New to board, looking for new friends

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by bandwoman, Aug 26, 2006.

  1. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I have been basically reading this board for a couple of weeks. I have replied only a few times. I am trying to get my feet wet now. So here goes. Many of you seem so warm and encouraging. That is what I am looking for and hopefully can be those things to you too.

    I just recently experienced the loss of a very close friend which is one I thought I could confide in and I thought understood my fibro. Well I was wrong. I guess this whole year of emailing on a daily basis was only making her more and more impatient with my health problems. Our friendship is severed now. It has been almost a month and I am still in so much pain over this loss. Her email to me was so unbelievably cruel for someone who I thought was very compassionate and understanding. My Dad died last summer and she was the one who loveingly helped me through this. How someone can be so different than you thought is still a mystery to me.

    I guess it is hard to expect anyone to really understand what we go through unless they are going through it themselves. I don't have time for a fibro support group as my scheudle is pretty nuts. Anyway I just wanted to say hi to all of you.

    Love,
    Nancy
  2. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    Welcome to the board. I don't do a lot of posting myself unless I'm feeling good enough to type. I'm really sorry to hear about your best friend dumping you like that. I am lucky in that my best friend has CFS but only has flares every now and then. My mom didn't understand till she started taking me to my doctors appointments and my ex didn't understand till he did some research on the computer about it. We all deal with the ones that say that it's all in our heads like we enjoy living our lives this way. Anyways once again welcome to the board and I hope you have a lot of positive responses..........SueF
  3. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate it very much. Have a good weekend. I am getting ready to go to one of my favorite breakfast places that serves a dynamite kish. I am also on a mission. Have high hopes of getting back into juicing as I have read several different articles about getting cured from fatigue and fibro. Making a trip out of town to the Whole Foods store. Take care.



    Love,
    Nancy
  4. toughone

    toughone New Member

    I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. I have lost family because of Fibro. My husband's brothers, their wives and his parents have decided that I'm no longer 'useful' for gatherings. I am left out, even by my husband. My own family (parents, brother, sis) believes 'the pain can't be that bad'. My only support are my kids--they are always there for me.

    The good news is that everyone here on this board is friendly, caring and willing to reach out to someone in need. I am so thankful I have found them. They have made a wonderful difference in my life.

    So, when you feel the need for that special support that only fellow sufferers can give, come here. Everyone listens and helps.

    Hope you have a great weekend...

    Bonny
  5. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I am sorry that you have been through this too and even with your own family. I don't think my family really gets it either but my mom is understanding after finding a good buddy on a chat room that also has fibro. Thanks for your encouragement. I just have a big hole in my heart right now and am trying to find my way. I hope I can start to feel at home here as there are many very kind people out there and guess what......YOU are one of them. Have a good weekend.

    PS I am an animal lover too. I have a 14 year old cat who is my baby!!!!!

    Love,
    Nancy
  6. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    ....to the board, Nancy.

    It's sad about your friend but that's what happens sometimes. Good that she was there for you last year, though. I really do try to limit what I say about how I feel in email, even to CFS friends, and keep the griping here (lucky you - lol) because it can get depressing to both people.

    Marta
  7. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    It is nice to know that this support is here when you need it. This experience with this friend has made me want to keep my lips sealed forever but of course I know that is not healthy. I hope you have a great weekend. Thanks again.


    Another,
    Nancy
  8. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Nancy:

    Welcome!

    You are right: some people just get 'turned off' by our illness. I can not even count the number of 'friends' I lost.

    My main outlet for the problems I have are here on the board.

    My sister will tolerate it in metered doses, but I spare her since she has illness of her own.

    What is nice is that you can talk about anything here.
    Now that you have your feet wet: join in.

    That is how I started a few months back.

    nyrofan
  9. kellygirl

    kellygirl Member

    in as much as I have found the people are truly caring and empathetic. They seem to really want to help each other.

    A good bunch of people! Welcome!

    Patti
  10. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I have pretty much kept my illness a secret from most of the people I know. I guess that is what hurts the most when you think you found someone that really cared. I am moving on and I think this board will be a great help for me. Thanks for welcoming me. I hope to visit the board as much as I have time. Have a great weekend.

    Nancy
  11. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I think you are right about one of the healthier ones. My mom went on a fibro chat room and she told me how depressing it was and not to go on it. Of course that was not this website. I agree that this seems very healthy. My mom has made some great friends the last couple of years with her trivia chat and I didn't think I would ever be doing this but here I am. Thanks again for welcoming me. It does mean a great deal to know you all are out there. Have a great weekend.


    Nancy
  12. angellwolffe

    angellwolffe New Member

    Hi i to have lost friends because of this. Also i to am in illinois. hope to talk to ya more soon.

    Angell
  13. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I am from the Chicago area too....far west suburb. Hope to talk more. Thanks for writing. It is nice to know that others have been through this before. See ya


    Nancy
  14. angellwolffe

    angellwolffe New Member

    hi again Nancy, i'm in the far NW suburbs up by the state line. there are several ppl here from our area.

    Angell
  15. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    That is good to know. I imagine there are thousands of us around here but we just don't know who they are. I am getting ready to go out so talk later.

    Nancy
  16. willruthie1965

    willruthie1965 New Member

    Nancy
    Honestly you do lose alot with this illness, MY hubby was sick first like 7 years ago,and I didn't support him at all like I should have.Yeah I worked and cleaned and he had to quit his job. Just didn't believe how terrible it was. Forward 6 years later, I Got sick!

    Good news YOu gain alot I think Being sick had made me nore patient and loving toward people. YOu get new friends who may or may not be sick , You may even get friends who aren't sick but our in health careers and know about this illness.

    What I did {Even with my kids} is didn't talk to them about it. The older one wasn't so supportive of me.Or just got the feeling he thought I was weak or acting like his dad. Anytime you post one of your new friends will reach out I PROMISE Ruthie
  17. willruthie1965

    willruthie1965 New Member

    Nancy
    Honestly you do lose alot with this illness, MY hubby was sick first like 7 years ago,and I didn't support him at all like I should have.Yeah I worked and cleaned and he had to quit his job. Just didn't believe how terrible it was. Forward 6 years later, I Got sick!

    Good news YOu gain alot I think Being sick had made me nore patient and loving toward people. YOu get new friends who may or may not be sick , You may even get friends who aren't sick but our in health careers and know about this illness.

    What I did {Even with my kids} is didn't talk to them about it. The older one wasn't so supportive of me.Or just got the feeling he thought I was weak or acting like his dad. Anytime you post one of your new friends will reach out I PROMISE Ruthie
  18. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member

    Dear Nancy:

    So sorry that you have lost someone who you thought was such a good friend. Unfortunately, many of us know what you are going through, and it is not fun.

    I used to live in the Barrington, IL area. I went to school at UW-Wisconsin at Whitewater and worked for my uncle in the medical field in the Chicago area for a few years. That was way back in the mid 1980s. I am considering a move back to that area...Island Lake is where I would like to move now. I have cousins (more like brother and sister) who are married and have kids and live in Island Lake and Cary. My uncle still lives in North Barrington. I think it would be such a better life for me and my 7 year old daughter. We currently live in a town about 30 miles south of LA, and it is just getting to be too difficult.

    You will get over the loss of this friend, it will be hard, but you will do it. Perhaps you can find friends here to replace her. I understand that on-line friends are different that the fleshy ones, but you would be surprised at the level of support you get here.

    Good luck, and so glad you found us.

    Ingrid
  19. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I love your name. It is very soothing. I saw your little dog, what a cutie pie. I have a cat who is 14 now and is my baby. She rules the house of course. I have also had a cervical fusion. It is fun finding all of you "new" friends. Today was a surprise hearing from several of you after my post was bumpted to the second page. I heard from several new friends yesterday. Hope to be talking more and getting to know all of you too. I work during the week so my weekends will probalby be my time on the board. Great to hear from you and thanks.

    Nancy
  20. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    Good to hear from you. I have had FM for over 16 and pretty much kept it to myself until just a couple of years ago and then only to a very, very few who I thought would understand. After this loss of friendship I am inclined to go back to lips sealed but I know that is not healthy. I hope this board can be my release and support and I hope to be an encouragement to all of you too. Thanks for writing. Hope to get to know you all alot better. I will probably be on the board more on weekends as my weekday scheudle is pretty nuts. Have a great rest of the weekend.

    Nancy