After being diagnosed with fm/cfs I was encouraged to hear that if was not a fatal disease. As time passed on I've started rethinking this theory. This illness in many ways has killed my professional life as a nurse. It has killed my social life, my recreational life, my ablility to take care of my grandson. And it has partially killed my marriage. What does a disease have to strip you of before it is considered life threating. The pride takes daily hits. I have 3 friends that took their own lives because of the symptoms of fybromyalgia and chronic fatigue. Two of them were men. I want a way to actually get back into life. I am a christian and have wonderfully understanding friends. I am am alcholic that is thinking about going back to drinking just to get a little excitement back in my tired, painfilled , sleepless migrained life.