Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by doxygirl, Dec 13, 2008.

  1. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    For over two years now I have needed over $5000 worth of dental work done.....I decided to go to the school of dentistry ( college ) because they are 50 to 80% cheaper than a regular dentist and the work is very good!

    So I called up and found out that even though I had an hmo they would not take an hmo and that I would have to change our ins to a ppo to be able to get my work done.....

    It has taken my husband and I almost two years to get our ins changed but we finally did.........

    well inbetween all of this I had made the appt to get the initial consult to find out exactly how much I was looking at and how much the ins would actually pay!

    Problem is that more than once I made the appt to do this and the day would come and I would be so sick I could not get out of bed..and had to cancel.....

    finally Jan 1st our ins will be in effect as an ppo which the school takes and so I called to make my appt.....

    to my surprised I got a very nasty lecture from the student dentist.....

    he says to me" are you going to start coming to your appointments like your supposed to"...and so I tried to explain that I have this dd and cannot control when I get sick.....

    but I could not get a word in edgewise...he continued on for a second time telling me how valuable his time is and that I cost him a lot of money because of my irresponsiblity......

    I was on the verge of tears so I simply said "I understand all of that" and finally he shut up!

    I hung up the phone and did not know what to do with my feelings ......after all the student dentist did have a legitimate point and one that could be validated....

    problem is "Iam a victim" here!

    I do not get the luxury of knowing when i will or when I will not feel good from one day to the in that respect I do not feel that I deserve to be talked to so meanly.....

    End result is that I made the decision to not go to the student dentist....because I feel he is to pissed off at me for cancelling my appts and I do not want someone that is that mad working on my mouth!

    I will have to go to a regular dentist and now it will take me about three to five years to get all the work done that I need since my ins only pays 1500 per year!

    Iam so frustrated and even depressed that this constantly happens .....I just cannot make and keep appointments....if I wake up sick I simply cannot go to them.........

    dr's and others do not understand and I do not get a choice this is the way it is for me.

    I would like to know what you all do when you have an appt and have to cancel it because you are sick all of the time or so much that it causes problems?

    TY for listening

    [This Message was Edited on 12/14/2008]
    [This Message was Edited on 12/14/2008]
  2. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I'm sorry you got a lecture! You're right, he did have a right to be upset. People who count on others to show up for appointments are often upset - maybe he was having an especially bad day and others had done the same. If it was me, (of course I didn't talk to him) I'd rather go where I could afford it. I'd call him sometime or go see him and apologize - when he's not upset.
    Many places will charge a small cancellation fee or no show fee. It's not as much as a regular appt.
    What we do for my Mom (who has a hard time making appts) for her hair appt - we schedule her appt at noon. This is when her stylist takes lunch. If Mom can go, then she has a half hour lunch, if she can't make it then she has an hour lunch. She worked that out for her. This is a super busy salon. We just talked to her and explained the situation. Even sometimes the last appt of the day is best - sometimes they'll work a little later one day for you, if you can't make it, it's not the end of the world.

    Believe me, I've cancelled places before where I never show my face again - but when it's a place of 'value', I'd take a different approach. I'd face it head on. EVEN if this dentist does not even want you as a patient, or you decide not to go to him - I'd still make the call, write a note or something. It's the right thing to do. It might make you feel better, and make him realize he shouldn't have gone off on you without more understanding of the situation first.
    That's just my opinion of course. =)

    BTW- You are ALWAYS 'welcome' for listening. LOL

  3. charlenef

    charlenef New Member

    I had made an appt with pain managment and called and canceled due to this dd.
    so i made another appt and canceled the second one.
    they asked if i wanted to make another one i said no ill wait till im feeling better to make sure i can come.
    well i called a month later and they told me i could not be seen because i canceled.
    what? i talked to the head manager which was like talking to the wall and tried to explain i am mostly bedridden but she didnt want to hear it. so now i dont go anywhere what jerks!
  4. Kellyslaw

    Kellyslaw New Member

    I totally understand. I have been scolded, yelled at, threatened to be charged money, and humiliated by drs offices. I just wanted you to know that most of us with these dds, have had this happen to us. It's not fair and it is humiliating. But, unfortunately, there is not much we can do but put-up with it. I always try to be very, very sweet to the drs offices because I know that I am totally at their mercy. I try to not schedule actualy apts when I'm in a flair, but ask if I can be on the cancellation list. Then if they call and I can't make it in, they don't get upset when I can't. I liked one of the replies where someone suggested sending a card to the office apologizing. If it was me I would do that. You know the old saying, "You get more bees with honey..." I know it does not seem fair, but Doxy, our whole situation with these dds are not fair. I hope you have a better day and feel better soon. I personally know that no drs office can beat me up more than I beat myself up. So be kind to yourself Sweety. It truly is not your fault. It just is. Lots of soft hugs and good wishes.

  5. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    You know what? You need to do whats best for you and that is to get your dental work done asap. Dental problems can be the underlying cause of alot of medical problems and once you take care of that you may feel alot better all over. Your teeth could be releasing alot of poison into your system.

    I know it is hard to take his venting but chances are he also feels guilty for being so mean. I would have someone else call and make the appointment and try to forget what happened. Is there only one student you can see? When someone calls to make the new appt. request another student - even call the supervisor of the place a let them know what happened? Did you call ahead and cancel, I am sure you did. Also, I am sure they have a waiting list for cancellations and no one lost any money -

    If they don't have a waiting list for cancellations you should suggest they start one if they are losing money....I really mean if you should find out who the big boss is there and explain what happened. These students need to learn professionalism, compassion, etc. That should be part of the education.

    No one is ever going to understand unless they have been ill themselves. There is such a lack of compassion in this world.
  6. quanked

    quanked Member

    something you might consider is calling in on each of your good days to see if you can be seen. That is how I deal with getting my hair cut. I hate appointments.

    I do this at times with my dr. There are always cancellations. I do better with these types of things when I take care of them on days I am actually functioning. not to say I do not have to use the appointment system but I avoid it when I can. Also, I cannot count on being seen on the same day I call but it works out more often than you might think.
  7. stschn

    stschn New Member

    Has had to cancel my appointments several times as he has migraine headaches so he's more than understanding about my situation.
  8. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    If I have to cancel the appointment the day of the appointment then I call and cancel, apologize and then I pay the cancellation fee just like anyone else would have to. I know it's not my fault that I wake up sick but by canceling so close it means that someone who may have needed that appt slot couldn't get in. I just follow whatever the office cancellation rules are and that's it.
  9. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    I believe that all of you understand......and that means to much to my initial post I do not think I elaborated on the fact that Iam always very nice and apologetic and was so when speaking with this "student" dentist.....

    the problem for me is of course the fact that I get sick so much and so often that it angers me that I can't just be normal and do things like "make and keep appointments"!

    the sad truth is that most likely this is how it is going to be.....Iam going to take PV's advice and call the coordinator and request a different dentist..I will also let her how it is going to be with me !

    I do not mean that how it may sound...but the truth is they have to know that this probably will happen and it probably wll happen many times so if we can lay it all out on the table maybe we can together figure out a solution!

    After all I do need my dental work done...and this is affordable for us........

    I will let you know what happens when I call the coordinator after the holidays:)

    and in the meantime if anyone has any creative ideas please post them here for me!