Not doing so good...prayers desperately needed

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Lms526, Nov 19, 2007.

  1. Lms526

    Lms526 New Member

    Yesterday, I had a huge blowup with my mom. We both said some really hurtful things to each other. I just needed to get out of the house. Fortunately, my friend Cindi (who has a knack for knowing when I need to talk) called me and told me I could crash at her place for a few days. I spent most of the day there yesterday and spent the night. I'm probably going to stay with her and her family until Wednesday or Thursday. I just really feel like my mom and I both need some time away from each other and a chance to cool off a little.

    I'm also really not looking forward to Thanksgiving. It's just going to be mom and I. My dad is going hunting and my brother and his wife are going to a football game in Detroit. I think it might be really tense. But hopefully after being apart for a few days, it will help.

    I'm also really not looking forward to counseling this week. Last week was really rough. Most of my sessions are rough, but the one last week was especially rough.

    I've also been struggling so much with doubt and anger with God. In fact, lately, I've been questioning whether or not God even exists. I've struggled with doubt in the past, but never like this. I have no desire whatsoever to pray, read the Bible, bible study, or even go to church. I just feel very dissillusioned right now.

    As far as the job thing, I worked all last week 28 hours and $10 per hour. I will get paid either today or tomorrow. But all of that money is going to go towards Christmas presents. I still haven't found a job. I'm getting so sick of this.

    I am under so much stress and pressure right now. Dealing with my depression and all the stuff that is getting dredged up from counseling. My fuse is unbelievably short. I've never had a real long fuse, but now, it's almost non-existant. I'm just at the breaking point.

    Also, the temptation to start drinking is incredibly strong right now. This is a temptation I've struggled with since I was a teenager. But I have a close friend who is an alcoholic, and she told me that she sees alcoholic tendencies in me. I know that to be true. I also have a family history of alcoholism. So in that regard, it's a good thing I don't have any money right now. If I did, I can pretty much guarantee I would buy a bottle of something. I am in unbelievable emotional pain right now. I just can't deal with it. But at the same time, I know that I would become an alcoholic within a very short time. I don't want that to happen.

    I started the higher dose of generic prozac a couple of weeks ago. I don't feel like it is doing much of anything for me. On a scale of 1-10, I would rate my current anxiety level as a 10. I've even been having panic attacks again. That only happens when I am under a huge amount of constant stress. Also, the fluoxitine isn't doing squat for my depression. I'm as depressed now as I was before I started medication. I think I'm going to discuss this with my counselor on Wednesday.

    I am in dire need of prayer right now. As much as I can get. Thank you!

  2. sonialovely

    sonialovely New Member

    The Lord Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,and I will give you rest(Matthew 11:28).Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"(Matthew 11:30).

    Love through me, Love of GOD,
    There is no love in me: O fire of Love, light Thou the Love
    That burns perpetually.-Carmichael from Daily Bread.
  3. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    My daughter and I have fallen outs here and there, but we never stop loving one another, and that is what is important.

    YOu give your Mom a call, if my daugher does not call me, I will wait a day and then call her. After we usually have a few words, when she hears me on the phone she usually cries.

    Its best you went to your friends for a few days, give both of you time to cool off.

    When things are going bad, we all feel the way you do, except I do not drink, it has no effect on me anyway:), that I can't help you with, others here seem to have covered that one.

    As for having your 'dry spell' with the Lord, most of us go through that as well. I know I have, and I do exactly what you just did; 'ask others to pray for me', since I can't pray for myself at times.

    You take care of yourself, call your Mom, its best to get this over with, as it is causing you to feel worst.

    Do not worry about God, when we can't communicate with Him, He is always there right beside us, or He is carrying us!

    God loves you, and so do these wonederful christians on this board, as well as your Mom.........

    Shalom, Shirl
  4. skikat

    skikat New Member

    sorry about the caps) .
    i am a minister and maybe i could help you more if i could give you my email, so
    SHIRL- is there any way that we can trade emails? i cant get on chit-chat.

    lms- i want to pray for you now also.ok? GOD IS ALWAYS THE CLOSEST WHEN HE SEEM THE FARTHEST away. why? because he is testing you to se how you will hang on to him even though you cant feel HIM. i know, i was there for a year one time. but i hung on and i would say, that maybe HE has big plans for your life as he did mi e and i didnt know it then.

    dear father GOD, we come again to you in the name of your son JESUS. we come against this spirit of depression and heaviness. and we command hin to go and leave her alone. . i ask now , my master, that you intrvene and send your precious HOLY SPIRIT to deal with her in the areas that you know all about. we know that you care. you have proved it to us many times. and i am ever so thankful.
    i also come against this spirit of acohol and seducing spirit that would try to take her from you. n the wonderful name of JESUS. i also ask that you send the ministering angels to minister to her at this lonley hour. also, the guardian angels to watch over her through this trial, for we know thtyou will bring her through this. bless her and bless her mothr. she cant pray right now and you know that also. so we are praying for her. stay by her side HOLY SPIRIT and create within her the desire to serve JESUS with everything in her for we know tht the enemy is trying to get her to give up. let her know that as long as she stays in the cover of your arms , that nothing can by any means take her away from you. give her peace tht passes all understanding as you said that you would in you word. i believe you,JESUS , above everything else. and now i give her to you for her safe keeping. make your face to shine upon her. and we know tht when she accepted you, that now, she is royalty, and "YOUR" blood runs in her veins. and you do not have acohol in your veins, so, neither does she. she has inherited all things that you have. and a place in your kingdom. bless and heal her now. in JESUS wonderful name. we love and praise you . AMEN
  5. ritatheresa

    ritatheresa New Member

    I just wanted to say hi and let you know you'll be in my prayers.

    I can totally relate to so many of your circumstances,
    I sometimes feel so lost, hopeless.

    I have a plaque in my room of The Footprints verse and that gives me comfort, to believe when I'm at my worst God is carrying me, although I have questioned that, when I look back at my life I believe it to be true.

    I hope your feeling somewhat better, I hope you are able to enjoy your holiday, God Bless, Ritatheresa
  6. Lms526

    Lms526 New Member

    Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all your responses. They helped me feel less alon. I just wanted to give you a brief update on how things are going.

    I was able to work things out with my mom. I apologized and told her that I truly wanted to change. But I was also honest with her and told her that what she said had hurt me too. She never apologized for her part in the whole mess. But I know that my conscience is clear. I also know that I can't change her. My mom is in denial about a lot of things. But I've realized that all I can do is take responsability for the things I've done. I can't and shouldn't take responsability for her stuff too. Even though I've been doing that for a long time now.

    Thanksgiving was pretty low-key. But I knew it would be. I was okay with that. But it was a lot less stressful than I thought it would be. Which was a good thing.

    Skikat-I would definitely like to get your e-mail address somehow. If you get the okay for Shirl, please post your e-mail address under my handle. Thanks!

    Thank you again all for your concern and support for me. I am especially thankful for all of your prayers on my behalf. Thank you.