Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Wolfdragon, Oct 4, 2006.

  1. Wolfdragon

    Wolfdragon New Member

    Hi all,

    I am a 50 year old male who has been diagnosed with FM. It was a shock to my wife and I that I would have it. In 1999 I was in a severe car crash. I almost had to relearn how to walk. I walked for several years with a cane and 2 years ago I gave it up. Today I am in alot of pain. I went to my Dr and she said I had FM. Of course she pushed on my back and I about jumped to the ceiling. She hit almost every place that I am very sensitive to pain. There are a couple of things that really bother me. One is that I am always tired. No I don't sleep well as I can never find a good position that relieves the pain. the second is that I have extream pain on my entire left side. Some times it is all I can do to not just sit here and cry. It frustrates me that I can not do what I used to. You see I work a 40 hour week and then I come home to tend my herd of cattle. I work on my land with my tractor and haul my hay. I am extreamly strong doing this kind of work. Except for the last 6 or so years. I am still strong, but I feel weaker. I cant lift as long as I used to. I can't do much of anything like I used to, including sleep. It just gets worse every year. I am not on any pain pills. I am on Cymbalta and pregnasone. My Dr is trying to treat me for sleep apnea, But I am a stubborn old man and I don't believe in it. I know what is keeping me awake, but my Dr doesn't seem to believe me. She thinks it is sleep apnea. Anyhow, Does anyone else have problems with just one side of their body that hurts real bad? Yes I have a small problem with the right side, but it is not as intense as the left. Also is anyone out there always sleepy? I know that if I sit in my rocking chair it is all over for me. I will sleep for 3 or 4 hours, sometimes more, and then get up and go to bed. I normally go to bed around 9 pm and most nights I am lucky if I get to sleep by 11 am. I will then drift in and out of sleep all night. I get up at 4 am and then go to work 70 miles away, come home and do chores, work on the tractor, or what ever needs to be done. I have been known to fall asleep at work from time to time. Yes I get laughed at and I get ridiculed for it. I do know that my job is in jeapordy and I am always in trouble. I have used a lot of sick days and leave just coping with this problem. Any answers or advice out there? I am getting tired of the pain, the spasms, the fire in the muscles, the needles and all the other problems that crop up along the way. And if your wondering, yes I still do all the lifting I used. Pain or no pain it all has to be done. I keep working till I can no longet lift an arm or a leg. My wife has been known to come help me in the house when I fail to show up. Also, no it is not an option to get rid of the ranch. It is my retirement plan and my piddling around thing to do when I am retired. I don't plan on having to take another job. My small ranch will be my job and what keeps me sane. I refuse to be a greeter at Wally World
  2. spacee

    spacee Member

    It is late in some parts so you probably won't get many answers tonite. I don't have any of your symptoms since I have CFS. But there is ALOT of info from people here and I hope and pray it comes your way. In at first you don't succeed...keep trying! The right person will come along and help.

    Best to you,


  3. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    First of all I have to are remarkable. I do not see how you do it all.

    Sad thing is that we make it worse by pushing. Many things we can work out of, but not fibro. Plus I bet you have some other issues, because of accident.

    I pushed for a long time and all of a sudden I could not anymore. Sleep apnea? My DH has it. He has became a whole new man by it being treated. Yes it can affect you in different ways and is dangerous if not treated. Please at least get it checked out. My hubby is so glad that he did.

    Read the article by Rick Carson, our founder of ProHealth and this site. You can find it in a search here.

    I did not take anything for yrs. Nothing seemed to help, etc. But things are changing and we do have more knowledge and better meds. Cymbalta is helping me some. I really notice it if I do not take it. Not a cure all, but helps. I went to a Rheumy that gave me shots in my trigger spots and for first time I accepted sleep aids.

    His method is to releive the bad pain spots and get proper DEEP rest and you feel better. This is true. We Fibromites do not get the deep sleep we need for healing.

    Notice my many paragraphs, well we also have eye problems here and long postings without breaks is sometimes hard to read, if not impossible. Words jump around.

    So much I could say, but I will leave it for the more skilled posters. Will be back another time.

    Welcome to our board......stick with us. Ask anything you want. Many Blessings to you and your wife......Susan
  4. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    On the Fringes: Men and Fibromyalgia
    by Sheshe Giddens


    Reproduced with permission from The Fibromyalgia Connection, the newsletter of the Fibromyalgia Association of Houston, Inc.*

    Although Fibromyalgia falls into a category of diseases and syndromes that disproportionately affect women, Fibromyalgia isn’t a woman’s disease.

    One in eight FM patients is male. This number may not be a true reflection of how prevalent FM is in the male population because of the very nature of the syndrome. FM often goes undiagnosed for long periods of time, and some sufferers do not receive a proper diagnosis at all. This, coupled with the fact that men are less likely to seek medical help, means that it is possible that there are far more men with FM than reported.

    [For example, the first-ever large population-based analysis of U.S. Fibromyalgia incidence, based on insurance claim records for a population of 62,000 adult enrollees from 1997 to 2002, indicates the female to male mix is about 1.64 to 1.00, or 62 percent/38 percent. Go to the archive for more information on this analysis, at]

    Although not all men have difficulty getting the proper referral and diagnosis because they are men, the perception that Fibromyalgia is a disease that primarily affects women may also hinder men from receiving a proper diagnosis.

    “It took 15 years, 12 doctors, and hearing over and over that there was nothing wrong with me. Two doctors said that if I were a woman, they would say it was FM. This was before a doctor actually diagnosed me with it officially,” says Michael Alsup, who began to experience FM symptoms in his early 20s.

    Alsup also suffers from other illnesses including chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, Raynaud’s phenomenon, chronic insomnia, and a recurrent seizure disorder.

    After getting diagnosed, accepting it as well as coping with it is the same for men as it is for women, but societal pressures and expectations of men present unique challenges. Even in the 21st century, men are judged by their ability to provide financially for their families.

    Society’s masculine ideal continues to expect men to be physically active and hardworking. FM threatens all patients’ abilities to live up to these expectations, but its impact can be more difficult for men to cope with. Fibromyalgia can be debilitating, which can affect a person’s ability to work.

    “Since the three accepted stereotypes for men are that they are athletes, intellects, or artists, I’m finding it difficult to maintain my self-image when I’m rarely able to participate on any of those points. Either I don’t have the energy or I can’t get the thought out before it’s gone,” says Dan Brooks, who began to experience FM-like symptoms as early as seven years old.

    As with any chronic illness, relationships are affected especially because of the very nature of FM. Fatigue may cause patients to withdraw and become less physically active. Because there are no definitive laboratory tests to diagnose FM and no apparent physical signs of the disease, family and friends may be skeptical of an FM diagnosis.

    “Others are mostly sympathetic, but many do not understand why I cannot work a regular job when I look healthy and can do so much on occasion,” says Alsup.

    Like other FM sufferers, Alsup has had to deal with people’s perceptions of him based on their lack of understanding FM. Alsup says some people believe that something may be afflicting him but they believed that it is coupled with “a strong leaning toward just plain laziness and wimpiness.”

    These perceptions, along with a change in lifestyle, can have a detrimental impact on FM sufferers.

    “Most of my male friends have dropped by the wayside as I did less and less of the active, macho activity trips and adventures with them. Some members of my family have just given up on me,” says Alsup.

    “I dread the person who mutters, ‘You’re no sicker than I am.’ Fortunately, that’s happened to me only once. I was on my best behavior, and replied, ‘I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?’ The stunned look was priceless,” says Brooks.

    1. Do you need advice from other men? Go online. Here are some online resources for men with Fibromyalgia.

    n - It offers resources for men coping with Fibromyalgia. The Web site includes a section with men’s stories, a chat room, and a message forum. It also explores sexual issues as related to FM.

    n FibroMenSupportGroup - The online support is part of Yahoo! Health support groups. It is a members-only group. To learn more, visit

    n The Men’s Zone - This site offers information and support for men with FM. Visit

    2. Go to a support group meeting. Although the women at support group meetings outnumber the men, men are most welcome. Woman are often happy to see men who can empathize at support group meetings. “In the Fibro community, however, we seem to be treated like gems – the rarest of the rare – a man who understands and sympathizes,” says Brooks.

    3. You are not alone. Approximately one in eight FM patients is a man. “Find other male FM patients and forge friendships with them. They will be the ones who truly understand and will provide the companionship and friendships to replace those male friends who fade away when you can no longer share their pleasures,” says Alsup.

    4. See your physician. He or she will be able to provide you with information about FM and your treatment options.

    5. Educate yourself on FM.


    * This article was first published in the January-April issue of The Fibromyalgia Connection, newsletter of the Fibromyalgia Association of Houston, Inc. To read this and other issues, visit the FMAH Web site at Sheshe Giddens is the newsletter’s managing editor and graphic designer.

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  5. webintrig

    webintrig New Member

    Well there is great sdvice on here and things you can do that might help with your FMS.

    My husband is also stubborn about going to dr. but finally he went to get his sleep apnea test done.

    You know what they said to him he has the worst case they have seen.

    He actually stop breathing 13 times within 2 hrs.

    So you see it is nothing to play around with!

    After getting his machine he used it and woke up refreshed the next morning and no pains in his neck and head like before.

    I am not saying he uses his machine faithfully because of being stubborn but you can actually die of sleep apeane.

    If you don't want to do it for yourself do it for your love ones, please take the test.

  6. sues1

    sues1 New Member

  7. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board.

    Lots of nice people here to share experiences, info, jokes, etc.

    You might want to take a look at the post "What Helped Me" which has contributions by several people. I bumped it up to the first page.

    You can also check out the library (in purple) above for info on various topics.

    I agree it is very frustrating to have a condition that changes our lives and can't be fixed. Good luck.
  8. Wolfdragon

    Wolfdragon New Member

    Sorry about the long post...Was having trouble sleeping...

    I understand about the eye problems and should have remembered to space things out...

    Thank you for the advice, some has been tried and some hasn't...About 50/50...

    I really understand about the Macho men stuff...I used to hunt and fish but had to give it up years ago...I do miss it very much...

    Tell me, do some of you have memory problems? I know I do from time to time. Especially short term memory. Drives me nuts sometimes.

    I have also noticed that Weather affects me real bad. Tonight we are having a bad rainstorm and it really messing up my body.

    I have looked for support groups, but they are almost 100 miles away from me. Too far to try to get to and try to get home. For me the web is the next best thing.

    I have found that if I keep busy, that I fall to sleep less during the day when I am supposed to keep awake. I know I will pay for it, but I feel right now that I don't have a choice. I know about the sterio types...Yes I am from the old school of what men are supposed to be. And we are not supposed to complain, or cry, or show weakness...I may never be able to accept the softer role...but I am trying, not succeeding very well though...

    You know you would think that someone with a PhD would spell better :)

    Well I am going to quit for the night...Hands are cramping up real bad and making too many mistakes...Had to really slow down and hen peck at my keyboard...

    Thank you again for your help and support...You really suprised me..

    Thank you and God bless you all
  9. foxyred

    foxyred New Member

    I know it is frustrating not to be able to do what we used to do. Boy is it ever!!! But, that's like everything else we just have to adjust to it. I have slept sitting up on the sofa for the last 3 years. It hurts to bad to try to sleep laying down in a bed. As for falling asleep during the day, I also had that problem. Especially when I was driving. I mentioned it to my doctor and he prescribed "Provigal". It keeps me awake all day till about 8PM in the evening. I do take a lot of meds tho. What sleep I do get helps a little. I'm just trying to say that the Provigal won't keep you up at night. Just take it early in the morning so it can wear off by a decent time at night. Welcome to the boards. There are some really helpful people around here. Good luck to you and to your wife. This disease is rough on the spouse's also.
  10. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Bumping for maybe further replies.....