Not angry, just heartbroken. Need a shoulder or two!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia and ME & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' started by Saoirse3, Jan 5, 2013.

  1. Saoirse3

    Saoirse3 Member

    I thought I could begin a fresh, new year but it seems pain always finds me, even in Alaska!

    Two nights ago, I received a call from my foster son's fiance. I've known this "child" (he's 39, but still my "kid") since he showed up at the runaway shelter where I was working 25 years ago. Frank was always tough, but he had a heart of gold. Unfortunately, Frank was also promiscuous. As in 7 kids with 6 different women (that we know of). To make a long story short, what I feared the most is happening. My "Frankie" is dying of AIDS.

    Then last night my daughter called. Her husband was supposed to go pick up a car. Instead, he texted her that he was not coming back, leaving her penniless and with a 3 year old. He took every dime they had. Fortunately, his aunt (and my best friend) came to the rescue and my daughter is safe and warm. This isn't the first time he has done this, and she always takes him back, because she is afraid of him. She is bi-polar and he is autistic. They ABSOLUTELY do not belong together, and not just for medical reasons. I'm all for love between ANY two people who TRULY love each other. But he seems out to destroy her. If it weren't for my strong faith and for my one commandment ("And it harm none, do as you will") I would push him in the Kenai River and claim a "fishing accident". But it is so VERY hard watching someone hurt your family. I swear there are days when I wonder if ANYONE is sane anymore!

    I'm not a whiner by nature, but I am just being hit so fast, with so much! And, of course, the stress equals pain. And my doctor is a minimalist as far as pain goes. Two Advil can "cure" anything from multiple fractures to the common cold! Wish it were true, but we all know the answer to THAT one!

    Thanks so much for listening to me whine! Somewhere is the strength to face all of this. It's just not happening tonight.

    Soft hugs,
    Stacey
  2. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    Sorry to hear so much is going on for you. Sending you hugs and prayers.
  3. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Wow, and I thought my kids were difficult.....sorry to hear your situation is so rough. I know the stress from family stuff and the damage it does.

    My dd is autistic, bipolar, devel disabled, w serious behavior problems....I hate to say it, but my FM became really evident when she was a toddler and we were going thru h3ll trying to figure out what was wrong w her. SHe's 20 now and still a daily challenge altho she's better than she used to be. Not as physically violent as in earlier yrs (knock on wood).

    So, just know you're not alone. I know that doesn't help much, but just thought I'd let you know there is support here for you.

    Breathe!
  4. jaminhealth

    jaminhealth Well-Known Member

    mine is heavy too for a couple reasons....

    On Frank's dx, aren't there good results with all the drugs today. I've heard many with Aids are doing pretty well with the drugs.

    Your daughter and grandchild, geeeeeezzzz.

    So sorry and hope all will work out as positive as possible. jam
  5. jole

    jole Member

    Remember the days when we were young and thought we could quit worrying the day they graduated? Lol...how wrong we were! It just gets worse, then comes the grands, and more worrying.

    I hope things smooth out and get better. Wish your DD could see the toxic person for what he is, and find another route to follow, but medical problems probably interfer with her thinking, and when you have problems usually self-confidence is low as well.

    Keep the faith and remember we're not the answer to all the problems in the world. All we can do once they leave home is love them and encourage them to find their right path, then say a prayer. (I know, much harder than it sounds.) Gentle hugs...
  6. MicheleK

    MicheleK Member

    Dear Stacey,

    All I can think after reading your post is, how much heartbreak can a heart take? Surely yours just received a couple of heavy blows. I am so sorry.

    I imagine over the years you have been through a lot. My foster nephew was recently diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. He was born to a mother who was a cocaine addict and was taken from her directly after the birth and placed with my dear friend who is like a sister to me. The doctors beleive he's had the retrovirus inside him since birth. The grief in the family over this has been deep. He's such a joyful young man. Since the news he has been in a scary depression. It is so sad.

    The only good thing is that the drug regimens they have now work incredibly well. My brother in law has AIDS and he hasn't even had a cold in a decade!

    I am sorry for your deep sadness and the worry that comes along with the love of our children, which goes on all our lives, and thiers.

    Hugs, MicheleK
  7. GBHope

    GBHope New Member

    I'm so sorry for such a rough start to the new year. I hope that things get better and easier for you. (((HUGS))))
  8. Fibrofoggy4

    Fibrofoggy4 Member

    I'm so sorry for you and your family. I just had a similar experience. My neice has been dying for years.Said she would die by 40. She started with. MunchhHousens, named after a baron who made himself Ill for attention. Then mothers started feeding babies. Safety pins, spoons, forks, needles. They had a special on TV about it. She made herself so sick, she lived her last years on feeding tubes, tubes everywhere.. She passed away 3 weeks ago. Her older brother, who is like me own son, started freaking out.
    4 days later her mother passed away suddenly. She was my older sister. We weren't all that close and it didn't matter. I started sleeping, day and nite(not the Sherri who never sleeps). I was having very bad a vivid dreams. My mother passed away when I was 17. My dad had a long life, but he died 8 years ago. Now it's just me. I told you I slept thru alot of grief but its tough. When I woke up my nephew. Really took it hard and I kept him from throwing away all he's worked for. Its very hard and scarey, but keep yourself busy. They wouldn't want you to suffer. Be strong, pray and know if something is out of your control, you need to go back to your life and make them proud. Grief counseling sounds like a good possibility. I'm very sorry for your loss. Just remember to take care of you.
    I'm really sorry, but be strong,
    Sherri. The new kid on the block.