Hello everyone, my name is Megan. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. My depression diagnosis was 14 years ago, and I was diagnosed with anxiety about six years ago. I'm almost 25 now, and I'm in need of a lot of help. I am a full-time waitress, I have three amazing dogs (that literally have saved my life - I depend on them, they depend on me), I have a very loving boyfriend, I just started school again in an EMT program, etc. I should be happy. I was the victim of medical malpractice when I was 9. My best friend died when I was 16. My mother died when I was 18. My father has been given two weeks to live. I don't talk to my sisters or grandparents or other extended family, due to the fact that I owe my grandparents money and cannot afford to pay them back until I get my other finances in order. My credit score might as well be in the negatives. I can barely pay my bills - they are almost all behind/late every month. I have about $10,000 in debt from credit cards/medical bills/late fees that I can't afford to pay. I get numerous collection calls daily that I ignore because I can't pay my bills, let alone my debt. I enrolled in a debt management program, but had to cancel when I lost my well-paying job. I haven't paid any credit card bills in over a year - simply because I can't. My boyfriend has no idea how depressed I am or how bad my finances are. I feel like I don't have a support system whatsoever, partially because my existing family has all but disowned me, and partially because I am too embarrassed and ashamed to talk to anyone about just how bad it really is. I can't afford the costs that are going to be associated with my EMT program, I may have to drop out of my classes, which would tear me apart. I don't know what to do. I am a hard worker, but I feel like I can't make any headway with anything financial related. I'm scared to talk to my boyfriend about it because despite how understanding he seems, it's possible he won't be able to handle the severity of the situation. I feel like my depression eats away at me. I cry almost every day, I'm always exhausted, and the only time I'm somewhat at ease is when I'm alone at home, in bed with my dogs. I don't have motivation to go to work - I only go because I know that I have to. I don't make frivolous purchases, so it's hard to comprehend why I'm always struggling to even keep my head above water. It's extremely disheartening to know that I've ruined all chances of good credit before I'm 25, but there's nothing I can do about it now. I've always told myself that feeling sorry for myself won't change anything, but truthfully I don't know how not to. It could be worse. I've had suicidal thoughts, but no attempts. My dogs come into play in that sense, that's why they keep me alive - because I know that they need me. It goes without saying that I cannot afford counseling or prescriptions. I'm at a loss.