Last week I found a message board and posted to it. Out of 66 views of my post I had only 4 replies from other newbies who were just as lost as I am. I am hoping this going to be a more friendly board. I am 46 years old, I work at home as a medical transcriptionist. Jan 20th I had to have a disc removed in my neck at the C5-6 level, bone funion done and instrumention put in place. Other than that I do have confirmed arthritis in my left knee, have had 4 surgeries on it and arthritis in my lower spine along with digenerative disc disease. I am on my 3rd marriage, I had 2 abusive marriages, my second husband died waiting for a kidney transplant. The last 6 months he lived, he was good to me, I think he was terrified I would walk out on him and he was completely dependent on me by that time. I stuck it out, I believed in my vows, for better or worse...... He had been gone about 18 months when I met a wonderful man. I don't think I could have asked for a more wonderful person. It is almost like he was special made just for me and at the age of 46 I am finally happy. As a child I suffered extreme physical and sexual abuse so it was no great surprise that I wound up in 2 abusive marriages......... Anywho, now to the present. For several years I have had what my doctor said he thought was chronic fatigue syndrome. I would have episodes that would last anywhere from 6 days to 6 weeks. I would get out of bed exhausted no matter how many hours I slept. At times, you could not place your hand anywhere on my body that I did not hurt. The episodes would come and go and I noticed stress would often be the trigger for another one. As I mentioned before with the episodes of the aching I would have, those had dropped off considerably. (My husband has the most kind and gentle nature about him, and I am not terrified that I am gonna get myself beat any second, I not on edge all the time with him) I would still have brief ones just not as bad as before. I saw my neurosurgeon again this past Monday and he said he wanted a myelogram to try to pinpoint what is going on. He doesn't think I have spine compression anywhere else but he did mention he thinks it could be Fibromyalgia. I am still off work from the neck surgery so I have lots of time to do research on the net about it. The 18 trigger point test, I was able to say YES to 16 of them!!!!!!!!!!!!! Always before an episode of the terrible achiness comes on, prior to it, I don't sleep well at all despite taking something to help me sleep. Another major problem I have developed since the surgery is a problem with my balance. I have fallen several times, as much as 3-4 times a day. At times I walk like I am drunk and I DON'T drink. It has gotten to the point when we go somewhere either John my hubby has a hand on me or I am hanging on to him to help steady myself. Headaches.......... I have what I call a "half-baked" headache almost all the time, it ranges from tolerable to a full-blown migraine. The fatigue is just unbelieveable. My legs will hurt so bad and feel so heavy that it is like they have concrete blocks tied to them. If one of my cats are lying in the floor, if I try to step over them, I can't, I end up kicking them so I have learned to go around them. My arms feel like spaghetti. My hair is just above my shoulders and to blow dry my hair and roll it on electric rollers is just such an ordeal for me. My arms will ache and hurt so bad from it. I used to wear my hair short, wash it in the shower, comb it and let it air dry. John once mentioned he would like to see me let my hair grow out so I started letting it grow. He told me the other day if it is that much of an ordeal for you, cut your hair short again, don't put yourself through pain for me, meaning himself. Normally I have a sub-normal temperature. When I am feeling fine, my temp almost never reaches 98 degrees. Now for the past few months I have been running low-grade fevers quite often despite me not feeling sick in any way, no sore throat, no cold, no nothing. Medications I am on: Prozac, Norvasc for hypertension, Entex LA for sinus problems, and currently I am on Neurontin 1600 mg per day and Vicoprofen for pain. BRAIN FOG..... Geeze Louise, at times it is really bad. At one point I was beginning to think I had the early symptoms of Alzheimer disease. Hubby has been so kind and gentle with me about it all. If I feel too bad to cook something, he will help me get something simple together. He has been great to help out with the housework, laundry, vacuuming, helping with the animals; we have cats, a dog, 5 ferrets, and 3 birds. No children, just furry and feathered kids. I had 6 premature births resulting in no living children. I hope someone can give me some answers. At one point the pain was so bad before my neck surgery and I was out of my pain meds and doc wouldn't refill them until I came into the office and it was on the weekend. I told John, I will write the suicide note and sign it if you will just shoot me. He was horrified that I would say something like that. Today, I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and pull it in after me. I hurt literally everywhere on my body. My head is pounding, legs feel too weak to hold up the weight of my body. I CAN'T and DON'T want to live this way. This is not living, this is more like some sort of a cruel joke. I have absolutely nothing to look forward to in my life, find pleasure in very few things. This pain is destroying my life. God PLEASE, someone has got to help me.