (a rehabilitation specialist, also called a physiatrist, not psychaiatrist) or rheumatologist, as well. Either one of these, if he or she is good, will give you the extra help you need.

    I'm not sure it helps much to get advise to tell your husband to do this and that to himself, though. He is most likely afraid of what's happening to his wife, his family and himself. It is difficult to be a spouse of someone with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome. Men have a hard time talking about those feelings or even recognizing them for what they are.

    Your husband needs educating. There are several sources for helping spouses. 1) You may ask for constructive help right on this message board. 2) Check out Dr. Devin Starlanyl's website (use Google). She has some handouts for doctors and, I believe, care-givers (that includes your husband). She also has two fine books on fibormyalgia, even though they are a few years old. The one that will help the most with your husband and getting healthcare is, "The Fibromyalgia Advocate: Getting the Support You Need to Cope with Fibromyalgia and Myofascial Pain Syndrome," Deving J. Starlanyl, M.D., 1999, New Harbinger Publications, Inc. You can get this book on Amazon or order it through your local bookstore. By the way, Dr. Starlanyl herself has both fibromyalgia and chronic myofascial pain, so she is a wonderful source.

    One more thing: there can be light at the end of the tunnel! A few years ago, I was in terrible shape. With the help of my pain specialist, good nutrition, my chiropractor, exercise and attention to good sleep hygiene, my symptoms are incredibly better (though I still have the disease, of course, and problems with it). The difference is like night and day. Even today, my husband doesn't really get it (how can he, he's not in my body?), but he has learned to trust me about how I am feeling, and to be supportive.

    Good luck. Use this board. When you are hurting, it can be a lifesaver.

    Pearl S.

    [This Message was Edited on 04/26/2006]
  16. dancingstar

    dancingstar New Member

    You've gotten some really good answers here...but there is one thing I would consider doing if some quack said something like that to me: I'd report them to the Medical Board.

    This would be especially effective if you go to another doctor, like one that you find on this board, and have some of the serious blood work done that places like the FFC do to show the different kind of things that are wrong and causing your pain. That way you can show that this other dude did nothing but dismiss you. Doctors like that make me sooooo angry that I wouldn't much care if he were sued for malpractice by someone or other. Grrr......

    Sorry for being so outspoken....(stepping down off the soapbox and quietly walking back to her chair.)
  17. mommyoffive

    mommyoffive New Member

    I can't begin to tell you all how much it means to me to finally have found a place for support. Thank you all so much for the kind words, information and ideas. You don't know how much it means to me. My children's pediatrician gave me the name of a new doctor to try. I am going to call the office tomorrow.

    The other doctor that I mentioned in the previous post, the one who didn't believe that my symptoms were real, is just out of medical school and it an internist specializing in pyschology. I've never heard of a mix like that before, but I honestly think that because of the pyschology part of his profession, he thinks that he has me all figured out. When I tried to explain my symptoms to him (for instance...waking up many mornings with one entire side of my body being numb), he told me that everybody has problems like these and because of my depression I am just dwelling on them too much. That's when he told me that many dr's don't believe that fibro is a real illness.

    As for my husband understanding my illness, I'm afraid that I'm just going to have to hurt alone. Anytime I mention anything about feeling bad I am met with complete silence. It's something that I really am trying hard to just accept and live with.

    Anyway, I thank you all again. Your help & support means so much to me!!
  18. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    i am a mommy of 4...have heard the same crap in the begining of this illness....get a new doc,,.and get those books that pearls mentioned!! i have them both and love them! they are so easy to read! also, my dh is the same as yours..hates to talk about it....doesnt want to hear my com;aints...won't read anything about it...when i was first sick, he was always pissed off...slamming drawers and cupboards...not talking to me...seemed like he was on the verge of a blow up all the, a couple years into it, he still doesn't talk much about it but he does almost everything with our 2 youngest kids....runs all the errands....and he is the superintendent of the school district so he is super busy!

    hang in will get better!
  19. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    "connective tissue disease"

    doctors should be our advocates not our enemies

    I am definitely on the side of "get rid of the zero and get you a hero"!!!!

    The American College of Rheumatology does consider it a "real" disease and provides the classification for other "health professionals" on their website.

    Madame Curie

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