Hello my name is Mike. I am a first time poster and visitor to this site. I am glad I have found this site for allot of you are asking questions I always asked myself or felt many of the sleepless nights I have felt. I actually have a couple of questions. Some of you may or may not agree with who I am or understand the questions. But I really have no place else to turn for advice except for the people who know how I feel because they have what I have. I am a 22yr old gay guy and I have suffered with CFIDS for 12years now. I was diagnosed with it at age 10. Needless to say I was robbed of much of my childhood. Was home schooled for the remainder of my school years and allowed to attend public school once a year for a small amount of time. But of course I never got to make many friends or attend many of the events. Much of what we all get to go back and remember on I never got to get a chance to build a memory of. I got 2 questions really. One relating to sleep and the other relating to love. So please bear with me. Sleep question: Right now I am on Benadrill I take 1 pill and it pretty much gives me the rest I need. But I do not want to make a habit of using it. When I do use it I get about 6hours rest. But feel mentally and physically drained when I wake up. When I do not use it I get 2hours of sleep per night. If I am lucky I will get more then that. But I find myself over dreaming. I have these dreams where all my senses work..... Smell, taste, sight, sound, and touch, they all work and seem very real when I dream. Of course once I wake up I am totally drained physically and mentally. Anyone else experience this? Or is it just me? This has been going on for 8years and only seems to get worse. Love question: I am not sure if it is a smart idea for me to actually be with someone or not. I have only done long distance relationships because I feel safer and do not want to chance passing what I have to anyone else. I have not seen any hard evidence that says we can or can not pass CFIDS to someone else. In some cases I have read 1 person in the relationship has it but the other does not. Many months to a year later the other person was diagnosed. Maybe it was just a fluke thing. In other cases I have read couples have been together for years and the other person never got it. So it has me very concerned as to if I should chance it or not. Remain single or attempt to actually go out and live my life. Plus being gay I am already labeled with what I could spread to others. I do not need to add another label onto the community in what we can spread now. I am playing it safe. The last thing I want is to give what I have suffered with to someone else. I do not wish it on anyone nor do I ever want to chance it. So my main question for this would be...How are most of you handling the love? I am sure your BFs, GFs, Husbands, and Wife’s are in major support of you. But I am just not sure if I should ever really put this news on someone I might end up with. Don’t know this whole topic really confuses me as to what the future really holds. Thanks for listening.