Not knowing what to expect from day to day

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by LincolnCountyLady, Oct 23, 2003.

  1. LincolnCountyLady

    LincolnCountyLady New Member

    A year ago I started out taking care of my elderly parents. My dad 92 and my mom 84 and diagnosed with Alzheimers. My dad passed peacefully on Easter Sunday--ready to meet his Maker. I now care for mother 24/7/365. My father was frail but otherwise in good health right up until he died. I had the best Hospice group for support and a resource to help with my father. With mother, it is just me and the local doctor when I give him a call or she has an appointment. There isn't a day goes by that at some point I don't feel adrift. So many questions...just trying to do the best I can, wondering if I am doing the right thing. At times I feel inadequate, especially when family members offer suggestions and criticism. And I am tired. Who would have guessed my life would be so stressful and find me questioning my ability to care for my own mother... LIfe would probably be a little brigher if I received some assistance from siblings but they are not intereted or unable to be a part of mother's life. That in itself weighs heavy on my heart. I know this is a long message, I guess I am baring my soul. Please forgive me and thanks for listening. I would appreciate any and all prayers and I will do the same for this group of caring individuals. God bless...
  2. WorriedDaughter1

    WorriedDaughter1 New Member

    What you are doing is a wonderful service to your mother. But, without support, you will shortchange both yourself and her. Please reach out so you won't be so isolated.

    You might consider posting to the Alheimer's board on this site. It seems to be more active than the caregiver board. And, you can learn alot from just reading the posts of others.

    I am fortunate that my siblings are (so far) in agreement about caring for my mother. But, I've read many stories where siblings are an awful hindrance. While it is sad to not have their support, it is certainly better than outright opposition.

    Take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you. God bless.

  3. LincolnCountyLady

    LincolnCountyLady New Member

    I appreciate you response. You wre a voice out of the dark, and brightened my day. Do you know how much that means, especially from a stranger? Thank you, and I will be remembering you and your family in prayer too.
    And, I will take your recommendation to check out the Alzheimer's board.
  4. mm_t

    mm_t New Member

    as i type this i am thinking that you did state you are quite a ways from a large city. but i will offer this any way...i believe there are some programs that do day care for victims of alzheimer's. but i don't know how far one of them would be from you. it is a chance for the care-giver to have some respite and the client to have stimulation other than their day to day living. it is sort of like taking your child to play-school but i have heard some good things about this sort of program.

    is there any chance your doctor could sit down with other family members and gently explain that criticizing your care surely isn't beneficial to anyone? you need someone on "your team" so you can have support. i am sad to hear that you cannot get your family on that "team". do not take their criticisms to heart that may well be guilt speaking. they have to know they are letting your mom AND you down with their lack of action.

    may the good Lord bless you and your mother. you are a good daughter.
    [This Message was Edited on 11/04/2003]