My boyfriends mom has had altzheimers for 10 years. She does not speak, cannot walk, cannot feed herself, she has a permanent catheter, wears a diaper. Her legs are contracted and can hardly stand when pulled up. My heart goes out to him because he has been taking care of her through the 10 years and has been thru every stage of this disease. I need advice on how to deal with talking to him without him getting mad in reference to his mom. He says that she knows who he is and understands everything that is said to her. I never knew his mom so I don't have that relationship with her. He gets mad at me because i don't always talk to her. She doesn't respond and most of the time stares into space. I help him feed her and extended my home to him and her for a change in environment for her. The problem is I have 2 kids 16 yr old daughter and 8 year old son. It is uncomfortable for my 16 year old when she is at my home. She has a permanent catheter and a bag. I don't want to be mean but he just lets the bag hang when she sits in our family room and no one wants to come in the family room because they are uncomfortable. He also brought her in my pool and let the bag float next to her and it was uncomfortable being in the pool with her. He has a live in take care of her 24/7 but has to relieve her on occasion for the weekends. I cannot imagine what he goes through but I have my own responsiblities being a single mom and taking care of a home. I need advice on how to speak to him about being more discreet when he brings her to my home. He empty's her bag into a bottle on my living room floor not in the bathroom. Can someone tell me if I am being insensitive???