New to board- PLS HELP

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lizi, Oct 8, 2002.

  1. lizi

    lizi New Member

    Hi to all,
    I have been looking for a supportive and informative message board for a while. This is the first one I have felt comfortable with. I have severe fatigue, so it's hard for me to read all the messages that come in, but I try to keep up as best I can.
    I have had CFS/FM for years. I got really bad when I was 35 for about three years. I slowly got better and was able to return to work, but I had to rest most of the time I wasn't working. I have just lived with the pain and really tried to deny that I had this illness - cause I don't want it!!
    In October 2000, I got married to a man I thought would be with me forever - the love of my life. In November 2000, I got sick with nephrotic syndrome, went into acute renal failure, had to be on massive doses of cortisone for 10 months and then a chemo drug for two months. I got the shingles and now have post herpetic neuralgia, not to mention the FM pain. I have not been able to work since I became ill that November. My fatigue is outragious!! By the next summer, my husband completely abandoned me physically, emotionally, mentally. He couldn't handle my being so sick. I had to lie around most of the time. I don't know, maybe he thought I was lazy. I have been diagnosed with FM/CFS by an infectious disease specialist, 2 rheumatologists, and internal medicine specialist, and a doctor of physical medicine. My husband was so cruel, when I was on the chemo, he wouldn't even offer to fix me a glass of water, so my Mom came and got me.
    I am 45, I have lost my health, my job, my home, my marriage (my husband divorced me this year),my life, my self-esteem, not to mention the suffering I have been through. I moved back home to live with my parents in March. My depression has been severe.
    Well, I have to face the fact that I have this and it's not getting any better. I live in Mississippi and have found a support group in Jackson, MS. I know that knowledge is power, and the more I can learn, the more I can help myself. I have filed for disability, and am waiting on a hearing date.
    Does anyone here know of a doctor in Mississippi that specialises in CFS/FM? All my doctors have been great and suggest the basic things I read on the net and newletters, etc. I have just got to get better. I don't have much money, and if I don't get SSD, I don't know what I will do. My kidneys are in remission right now, but I am at risk for a relapse and possible renal failure.
    Any suggestions would be appreciated. I feel like I have lost my life and want so much to get it back.
    Being so fatigued and having to rest so much is truly frustrating and boring and I feel helpless and hopeless so much of the time.
    Thanks for listening, I know this is long!
    God bless you all,
    Lizi
  2. lizi

    lizi New Member

    Hi to all,
    I have been looking for a supportive and informative message board for a while. This is the first one I have felt comfortable with. I have severe fatigue, so it's hard for me to read all the messages that come in, but I try to keep up as best I can.
    I have had CFS/FM for years. I got really bad when I was 35 for about three years. I slowly got better and was able to return to work, but I had to rest most of the time I wasn't working. I have just lived with the pain and really tried to deny that I had this illness - cause I don't want it!!
    In October 2000, I got married to a man I thought would be with me forever - the love of my life. In November 2000, I got sick with nephrotic syndrome, went into acute renal failure, had to be on massive doses of cortisone for 10 months and then a chemo drug for two months. I got the shingles and now have post herpetic neuralgia, not to mention the FM pain. I have not been able to work since I became ill that November. My fatigue is outragious!! By the next summer, my husband completely abandoned me physically, emotionally, mentally. He couldn't handle my being so sick. I had to lie around most of the time. I don't know, maybe he thought I was lazy. I have been diagnosed with FM/CFS by an infectious disease specialist, 2 rheumatologists, and internal medicine specialist, and a doctor of physical medicine. My husband was so cruel, when I was on the chemo, he wouldn't even offer to fix me a glass of water, so my Mom came and got me.
    I am 45, I have lost my health, my job, my home, my marriage (my husband divorced me this year),my life, my self-esteem, not to mention the suffering I have been through. I moved back home to live with my parents in March. My depression has been severe.
    Well, I have to face the fact that I have this and it's not getting any better. I live in Mississippi and have found a support group in Jackson, MS. I know that knowledge is power, and the more I can learn, the more I can help myself. I have filed for disability, and am waiting on a hearing date.
    Does anyone here know of a doctor in Mississippi that specialises in CFS/FM? All my doctors have been great and suggest the basic things I read on the net and newletters, etc. I have just got to get better. I don't have much money, and if I don't get SSD, I don't know what I will do. My kidneys are in remission right now, but I am at risk for a relapse and possible renal failure.
    Any suggestions would be appreciated. I feel like I have lost my life and want so much to get it back.
    Being so fatigued and having to rest so much is truly frustrating and boring and I feel helpless and hopeless so much of the time.
    Thanks for listening, I know this is long!
    God bless you all,
    Lizi
  3. Kathryn

    Kathryn New Member

    Hi Lizi,
    You are in the right place. Folks here are WONDERFUL and won't let you down just when you need them most. Congratulations on getting rid of that jerk of a husband. A man like that is the kind that will probably turn out to be physically abusive, and you sure don't need that. The emotional abuse he heaped on you was certainly bad enough. You are lucky to have parents able to help you and who obviously love you enough to do so. That is a big part of working your way out of your depression. There is a brighter future for you, it will just take you awhile to find it. Try your best to think of one good thing in your life each day, and soon (well, maybe not soon, but someday) you will have more to be happy about than not. It is really important with these problems to find and keep a firm hold on your sense of humor. You are the only person who can let depression win, and you are also the only person who can beat it. With the love and support of your family and friends you can do it.
    Best of luck to you,
    Kathryn
  4. JP

    JP New Member

    Hello Lizi,

    I can't answer your questions and I can welcome you to the board. I have been here for about 3 months and have found this to be a very supportive place. Loss is painful and I can tell by your words that you are a survivor.

    Take care of yourself and keep posting.

    Jan
  5. poodlegirl

    poodlegirl New Member

    You have really had it rough, both physically and emotionally. I don't have any answers for you (about the docs in your area), but I feel like we on this board can really help you get thru the bad times. Keep reading and posting. I have learned alot and this board has helped me.
  6. debrastets

    debrastets New Member

    I am so sorry you have gone threw so much! I have lost all my friends; so many people dont understand what we go threw! Dont give up! I was bad and had to get help! I am still having hard time and trying to live with this!Its so hard and you need all the suport you can get ! I am 51 and divorce and went from a great paying job to nothing! MY faimly has taken care of me now for a year and dont know what i would have done without them. My frist ssd check will be in nov. and and wont have to count on my faimly doing without for me! GOD BLESS YOU! WE will make it togather!
  7. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    you are in the right place, this board has saved me, I swear. I have no idea what I would do without it. I have learned so much here & this is where I look for all of my support, info, etc. I get clues out of the posts that send me searching in all directions, it keeps me going, Fills my time, that and the news! These people here have so much knowledge and we are always here for each other. Mikie the moderator is great, full of great input, count your blessings, sounds like it is your parents mostly. For me I have to try & focus on what it is I can do, my whole life has changed also, if I get some more energy later on tonight or tomorrow I will hunt down the post that ran a little while ago about what we all have gained, personally it has been a whole new perspective & a lot more time with my loving hubby & wonderful 8 yo son, they have shown me that love is all that matters, I also had a career I loved but I find much more reward in my true friendships with only a few people these days, my world is very small. It is very real though, that is a God thing.

    Best wishes & as they say in AA, keep coming back it works!

    Jaci
  8. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    You'll get tons of good advice and information here! You are blessed to have your family, too. One thing...no matter how lousy you feel, GO to that support group you found in Jackson! This on-line support is a lifesaver, but I've found that the idea of getting out & meeting face to face with real people who really understand what you are going through is great therapy. I just found a local group, and it's made a big difference in my whole outlook. I would've just hibernated before, it's easy to do with this diagnosis & how horrid we all feel all the time. Good luck to you, Lizi & try to stay positive (hard for us all...)

    Hugs,
    Pam
  9. allhart

    allhart New Member

    my prayers are with you everything you lost will evetually be replaced by better things including your rotten husband just worrie about keeping your self as healthy as possible
  10. pamela

    pamela New Member

    Your husband sounds like my first 2 deadbeat hubbies. Thank God the first one ran around on me so I could finally leave (not to mention the abuse in ALL ways...I was scared for my life). The second husband ran around from day one. He finally left because he could not understand why I was so fatigued and in pain and he just did not want to be married--he liked the girlie bars if you know what I mean. Anyway I can relate to your past!!!!!! It sucks!!! But it does get better. Those kind of men get what's coming to them ALWAYS!!!! What goes around comes around!!! Now I am married to a wonderful guy who really does help me and understands what I am going through. I can't believe your husband would not get you water. That is more than a jerk, there is no word for his abuse to you...and what he really is. I had the same thing with both of my exes. Just hang in there and if you ever get a chance to date again, go for a different type of guy. It does work dating completely diff. people than you use to. That is what I did. Also, read self-help books and always tell yourself you are MUCH BETTER OFF W/OUT THAT JERK!!!! Love and Hugs!!! Pamela