Not living in fear

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lca, Apr 29, 2007.

  1. lca

    lca New Member

    I drove my car down to the beach and got out. At the same time several kids coming back from prom got out of their car. Just then, a huge man in a beige trench coat approached me, slightly showed a silver gun stuck in his coat and said, "Lady get your kids off the beach, it's past curfew." I answered him, "I don't know them, I came by myself." He replied, pulling the gun all the way out of his coat, "Lady, I"m not telling you again, get those kids out of here." I just stood there and then he shoved the huge shiney gun into my left temple. "Unless you get out of here, you're dead." I thought to myself, "You don't know me, I'm always in so much pain, I'm not afraid to die." And then I woke up from the dream. The day before I had pulled my neck and shoulder again (on the left side) and was in excrutiating pain and had a horrible time finding a sleeping position that was comfortable. Having had FM since yearly childhood (I'm now 52) I've never known life any other way. I never had a "before FM". It's actually made me a happy and calm person. Unlike the average person, I'm not in constant fear of cancer, heart disease, stroke or anything else. I enjoy and at least try to appreciate each day one at a time no matter how much pain or misery I'm in. I'm lucky to have a loving and supportive husband and two wonderful children. I don't take life for granted and try to see FM as a small blessing that I can be free of fear.
  2. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    You are truly blessed to have reached that point. My breaking point was three years ago. Prior to that I'd had issues, but it didn't change work and so forth. Then I got hurt and everything changed. For the first year and a half, I was so scared I was going to die. Now even though I still search for answers, I'm not scared to die. I also try to appreciate what I do have and understand how truly blessed I am.

    God Bless
  3. mebonlybecky

    mebonlybecky New Member

    I have lived threw alot in my life time, I am will be 45 in july, and I found out a year ago finally what is wrong with me FM. Somewhere in the back of my mind I always knew that I would have something wrong with me when I do finally find happiness. And what I mean by happiness, is that I lived with a abuser (ex husbnnd) for 12 years. It was not everyday, he was like that but later he finally got tested for bi polar, where he would just go off for no reason. It was on going emtional roller coaster with him, emotional and pyschical. I had the fear then that I may not live threw it. And at times I almost didnt. I was div. for almost 9 years until I met my husband now, he is so understanding, and loving. I never dreamed I would have someone like him in my life, and my kids life.
    So now that I am happy and life is going the way I always dreamed of, I found out I have FM. I hear of so many other things that my occur in having this. But I know if I do develope them over time, it will have to come and grab me in my butt and tear me down fast! cause I will not give up! I am not really scared, yes I think about it, but it mostly to do with my kids. I want to be around to see them become who ever I know they can be. That is what drives me now to go and do things with them. I don't by noooo means down the person that dont work, or go to their kids things. But I have learned how to be a strong will person, and stand up for myself. So I will not back down to FM. I am not scared of it, what ever it throws at me. As I read your dream, I look at the man with the silver gun as FM. Standing there, and saying I am not afriad of you. I am not scared of dieing, but I will not back down.
    Becky