Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by janellearroyo5, Oct 5, 2009.

  1. janellearroyo5

    janellearroyo5 New Member

    i am new here and i have the worst pain ever. i was diagnosed about 10 years ago with fibro. and have been put on disability because of that and the depression.
    i want to be healthy and happy and yet i can't. i try so hard but it is impossible. first off i feel like killing myself because i can't take the pain anymore. every medicine i take lasts for so long and then it comes crashing down.
    i get so depressed because i just want my life back--to work, and to have no more pain. i try an exercise but it is impossible..i clean the house every day and that puts me in massive amounts of pain.
    my daughter is in soccer and it takes everything i have to get to her games. i always miss her practices and scrimages. it pisses me off so bad.
    i used to work at least 50 hours per week, take care of my daughter, clean, get the groceries done and had no problems. now i just sit here in pain and complain all the time it makes me cry.
  2. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Hi Janelle!
    Welcome! I'm glad you find your way here - although I'm sorry that you had to! Please remember you're not alone. You'll find people here understand just what you're going through - we've all been madder than hell at the limitations we sometime have, the pain, the changes and different directions our lives have taken.

    Do you have a good Dr.? Do you see a regular Dr. or do you go to pain management?
    Are you on a long acting medication? I know for me and many of us that makes a huge difference. I know that no medication will completely take away all of our pain, but the long acting takes away the peaks and valleys of the short acting.

    The guilt is one of the worst feelings - missing our kids things, complaining, not getting everything done like we used to. Easier said than done, but you HAVE to get rid of that feeling. It's such a worthless emotion. You CANNOT control what is happening to your body.
    You're doing the best you can.

    Have you considered or are you already talking to a therapist/psychiatrist? Your depression definitely needs addressing immediately. Killing yourself is NOT an option! All you would do is transfer your pain to your daughter tenfold! You would never want to do that to her, would you?

    You need to get out of some of the pain, get some help with the depression, be thankful you're not working 50 hrs a week, find some small things that bring you some joy - no matter how small.
    Do you have a support system?

    Guess what? You do here!!! =)

  3. janellearroyo5

    janellearroyo5 New Member

    thank you for the advice. i see my shrink on wednesday; and i just got put on lyrica. it is helping, for the time being. that is the problem i get soemthing that works for a little bit and than back to the pain again. i can't do simple things like cleaning my house or having the energy too. walking which i love to do but when i am in bad pain i can't even move.

    thanks for the talk i appreciate it and i will be in touch.
  4. TigerLilea

    TigerLilea Active Member

    Hi Janelle - Welcome to the board. As you posted this message three times, you might want to delete the other two so that everyone's responses are in the same thread. It makes it easier for everyone, including yourself, to follow :)
  5. Nanie46

    Nanie46 Moderator

    Hi and welcome!

    The key to recovery is finding the CAUSE of your illness.

    Unfortunately, Dr's give us a label like FMS or CFS which has "no known cause".

    Well, everything has a cause, you just have to find it.

    It is likely that the cause of your symptoms is infectious.

    It is very probable that the cause of your illness is tick borne infections.

    Many people with CFS or FMS later found out they really have a chronic borrelia burgdorferi infection (lyme) and common associated coinfections like babesia, bartonella, ehrlichia, etc.

    After 21 years with a FMS diagnosis, I found through my own research that the cause of my illness was chronic lyme and coinfections.

    99% of Dr's do not know how to recognize, diagnose or treat chronic lyme and coinfections.

    You may have even had a "lyme test" which was negative (they usually are) followed by a proclaimation that you do not have lyme.

    Dr's are really missing the boat....they are not seeing the BIG picture.

    Please read this could change your life.....symptom list p 9-11.....coinfection info p 22-27......

    I have heard your story over and over again......ticks are everywhere. You do not need to remember a tick bite or a rash....most don't.

    Go to on flash discussion.....sign up for on medical questions your story/symptoms and ask for opinions......lots of intelligent people there to help you.

    You do not need to suffer for the rest of your life....but you will have to do the research yourself to find the cause.
  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    So sorry you are having so much pain, and have a young child as well. I have been there and know how you feel. My children are all grown now, but I sure went through some tough times with three children with this pain.

    When you do your housework, take breaks often, lay down with a heating pad for at least a half hour at a time. Then do more. That is the only way I got through it all.

    I tried the exercise too, a Nordic Track, which was not so bad, it did help somewhat. Walking on the ground (not concrete!), is also a help.

    I hope you fine some ways to help yourself, its not a nice thing to live with. I also get CFS along with the FM pain, and that puts me in the bed for days. There is no fighting that CFS!

    Yes, I would like my old life back too, it would be nice to wake up and have no pain, or tiredness once in awhile!

    Take care, try and do small things at a time, rest, and do not get discouraged! You are young and pray God they find a cure for these horrible diseases!

    Again, welcome to the board, and I do hope you find some answers.

    Shalom, Shirl

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