No intimacy. Anyone having same problem due to dd?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ChungieDolor, Jul 8, 2006.

  1. ChungieDolor

    ChungieDolor New Member

    I know this is kind of a sensitive topic. But do you find that your relations with your significant other has changed due to this dd. We both have medical problems, but I sometimes wonder if this dd is too much for my husband.

    Appreciate your responses!

  2. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    Hallelujah!! Thank you for asking that question!!

    I don't get to be with my husband very often at all. I think I have a mental block about it now because I know that I will pay for it the next day physically, no matter how gentle he is with me.

    He is a very loving and wonderful husband and has learned to be very patient with me. I've also learned that I need to be as sensitive to his needs as my body will allow though. It is still pretty rare though.

    This has been a really difficult part of this for me and for him. I was not brave enough to ask, but I will definitely admit to having the same problem.

    We finally discussed that over the weekend. It was the first chance that we've really had to have some alone time and just talk and connect. Otherwise, this had been sort of an undiscussed topic for us really. I think that our discussion just came at the appropriate time and it has actually brought us a little bit closer. It's been quite a relief to finally get that out in the open!!
    Thanks again for the post,
  3. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Usually our medications have something to do with the lack of drive.
    Intimacy can and should be found in other ways also.Sometimes with this DD we hurt so much our partners are afraid to touch us and after a while things just die down.
    I would have a good heart to heart with your husband about things and discuse other ways you both can feel your needs are met.Its always different for women then men.
    These days I'm just very thankful for holding hands and a really good friendship .We really like each other as people.But to keep a marriage healthy you need to talk about things with your other half.
  4. MssDarla

    MssDarla New Member

    Ditto here,

    Very difficult when the hips hurt.

    and paying the price the next day, I think my hubby worrys about hurting me too

    So he doesn't ask as often now.

    But he says its ok, But I try when I can, Fm or the meds has changed my desires though
  5. ChungieDolor

    ChungieDolor New Member

    I appreciate your responses. It is a difficult situation since I am in so much pain some days, and severe fatigue on others. I also believe my husband is afraid to address this issue for fear he will hurt me more.

    But I am so fortunate to have him in my life. He is my support line. He helps me with everything, pickin up my meds and groceries, etc. He kisses me everyday when he leaves and comes home. He calls me twice a day from work to see how I am doing, and when he is home, he asks if I need anything knowing that he is extremely tired from working on his feet all day.

    But you sometimes can not help feeling lonely. We have talked about it, and he is so tired from work, has his own ailments, takes medications. We can all relate from side effects of the meds alone. He has an appointment with his doctor next week.

    On the other hand, I can also relate to the next day, or a week flareup! ouch!

    I think it is time for me to take my meds and make something to eat. Thanks!


  6. ChungieDolor

    ChungieDolor New Member

  7. ChungieDolor

    ChungieDolor New Member

    And it is exactly what we were all saying. He saids its my illness, his illness, tired from his job. I seem to be having probs with this effexor withdrawal as well. I was ok with the 75 mg last week, and started 37.5. Feels like I have been runned over by a mac truck. I am so tired again.

    I have an appointment with my doc this week. Might have to go back up to 75mg, was taking 150 mg. Everyone was right about how hard it is to stop effexor!

    My husband has his doc appointment next week as well. Has diabetes and on his feet all day, and still runs my errands. So....intimacy will just have to wait a bit longer. What is important is that we have each other, and he has been much supportive then my family. I should count my blessings.

    By the way, has anyone taken vitamins from this website and seen results. I keep asking my doc about additional supplements and he talks about the major meds. I have read some books, and anything would help us at this point. Your responses would be appreciated! For example, energy, colon detox, sleep..!

  8. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    The closest to being intimant is my hubby rubbing my shoulders and neck. I have had pain for most of my life and now with the degenerative disc disease , fibro,MPS, and a few other chroninc pain issues too. He has diebeties and it is not undercontrol.

    So between both of us having problems with our health we don't have the intimacy that once was there and it is hard to discuss it as I don't like bring it up and neither does he, we do how ever seem to be closer as we do talk more and he will massage my shoulders and neck, And sometime will rub my head. We became closer after we had problems with our marriage . It took some time and we went to marriage counseling and it did help.

    We have found other ways of being intimate. Just talking to each other about things that we both like, spending more time together has brought us closer together.

    We love each other dearly and tell each other often but it is still not the same as our marriage used to be. Intimacy comes in different forms and while we have some intimacy in our lives we don't have all of it. And I miss that part too.


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