Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mellow, Mar 31, 2003.

  1. mellow

    mellow New Member

    I thought it would be interesting to take a survey on children of ex-servicemen who saw action and the effect the war had on the men and subsequently how it may have affected children who later developed CFS/FM. My father served in the Navy during World War II. He was involved in a lot of action and was affected all his life by what he had seen and endured. He was 18 years old when he went to war. He was six years away. I was born 2 years after his return. He became an alcoholic and suffered very badly with "nerves". He couldn't stand noise and would often go off to his bedroom to get away from people (even family). He never really settled after the war and eventually started managing hotels (which didn't help with his drinking problem). We moved houses quite a bit and I can remember being anxious most of the time. Dad would arrive home drunk and there would always be fighting. He never hit Mum or us but I was always on edge wondering what was going to happen.Looking back I lived my life in a constant state of anxiety. I was always trying to do the right thing and was very shy. I was also touched sexually by an uncle who lived with us but I don't remember a lot about this. I guess I lived like this until I got married at 20 and moved away. I loved my father dearly and he was a different man for the last part of his life when he stopped drinking. I often wonder whether growing up like this could have something to do with the CFS/FM. Has anyone got any thoughts on this issue they would like to post? Would like to hear your stories. Hugs Mellow
  2. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    Add into that that my dad was molesting me on a regular basis at night, he would come into my room and a lot of inappropriate touching, foldling, no intercourse but a lot of icky stuff. There was much physical violence to my Mom from him, we would lay in bed at night and listen to the battering, name calling, it was horrible.
    Constant adrenaline, I hated my own home, that is an awful feeling. I still am not over that, I keep expecting my hubby come thru the door and be abusive. He would never but the fear never leaves you when you have experienced that growing up. My dad went to prison for it all (molestation charges, all 4 of us girls) The one who was 6 when it came out and my Mom filed charges was Candy, the 30 yr old sis now and the Mom of Cody that I have been raising for the past 5 yrs. He is just getting ready to go back & live with her this coming weekend.

    Sorry for all the rambling but I say yes, it definitely messes up your life and the ability to just live in peace, it is a hard thing to adjust to, the love & peace.

    Constant adrenaline (fear) is a subject we have discussed here before and many can relate.

  3. paula45

    paula45 New Member

    My dad was in the Air Force for 21 years in the 40's thru early 60's. For a time, we lived on Kwajalein in the Marshall Islands and my mother tells me we used to sit out at night and watch the testing of atomic bombs across the water. It's a wonder I don't glow in the dark!! I too was abused as a child, but not by my father....crazy uncle and cousin. Spent 15 years in therapy to deal with that. The service connection is interesting to me.
  4. phenom

    phenom New Member

    my father saw active service in the vietnam war. my childhood was one of constant anxiety and i now have PTSD from his emotional abuse. he never hit us, but i wished he would, so that people would believe he was hurting us. he is much better now, still very aggressive, but i love him dearly - nothing in my past could change it. i'm glad i had him as a father, because it has shaped who i am today (i'm thinking of the good bits, not the depressive anxious bits).

    it seems like he and i have always been in pain. i had a sister die when she was little to a hole in her heart. a lot of servicemen have children with problems. and most of us are pretty f**ked up (excuse my french).