Not Motovated with grief

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kezzluvscats, May 11, 2011.

  1. kezzluvscats

    kezzluvscats New Member

    On the 19th of April my dog Bessie was put to sleep. She was 18 yrs old and dementia was what got her. She looked after me- stayed with me when i was unwell and was active when i was. She was raised with two cats and they loved each other so much. I have had the three of them cremated- so they are still with me- i've got a 4yr old cat a yr ago from the rspca. I need my furry babies. When family and people left me over the yrs because i was ill- they stayed with me day and night.. i get love and blessings of my cat but i never will be a dog owner again- in the end Bessie's health was affecting me by having to lift her up and down off the bed and supervision to the toilet esp at night- not to mention i had to stop walking her yrs ago. Since Bessie has gone, i just get so tired and dont want to do anything. A friend told me when i made the effort to turn up to her birthday lunch 9 days after i lost bessie. that it was time to get back into things. She now understands some of the effect of fms, but some people dont understand that grief can cause pain and tiredness. Thanks for listening.
  2. quanked

    quanked Member

    Your dog Bessie sounds like she was lots of comfort to you. I understand how deep grief can be after losing a pet. I lost my Kiki dog in August 2009. I am still grieving my loss. I loved that dog so much and I miss her everyday.

    I have no words that can help your grief. I know that when I talk to people who have lost a pet they loved dearly it helps to know they understand how deep the pain is. As you say grief can cause pain and tiredness and does for many of us.

    As I read your words it makes me think about the little dog I am thinking about getting at the Humane Society in a week or 2. Kiki was a blond lab--small for a lab though. When she was dying I could not pick her up and comfort her--I will always regret that. There were times when I wanted very much to pick her and hold her like I did when I was not ill. Her size was an issue in the end--for me not her. This rescue dog I am looking at is very small, a Chihuahua mix. I wanted a female but I gravitated to this little male dog. I think I will be able to help him if he needs it, at least I hope I can. But I can understand what you say about the needs of a dog when one is ill.

    Take care of yourself and get as much rest as you can.
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    We often grieve harder for our loving pets--even more than we do people. It's not that we love them more but we love them differently and they give us unconditional love. They are family members. Grief is different for everyone and there is no magic timeline nor do we ever "get over it." The pain just gets a little less raw and we begin to remember why we loved them so much. I planted a nice plant out in our stairwell atrium after my cat, Mr. Big, died. The neighbors loved him and we had a wake, including a toast to "one hellova fine cat." I placed a little etched rock at the base of the plant with "friend" etched on it. Everyone calls it, Mr. Big's Plant.

    Little rituals often help comfort us. I pray for comfort for you.

    Love, Mikie