New Here

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by massmike, Jul 3, 2003.

  1. massmike

    massmike New Member


    I am a 35 yr old male who has been struggling with this for some time. I was diagnosed with FM and CFIDS(who knows if they are one in the same)a year ago. I have worked at my job thru this whole thing and feel lik eI may be making my self worse. My Doctor said it may be time for me to take some time off, maybe 6 months. The problem is that I am single and have isolated myself alot due to my pain and fatigue. The thought of being here alone makes me worry about getting more depressed. I havent really adjusted to accepting that this is real and my life has changed. I am not the same person anymore but I can fake it at work for a while. I like alot of people have spent most of my time going to different doctors hoping they would find something other than this.No Luck there. I know I need therapy but I have spent so much money on trying to get better and I am worse. Hopefully getting support here can help.

    Thanks for listening


  2. BabsFl

    BabsFl New Member

    Welcome to the board! You will find alot of good people here and alot of good info. With all the different people there is always some one who is or has been through some of the same things. It is like having a big family and it is so nice to have friends that understand what you are going through! I haven't worked in 2 years, a trip to the er from work ended that. I did the same and tried to fake it. The last week I worked I could hardly walk for the pain, the day I went to the er I couldn't walk and the pain was unbearable. I was so embarrased.
    I think you will find no matter how much you fight it, you have to listen to your body and rest. I have a husband and 2 teens boys and I still sometimes am lonely just sitting here wishing I could go to work or go dancing,my favorite, with my hubby or even take my kids and go skate..Like I said this board has helped alot! I am 34 dx fibro/cfs for 2 years Arthritis 4 years.
    Not working is a big change but you have to take of yourself and thier are support groups you can go to and meet new friends. Good luck to you in whatever you deside. I am sure someone will reply that is maybe single living alone that may have some better advice. Keep us posted.

  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Listen to your doc. Don't do like I did and work yourself into the ground until you just lie down because you can no longer go one. Once that happens, it is realllllly hard to come back.

    Welcome to our board. I hope it helps you to know you are not alone. I have not been able to work for 2 1/2 years but am getting ready to try to go back. I am socially pretty isolated by choice. I just don't have the energy to do much. I have used the time to relax, read, research and try to get back to feeling well.

    Love, Mikie
  4. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    Welcome to the board, this is one great place to pick up info on what has helped/what has not.

    We are all individuals, different modalities help different folks. But here we can share.

    I was diagnosed over 20 years ago and would describe the course somewhat of a rollercoaster ride. I did attend a support group locally but felt more depressed in the group--maybe this would not have happened in a different group, wo knows, but there was not another one around for me to try. At some point, I felt the group was pulling me down.

    I have held onto my parttime job, 24 hours a week, thus able to keep my health insurance. It also forces me to get out of bed, see people, (though no support from them).

    What has helped me: Dr. Devin Starlanyl's books "Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain" has been updated, 2nd edition has more info. I just bought "The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook" by Clair Davies, am taking it with me this weekend (going away for a few days) to read and apply info. I am in physical therapy receiving myofascial release which has helped tremendously. I exercise every day alternating styles ie water aerobics, swimming, pilates, those stand-up bikes for aerobic exercise, physioball. On days when my body yells "I'm doing nothing", I literally hang out on the physioball, stretching my body over it one way, the other. Some how, I end up with a little more energy and usually end up doing more than I anticipated.

    Well, enough for now, again, welcome, glad your here, not glad you are suffering, many like myself had these "problems" over twenty years before we found this board. Here you are understood. Fondly, June PS I have a 33 year old son,Mike
  5. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    If you could find a support group in your area, it might help. Also, this board has been a lifesaver for me and I've only been here a month! (I check messages twice a day and chat in the evenings when I'm able.)

    As far as counseling goes, many counselors have a sliding fee scale. And who knows, you might be able to find one that your insurance covers.
  6. nancyneptune

    nancyneptune New Member

    Welcome to the board, I won't welcome you to this DD however, I'm sorry you have it. We are all in the same boat, I stopped working 3 years ago. I live alone and it was the single hardest thing I've ever done: having nowhere to go every day and no social interactions.
    It has been a hard thing to come to terms with but I have always been a loner, even a hermit at times, so I do enjoy my time to do as I see fit. Or to do nothing. lol.
    I loved my job and all the people I worked with. I still have dreams that I go to work every day. It's very hard, and I'm 52 and was ready to retire.
    I know it won't be easy for you either. Try to find someone you know to talk to in person, even if it's just to rage about your situation. We'll be here for that too. feel free, you don't have to be a "man" here. good luck, N
  7. massmike

    massmike New Member

    hi, thanks for the message i will try to find your email address in your profile. thanks

  8. donegal

    donegal New Member

    Yes, listen to your doctor and quit pushing yourself. I did that for the first three years, until I just collapsed, and it's no good. My current doctor explained to me that's it's like writing a check on an overdrawn account: the more checks you write, the larger the overdraft - WITH penalties - becomes.

    I went on sheer will-power and espresso for a long, long time, with the result that I am now at less than 50% of normal functioning, and will probably never get much better.

    CFS is now accepted by Social Security, and it will take at least two years to get on it. Or go on your state's disability. If your doctor orders you off work, you'll probably quilify.

    The isolation is bad, but on my better days, I can use it as a learning experience. That has had some positive results, because I've had to re-create myself, having lost everything that had always defined me (mind, body, humor, social life, etc.).
  9. DebP

    DebP New Member

    Hello, and welcome to the board!!! I like you have also isolated myself from the rest of the world, for like five years now....believe me, It makes our condition worse I believe.

    I know that it is sooo hard to go out and socialize when you feel like death warmed over, but it is important that you try to whenever you feel good enough. Even if its just sitting on the porch soaking up some sun or visiting a friend or relative for an hour.

    I havent worked in over 3 years, so i hear where you are coming from there. And you may be making your condition worse by working depending on the work you are doing. I worked in a factory for six years, and I truly believe this was my biggest enemy at the beginning of my disease....Hope I have helped some, if not I wanted to welcome you to the board anyway and let you know you are not alone here!!

    Soft Hugs,
  10. JAP

    JAP New Member


    I know what you are talking about. I did the same, spending money on different doctors in hopes of finding a cure or medication that will help with the pain.

    I've had FMS for about 10 years. Yes, it does change your life. I have lost so many good jobs due to this illness, I'm trying to get on disability but it's going to be a big fight. I'm in a wheelchair now, I'm in pain all the time. I hurt from my head to the bottom of my feet.

    So far the medication the doctors have given me isn't working. When I was working all my money went to the doctors and for my medication.

    When I fount out that I have FMS, I went to a book store and fount a book called Fibromyalgia & Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome (A survival Manual) by Devin starlanyl, M.D and Mary Ellen Copeland, M.S., M.A. It helped me to understand what is going on with my body.

    I will be praying for you. If you want to talk I will be happy to talk with you.