NEW TO BOARD

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by NewEnglander, Mar 13, 2003.

  1. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    HI EVERYONE
    SO GLAD I'M NOT ALONE IN THIS FRIBO AND FATUGUE STATE THAT I LIVE IN. BUT AM SAD THAT OTHERS HAVE TO LIVE IT AS WELL.
    LET ME JUST TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MYSELF. I LIVE IN MASSACHUSETTES AND AM 42 YRS OLD. I HAVE HAD THIS SICKNESS SINCE I WAS 29 AFTER A HUGE CAR WRECK. I WAS ACTUALLY IN 3 CAR ACCIDENTS IN THE COURSE OF 2 YEARS. LET ME JUST SAY I WAS NEVER THE DRIVER. SO I HAVE LIVED WITH PAIN IN MY BACK. SHOULDERS, ARMS AND NECK. IT WAS NOTHING A LITTLE MOTRIN AND HEATING PAD COULDN'T HANDLE. I WORKED FULL TIME AND RAISED 2 BOYS, STILL RAISING ONE. I DEALT WITH PAIN BUT HAD NO ADEA IT WAS FIBRO AND DIDN'T HAVE THIS FATIGUE THAT I HAVE NOW. ANYWAY TWO YEARS AGO I FELL AND HIT THE BACK OF MY HEAD ON THE ICE IN MY DRIVEWAY. SINCE THEN I HAVE GOTTEN SO MUCH WORSE, THE PAIN HAD SPREAD THROUGH OUT MY BODY, THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I CAN'T WALK OR EVEN USE MY HANDS. I'M ON DIFFERENT MEDS. FEXERIL, SERZONE, KLONOPIN, AND VIOXX SOON I WILL BE ON SM CONTON. I DON'T WORK AND STRUGGLE WITH FLARE UPS ALL THE TIME. MY PROBLEM IS NOBODY ACEPTS MY ILLNESS, ITS LIKE THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME OR SOMETHING. I LET PEOPLE KNOW MY LIMITATIONS AND YET THEY STILL ASK ME THINGS LIKE "COULD YOU DRIVE ME TO BOSTON" OR "GO SPEND THE DAY AT THE CAPE". HELLOOO I DON'T DRIVE ANYMORE, WELL MAYBE TO THE CORNER. PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL ME I LOOK OK, WELL THAT'S NICE BUT PAIN IS INVISIBLE. I CAN'T BE OUT IN THE RAIN OR VERY COLD WEATHER (FLARE UPS).. I CAN'T SHOVEL, I'M NOT LAZY. I DON'T SKI EVEN THOUGH I'M 2 MINUTES FROM THE MOUNTAIN. I USE TO TEACH AROBICS BUT NOW I'M LIFTING SOUP CANS FOR EXERCISE. I'M AFRAID TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS, I CAN'T MAKE PLANS TO DO THINGS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL FEEL. THE SADDEST THING ABOUT THIS ILLNESS IS THAT I FEEL SO ALONE AND SOMETIME AM VERY SPACEY AND REFUSE TO BE CALLED SPACE CADET. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. I FEEL VERY GUILTY THAT I DON'T WORK ANYMORE AND MY HUSBAND IS NOT HAPPY WITH THIS, I DO RECIEVE BENEFITS FROM SSI AND AM ASHAMED. I KNOW PEOPLE THINK I'M LAZY BUT I MISS WORKING SO MUCH. I'M ALWAYS BEING TOLD THAT I LOOK GOOD AND HAVE THAT GOING FOR ME AND MY HUSBAND TELLS ME TO STAY BEAUTIFUL AND I WILL HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. HELLO I'M 42,...SO WHAT HAPPENS IN A COUPLE OF YEARS WHEN I'M OLDER. AM I BEING TOLD I'LL HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER AS MY LOOKS FADE. WELL I JUST WANT TO SAY THINGS COULD BE WORST AND THINGS COULD BE BETTER. SOME TIMES THE PAIN IS SO BAD I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP. NO ONE KNOWS HOW AFRAID AND CONFUSED I CAN GET. BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO COUNT MY BLESSINGS LIKE WE ALL SHOULD AND THANK GOD FOR WHAT WE HAVE. LOOKS MEAN NOTHING, IT IS HOW YOU FEEL MENTALY AND PHYSICALY. I KNOW THAT I SOUND LIKE A REAL DOWNER BUT WOULD LIKE TO HELP OTHERS FEEL BETTER ON THIS BOARD AND GIVE SOME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT WHEN I CAN. WHAT A WICKED LONG WINTER, I HOPE WE CAN ALL FEEL BETTER IN THE SPRING. SORRY THIS LETTER WAS SO LONG BUT NEEDED TO TYPE IT. TODAY WAS A BETTER DAY FOR ME.
    GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY
    LISA
  2. tandy

    tandy New Member

    Wow! you did type alot!!a pat on the back for you!!LOL
    Your post sounds like alot of us!! Glad to meet you~
    I relate to everything you've said! I miss work too,but alot of friends/family think I CAN work~ They've even read off job adds in the local newspaper to me!!Do these people think we want to be this way??God if they could just last one month in our shoes!Its mean to say but,Don't ya wish these non-beleivers could have our symptoms for a week or two!!LOL I've had FM for 10 yrs now~It hit me at the ripe age of 30. I have 3 kids,one grown and two small ones at home,ages 10 and 6. Its tough to do all the Mom things for our children.I try my best,but I still feel their missing out on alot~ I am still very thankful and feel blessed.....through it all!!
    Glad to see you here- where we all KNOW and feel your pain!
    Hope to talk more~
    Warm regards,
    Tracey
  3. djd

    djd New Member

    I was diagnosed with FM a couple of months ago. I didn't/refused to believe my doctor at first because I had frequently helped people with FM. How could I get it if I was using the same products that helped them? (I had a 100% success rate with a product called far-infrared) I think I know why I got it. I wasn't taking care of myself or doing the things I was telling others to do- like reduce stress. God allowed this to happen to me because it has stopped me dead cold. Can't work, play with my kids etc etc.
    I was wondering when you said "..continue to count my blessings and thank God for what we have" if you really meant it. I say things like that to sound positive but the truth is I am really angry!
    I can't seem to work past the emotional issues so I can get to the point that I'm doing things to help me get better: journaling, yoga, meditation etc. I am so depressed. I feel like I have had my dreams ripped right out from under me.
    It's encouraging to me in a way to see the support here but I'm not for sure I can live like this.
    Good luck and my prayers go out to all of you.
  4. jeanderek

    jeanderek New Member

    Welcome to the board. I have had a hard time getting people to understand as well. Since we all look fine people automatically think we feel fine. What is bad is everyone has a cure "if you would only get out more" "see a chiropractor" "excercise" "do yoga" IF THERE WAS A CURE I WOULD KNOW IT!! I get so sick of trying to explain this to people. Sometimes that ones that are the closest to you are the hardest to convenice. They think we can just keep right on going doing the things we once could. I wish there was a day that was "normal" where I felt like I had my old life back. Just know Lisa, we all know what your going through. I am 29 and I have been in this pain for five years. I have done everything that my doctor has told me to do and then some and still most days I am in considerable pain. I am now going to pain management and taking oxycontin-neurontin-robaxin for pain. BEWARE of the serzone, there have been problems with it (liver failure). My doctor put me on it and I had hallucinations! I hope that you get to feeling better and your in the right place. Everyone here is very supportive and understanding because we are all going through the same thing. Best wishes

    hugs,
    Jeanna
  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Hi Lisa, welcome to our world. You have been through a whole lot of this too it seems.

    Yes, the people that judge by your looks are the worst! I hear that often, 'you don't look sick, you don't look your age, you are not overweight, how could you be too sick to do this and that?'.

    I have had Fibro for 20 plus years now, and I have learned to eliminate the 'toxic' people out of my life. They are no help, and a whole lot of hindrance. I will eliminate stress in everyway I can.

    My huband finally came around to understanding as much as anyone can that does not have this illness, my daughter stayed on the fence a little longer.
    To her mind I was just tired of all the commitments I was so accustom to, that I was finding 'excuses' not to do this and that anymore!
    Well she realizes now that that is not the case, I am truly sick and not able to do all those things I used to do without even given them a second thought. We are getting along just fine.

    My two son's never doubted my word, if I said I hurt, they took my word for it.

    As for friends, I simply eliminated all those who caused me stress. I moved to the country, and got Caller ID! To me that is the best invention since sliced bread.

    Good to have you join us, and you will find the people here are very helpful, considerate and willing to help in anyway they can. We all are sick, some less that others, but all sick just the same.

    Oh, one thing I would like to ask, if you can please type in lower case, we have some members here that can't read well with all capitals. If your eyes bother you, then do the best you can and we will try to read it anyway! Alright?

    Again, welcome to the board, and very glad to have you with us.

    Shalom, Shirl

  6. Mewsley

    Mewsley New Member

    Hi. I just discovered this site and it is wonderful. I have all the symptoms of fibro. I am afraid to tell my doctor has my last visit he wanted to send me to a therapist. I have been like this for 6 months now. The worst is the dizziness and stiffness in the mornings. I have been doing my own research and have been surprised how many people are suffering also. Roberta