I feel the need to get something off my chest, maybe someone else can relate, or maybe no one will read it. I am just so frustrated with my life and I am not sure how to change it. I am 37 year old single mom of a son with ADD. I am overweight, broke and have fm. I am raising my son with out any help from the sperm donor and little help from my family. And the "help" I do get from my family is generally them telling me that I am not a good mother. In fact when I was pregnant my mother even told me as much. My son was sick for 6 long weeks earlier this year running a fever, and my mother actually asked me if I had done something to make him sick. How would anyone go about making there child sick with a fever and no other symptoms???? I am undermined at every turn when I try to discipline my son. Yesterday was my nephews 11th birthday, we were going to go have dinner and who knows what else. My son was coming off his meds and was being difficult again. I had given him a third chance to be good and told him if he didnt behave we were going home. He ran outside with my nephew and was half way across the street. I told him it was time to go home and he ran to his grandma to rescue him. She actually took his hand and loaded him in her car and drove off with him. I followed her and when she parked, I got him and put him in his car seat to go home. He was screaming and she kept saying give him another chance. How would she have reacted had my grandma done this when I was a child. So yet again I am a bad parent and unfair to my son. To top it off he kept telling me he didnt want to stay with me he wanted his grandma, which just killed me. Its been 24 hours and I havent talked to my mom since. At work, I took this job because I thought it would be better for me than working with the public. I have lost a couple of jobs because I was "rude" to people. I am very matter of fact in my talking and I am sure that it comes off as rude. My last job it was completely out of the blue because all the patients would come and wait for me to talk to instead of the other receptionist because I was the nice one with a smile on my face ALL the time. I was always told how nice I was and what a joy it was to deal with me. But the day I was let go I was told the Dr's had recieved complaints that I was rude and didnt want to deal with it anymore. They couldnt give me examples or anything but said bye bye. So I got this job as data entry working for 4 radiology centers. At first I was being praised for my work saying that they wished they would have had me a long time ago because I was so fast in getting them information in the computer. I was given more responsibility and there was talk of moving me up to have my own center to work on. I had gone from December to April without meds for my fm and I was in terrible pain and a deep deep depression. I started experiencing my first bout of fibrofog and I really thought I was going crazy. I began making errors in my data entry something very unheard of normally with me. My manager began taking work away from me and wrote me up for making too many errors. I was written up 10 days later again for errors and for being rude to my coworkers, telling me my coworkers were afraid of me. And I was told that if I was written up again, I would be fired. I have become syrupy sweet to everyone telling them yes maam and no maam. Started taking my time with data entry so my errors would go down. So far it has paid off. I kept hanging on in a job I really dont like because I thought I would be getting my own center this summer. Well yesterday when I came back from lunch, I heard my supervisor offer the new center to someone else. This person is very hateful to me, but is wonderful to everyone else. If I tease her about something she gets pissed off at me or goes and tells on me. I am just about at the end of my rope at this job. If I have to work under her I will never survive. So to sum this long vent up, I am having hard time being told that in whatever I do that I am not good enough. I am in terrible pain today. I have laid in bed most of the day and hollered at my son to leave me alone. I hate my life but I dont know how to fix it. Jobs around here are hard to come by. ARRRRRGGGGGG God help me!!!!