NEW MEMBER ..NEEDING HELP TO COPE

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Pegeo-Pat, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. Pegeo-Pat

    Pegeo-Pat New Member

    Hi! I am new to this site.I a 53 year old female and was diagnosed with Fibro 2 years ago, after going from one doctor to another and years of pain and knowing that was not all in my head..
    My symptoms are starting to get worse..I have more bad days than good. My family don't understand..they see me on good days and don't know why one minute I can be a loving grandmother, mother and wife and the next day or a few hours later I can't move from the pain or I have a headache so bad I can't see straight.. I can't make any plans because I don't know how I am going to feel. I don't know how to explain this to my young grandchildren,they don't know why Gram can't do the things with them that Pap can.

    Having Fibro is a lonely place, family and friends don't understand the pain,fatigue,and frustration that you go through on a daily basis.

    Thank You all for listening .
  2. Copper2002

    Copper2002 New Member

    aboard, pegeo-pat!

    If you have the time, read through alot of theses posts. Just about EVERY question you were afraid to ask(of your doctor and others) about Fibro is answered, sometimes MANY times, on these fair pages.

    Great group of folks here. One warning, though. This board moves FASTER THAN FAST! You either need to be a speed reader, or patient(or both!) A post from today may have to be searched 3 or 4 pages back to find responses. Of course, you CAN use the search area to find a specific post/answers, but it's much more fun to search all the pages and see what else you've missed.

    Come here often, stay here long! There's much to be learned, and many things to help you and family cope.

    Hint: little kids are much more understanding than we give them credit for. If you give your grandkids a SIMPLE explanation about the effects of your illness, they'll not only be able to understand WHY you can't do things Pap can do, but will most likely be your advocate in helping others to understand! Gotta luv 'em!

    Good luck, Sister, you are ANYTHING but alone in this!
    Copper
    Let Miracles Replace ALL Grievances
  3. evileva

    evileva New Member

    You can learn alot on this board and make new friends at the same time. Read the articles on this site, it will also help. Good luck and hang in there.
    Eva
  4. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Hello Pat, so sorry you are having these problems, but believe me you are not alone!

    I have Fibro for 20 plus years, and have learned how to cope with people, family, friends and anyone I come in contact with now.

    Keep reading here, and do go back over some of the old posts too. We all have different ways of dealing with 'normals', some have some great ways, myself? I do get a little mean about it sometimes, just different personalities.

    Its sad but true, we need to put our self first, then we can deal with all the rest of the living world it seems. Took me a long time to conform to this, as I was one of those people who did not know how to say 'no', now I say 'no' before I find out what someone wants from me.

    I was invited to a wedding recently, I called and explained that I would be happy to attend, BUT if I was not well, I would not be there. They accepted this, and as it turned out, I did make the wedding, but I have had occasions when I could not.

    I know you will find a lot of support here at Pro Health, and no doubt make a lot of friends too.

    Again, welcome to the board.

    Shalom, Shirl
  5. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    I am about your age and have lost track of how many yrs. I have been battling this dd,going from denial to trying to understand and helping fm pts, to deal with these exact issues and so many others. I like you have just gotten worse and everytime I think I don`t give a hoot about what normals think, I slip and do the same thing again usually getting not to far. Most of us have shared all these feelings of lonliness of an invsible illness and how helpless we feel at times. Especially since most of us are type A personalities and used to having control of ourselves and our lives. You may never get them to get it and alot of times because we live in a selfish "me" world our families and friends may actually be angry at us, even though they are probably too ashamed to admit it. Just like us we want it to be the person we were and they do to. So we have to adjust our thinking because we can`t change others, no matter what anyone says it is very frustating at times. You will have to find your own comfort zone and they will just have to work around it, remember it is not your fault. There is a post on here what would you do if tomorrow you were well. It is very moving and you know then how much we want to be well. It is great insight on alot of peoples feelings. Don`t be hard on yourself we have enough to deal with just to take a shower,lol. <<<Warm Hugs>>>