no support at all

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jsholden, Jul 24, 2006.

  1. jsholden

    jsholden New Member

    So, my husband just gave his opinion. He said fibromyalgia is a mental problem and all in my head. How do those of you who don't have any family support cope?
  2. intensemom

    intensemom New Member

    HI! I am so sorry that you are not getting what you need at home right now! Could you get him to go to a drs. appt with you or read about fibro?

    The only support I get is my DH and a few friends who really don't understand. It's good; though it hurts because not only does my mom not support me...she mocks me.
    She has always been the type to think that her pain is worse than everyone else's. Her attitude is "push through the pain". It's so depressing.

    Fibro is definately not a mental problem. Please keep coming here for support! also, try to find a local support group!

  3. jsholden

    jsholden New Member

    It is so hard. He mocks me two. I seem to have "flare ups" when I am feeling bad I short like a bad wire. Sometimes when I get myofacial pain my face muscles will start to spasm. He makes fun of the way my mouth twitches and comments on how I do this all. Like it is a put on. I need a RX for a divorce...
  4. claudiaw

    claudiaw New Member

    is he willing to read up on it?

    If he get's educated on it from someone else other than you, maybe he will change his mind.

    this can be a great place for support, we know how you feel.

    I hope your husband will begin to want to know more of your condition, so he can become a support for you. After all that is what marriage is all about.

    Best wishes,

  5. Angelimbo

    Angelimbo New Member

    It has taken many, many years (over 20) for my family to finally get it.

    I now have some real black-and-white proof of my illness and disability, that I never had before. But even before I got this new about the past 6 years, my family has finally "come around" in their thinking, at least.

    I am no longer hearing things like, "If you believe you are sick, then you will BE sick" or "It's not that you are UNABLE to (do certain things, function, learn, etc.), it's just that it's not your priority; you don't "desire" it enough".

    But it took so many years, and until the last few years, it didn't matter how much "information" I provided to them.....their minds were made up, and they didn't want to be confused with "research facts".

    I think the turn-around for them, was the fact that SSA said I was disabled, because they saw (and read about) what the SSA system puts us through in order to be approved.

    And now, with the newest info that has turned up in my bloodwork, they are even more convinced, and are so much more supportive (verbally) than before.

    All you can do, when it comes to "educating them", is do the best you can. Provide them with "A Letter To Normals", or "The Spoon Theory" (google them, if you don't have them). When you give them this, and other information, you might remind them of what Albert Einstein said (paraphrased):

    "To make a judgement based on no knowledge, is the height of ignorance."

    I wish you the best in your effort to get support from your husband, and will pray for you and for him!

  6. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    Remember, he can't change what is the truth...
    Unfortunately there are too many other nonbelievers like him, so all you can do is be who you are. Maybe in time, he'll recognize the truth about what is going on with you and change his mind.

    I've come to a realization that what we have is a wierd disease, and if I didn't have it, I probably wouldn't understand it either. Well heck; I've got it and I don't even understand it!

    So how can they? I would try to emphasize more on your symptoms instead of the name, fibromyalgia.. Maybe at least he will sympathize with your problems and what your going thru instead of his misconceptions..

  7. jsholden

    jsholden New Member

    I am only 29 and have been denying this for a whole year. When I could no longer live with the pain I went back to the doctor. I have finally accepted the fact that I have fms. I;m depressed every day. Has anyone out there gotten their doctor to put them on an antidepressant? I'm weak and not doing so well
  8. intensemom

    intensemom New Member

    Have you been diagnosed? Because usually that is the first thing drs. do for fm/cfs. I found that SSRI's(prozac, zoloft,effexor) helped my pain and depression from fms. Unfortunately, antidepressants haven't helped with the CFS.

    You need to get some support. What your husband is doing is bordering on mental abuse. Can you afford a counselor? If this is stressing you out it might make your fm worse!

  9. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    I was lucky and my mom believed me right away. She has a sister that has fibro too. What she had a problem believing was how bad it was for me. Thankfully she has gone to my Rhumey doctor with me since day one so she now believes. My ex husband that it was a mind over matter thing till he went on the internet and started checking things out. He now is a believer. As for my kids they always knew I was sick simply because I went from being one type of mom to a whole different type of mom. They were the lucky ones (LOL) to see the progress of the DD. Have your husband go out on line and get some of the more recent information out there or have him go to the doctors appointment with you. He'll get it eventually......SueF