New here and feeling so lonely

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by SooDoo, Jun 20, 2003.

  1. SooDoo

    SooDoo New Member

    Hi Everyone,
    I am elated to have found this website...I have been meaning to hook up with online support group but I have been so wiped out since getting my new allergy shots. I have FM and CFS, and I guess I am just feeling blue tonight. Like I said, I staarted getting allergy shots and yesterday was my sixth shot. Today I woke up at 1:00pm! I can't believe I slept in until 1:00pm. I have had FM and CFS since 1994 and sometimes I cope well and other times, like tonight, I feel like I am just a thing, not a person anymore. I guess because it is another Friday night and I am alone (mostly always I am alone it seems). I am an outgoing person by nature, but I am just so tired all the time that I have reallly been isolating lately. I guess I get afraid that I will always be single and alone and my 40th birthday is coming up in August and I guess it scares me. I am trying to improve my health and I do have SSD, although it is only $774.00/month. In the past, it has helped me to pray and to remember my spirituality, but ya know how somwtimes ya just need to feel the pain of the feelings? I guess taht is tonight for me. Anywaym, thank you for reading this. I did strt volunteering at the local animal shelter last week and I did love the doggies! So sweet and I am learning a new skill there (I am new to dogs-never owned one but I do love them)!
    Thank you again for listening. I know that you all have times of suffering...I hope to be able to also offer support to you all aat hard times.
    Thanks again.SooDoo
  2. kar1953

    kar1953 New Member

    Welcome to the board. I'm glad you found us. There are many caring & loving people here. There is probably someone who has had or knows about anything you need to ask. Great support, too.

    I have been so tired that I've slept for hours when I just laid down for a "nap".

    Working with the animals at the shelter must be very rewarding. I have 3 litters of kittys right now & they are so darned cute, I can hardly stand to give them away. I also have 4 adult cats & my dog Jumpin' Jack Flash (he's my baby lol)

    Hope to see you around often. Again, welcome.

    Take care.......Kathi
  3. Susan07

    Susan07 New Member

    Welcome aboard! I just found this place a couple of months ago and now I look in once a day. Mostly late at night.

    Sorry you are alone; a cat or 2 make great pets. We have 1 cat (lost the 2nd one a couple of months ago) and 2 dogs. It is so uplifting to walk in and have animals greet you. They are so happy when someone comes home.

    Take care, you'll learn alot from this message board.
  4. zggygirl

    zggygirl New Member

    I was feeling exactly the same way today. I'm 45 and I spend so much time alone and so much of that time just feeling soooooooo-tired.
    I went to the pool near here today feeling about 80 years old and listened to the 20 year olds and I wanted to (and did a little) cry.
    I remember caring about tan lines and meeting guys and FRIDAY night! and I just felt, well you know.
    Anyway I am new here also and have become rapidly hooked to this board.
    Wish I had found it sooner.
    The chat board is a good one also, just to get away from all the medical stuff on this board. It can be overwhelming, and I start feel pressured to CURE this thing.
    Hope see you on here again soon
    Take Care,

  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Hi SooDoo, welcome to our little world here. Glad you found our board, and hope we hear from you often.

    I do believe we all get those down days, but around here you can get some support to lift you back up.

    I have had FM for over 20 years, so know where you are coming from.

    I used to be a people person, but to be honest, I feel better with less people around these days.

    Too much activity/talking/entertaining, is just way too much for me anymore. I even get tired talking on the phone at times. Just saps my energy.

    You should not feel that you are a 'thing', you are a person and a very important one at that! None of God's children are unimportant :)

    I spend lots of time alone, my husband works for an oil company and is gone for weeks at a time, then is home for weeks.
    My three children are grown and on their own. I have two grandchildren, but do not see any of them too often.

    I now live in the country, and am very isolated. I am on five acres of mostly wooded land and I just love the solitude and the all the wild animals that come on the grounds.

    I have five dogs for company, three are indoors two are outdoors(their choice). They are my best companions.

    That is wonderful to volunteer at an animal shelter! I wish I could do that, but then again I would want to bring all the animals home with me.

    I have been on this board for over two years now, and it has helped so very much with this illness. I am 80% better healthwise then when I first came here.

    The last few days have been hard thought, I am in a what I call, a semiFlare. I had a bit of a shock and the stress is always my worst enemy.

    You mentioned church? Well we have our own 'Worship Board' here, just go to the link that says; 'message boards', and it will bring you to an index with all available boards here.
    Just click on Worship board and it will bring you to it. You can add a prayer request, or just answer some too, its for all denominations.

    We also have a Chit Chat Board, you can reach it the same way. That is for off subjects, just about anything you want to chat about, jokes, homelife, etc. Not to be confused with the live chat, its a board just like this one. Some super nice people there also.

    Again, welcome to the boards, and I do hope we hear from you often......................

    Shalom, Shirl
  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    You are a wonder! I just answered 'Clueless' post, she is 75 and gardening like someone half her age. You need to read her post tonight too. Its on this page, just look for 'Clueless' and read.

    Shalom, Shirl
  7. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    This is a great place, lot's of info. Now I don't want to rain on your parade. Just a heads up--I do desensitization shots for allergies. I cannot remember when I first started if the shots made me more tired, my allergies exhausted me, the outcome was treating allergies made me less tired.

    I have allergies to dogs/cats. With the shots I can tolerate one dog in the house. When our dear Fritz passed away, a year later I was searching for another dog, and wanted a dog-in-need and went pound-shopping.

    Everytime I did, I got EXTREMELY tired, yes dog-tired, keep this in mind.

    Welcome to the board again! Fondly June
  8. tulip922s

    tulip922s New Member

    Welcome SooDoo, I like that name. I am relatively new here myself and have found this board to be a wealth of information and full of very kind and compassionate people.

    This sure is a lonely illness,,,,only my cat sleeps as much as I do. I have a teenage daughter, but, she usually just checks in and is off with friends much of the time,,,which is great at that age.

    I have found that reaching out through the internet has helped me cope with this isolation of this illness.

    Again welcome and keep us posted on how you are doing. We care and are concerned for you. Tulip
  9. cindye

    cindye New Member

    Get yourself a good book "What Your Doctor may Not Tell You abour Fibromyalgia" by Drt. St. Amand and a puppy to curl up next to you when you are feeling bad. Dr. St. Amnand gives a good explanation about fibro and if you can find a doctor who prescribes to following the guai protocol go for it. Changed my daughters life so-oo-o-o-o-much! Good luck! I pray for fibro victims everyday because I know that sometimes they just do not have the energy or sometimes feel "what is the use - haven't had a answer yet". I found the answer for my daughter - guai, a very supportative chiro and massage therapist and of course her strong desire to try anything to feel better.
  10. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    Welcome; you won't be lonely anymore, at least not here! There are a lot of us all in the same (or similar) boat.

    I am 47, & take allergy shots, too, for about 6 months, & just reached my maintenence level. What helped even more than the shots for my inhalant allergies, was the testing my allergist did for foods; turned out after YEARS, literally, of eating the "wrong" foods, I was pretty severely allergic to milk, wheat (well, gluten), soy & eggs just to name the worst offenders. I never had a clue, had eaten these foods forever! Now I'm on a very restrictive diet, but I've lost 25 lbs (which I had never previously had any success losing) but the biggest thing is, I definitely notice FMS improvements, starting with more energy! This wasn't noticeable immediately; took me about 6-8 weeks on the diet. But I haven't been working in years, & now I'm starting to job hunt; that's how much better I feel! I only mention this because you brought up allergies & tiredness, & this has really helped my energy level, so I wondered if you had ever had food's something I'd never even considered in the past (even though I'd dealt with the inhalant allergies for years). Not an FMS "cure" for me, but is making a difference----I think I wrecked my immune system with years of lousy eating!!

    Sounds like you are trying to do wonderful things to get out in your community, like volunteering at the animal shelter, which is very hard for us to do when we are so fatigued, but so rewarding if we can, huh? I love animals, too, I had dogs growing up, but now have two shelter-adopted cats.

    Glad you found us here! This is a great place for all kinds of wonderful info & support!!

    Welcome Hugs,
  11. cindy_cfids

    cindy_cfids New Member

    If you go to Yahoo Groups and search for Singles & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome you should be able to find it. It's a warm, positive group with 100 members now and growing fast. It's about 75% female & 25% male.
    Yahoo Group Name: CfidsandFMSingles
    Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & F/M Singles

    A place where Singles with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia and related illneses can find friends, relationships and hopefully romance.
    This site is new so it may take time to grow, please pass the word about this site to other singles with CFIDS or Fibromyalgia. This is a nice positive,informative site. Please feel free to speak what's on your mine,and tell us a little about yourself and how you are doing and coping.
  12. Dara

    Dara New Member

    past posts and came across yours. I would also like to welcome you to this board. It is a wonderful place to be, lots of answers to any of your questions. I was so glad when I found this board. I also have allergies, but not taking any allergy shots yet. I'm really leary of doing it, not sure why though. I was never allergic to anything until about five years ago. Now, I'm allergic to so many things like foods, preservatives, mold, yeasts, shellfish, milk, etc. I do hope you enjoy this board as much as I do.

  13. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    Can not lie and say this is not a lonely disease. Any chronic illness is, this is a quick fix short term society. If we do not snap-out of it soon people seem to go on with their own lives. I understand we can`t make plans or know from minute to minute how we are going to be. If I go with someone and they are driving and keep on and I am on my last leg they do not get it. Then I tend to give up feeling like I am a burden and just stay home.

    I am a people person too. Was extremely athletic and the 1st 1 to be ready when offer to go somewhere. Now by the time I get ready I am exhausted from preparing. I am like Mickie,said, too much of any stinuli including people,noise,too much lighting etc. I am greatful just not to have too much stimuli in my life and embrace being alone,at times.

    Do I miss my old self and all my friends,family and activities, sure do. This I have to work on quite often I would like the old fun loving me back. I have spent many a birthday now alone. I understand there is this constant thought is this all there is. Also leaving this world without someone by my side who loves me. I find relationships hard to keep going, due to having to cancel too many times. It is harder as we get older to make friends and when we are ill if the ones we knew went on their way. How do we get a stranger to understand and support. I did find someone we did have a great time but I had to break it off, his kids and x were more than I had the ability to handle.

    I have recently lost everyone close to me through death or moving. So I know what you are saying. I am fortunate to live on the water,bay,and do enjoy the wildlife. Love dogs will not allow at condo. I do some volunteer like you. That takes just about all my energy.

    Do not give up just never know who is next to you squeezing the oranges,lol.

    Maybe this makes you special a friend pointed out a passage in the bible that some with chronic illness were chosen and special,(thanks alot)lol. I too have felt I am just taking up space, since I do not feel like a productive citizen. Yet, when helping at clinic so many said I made them laugh or helped them so by understanding and kind words. So, maybe then we do have something more to offer if we help one another.

    Also if I am out I try to do 1 kind deed for someone, if it is just opening a door etc. {Sometimes that is all the energy I have when out/lol.}

    Take Care```````Huggggssss

    [This Message was Edited on 07/03/2003]
  14. ssMarilyn

    ssMarilyn New Member

    I look at it this way:

    Thank God that I'm alive to turn 40, and thank God I don't have terminal cancer, parkinsons, multiple sclerosis, emphysema, asthma, ALS, or any other host of horrible diseases. Thank God for another day of life!

    Marilyn :)
  15. Patti2

    Patti2 New Member

    Welcome to one of the most informitive groups I have found in the last 3 years. I also go through the lonelyness, I think most of mine is self pity. My husband left as he could not deal with me being sick most of the time. I do still work (thank god) but the nights are very lonely. What a time for your husband to leave. Most of us end up with the lonelyness,(depression) some will not admitt it.
    Stay on this line and we all pull together it will keep you up and maybe even SMILING!!
  16. Dogtired

    Dogtired New Member

    Hi SooDoo,
    Just had to respond, re: I am new to this site, just turned 40 (March) and am single (and wondering how in the world I will find energy to date/who will understand this), have multiple pets, which ALWAYS have compassion for me, don't know what I would do without the unconditional love of glad you are getting some of that at the shelter and bless you for doing that work.
    Don't have any pearls of wisdom at this point about living with CFS, just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Please feel free to write me anytime. Hang in there!
    -Kristi :)