Not my usual cheery me today

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Greenbean7, Sep 28, 2006.

  1. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    Sorry to do this, I usually try to stay upbeat and cheerful. My daughter says I spread a trail of joy everywhere I go. Which is actually what I would like to have people remember about me when I’m gone.

    I don’t feel very cheerful right now. I’m just really tired of hurting so much. I could really use just one day without pain. Just one.

    I know that many of you are a lot worse off than I am. I know I should be grateful that I am up and moving no matter how my body feels. My kids are healthy, my husband loves me, I like my job. I really should be grateful and stop having this little pity party, but I just can’t seem to snap out of it.

    Tears are right on the surface all the time, even just typing this. I just don’t seem to have any control.

    I’ve looked back at my pain journal and it seems that everyday it has been a little worse and a little worse until today I was actually writing swear words! Not like me at all.

    The last 4 weeks have been incredibly stressful at work and now we are having another auditor coming in October. One thing right after another here.

    I guess I just needed to vent. Thank you for understanding and all your support.

    I will try to bring more joy with me tomorrow.

    Hugzz
    Greenbean

    Think I'll go home and hug my puppy!
  2. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    Vent away sweetie -- that is what this board is for too isn't it?

    I am sorry you are feeling low today and I do hope it will be better for you tomorrow.

    Going home and hugging you puppy -- sounds like the best medicine to me!!

    Feel better soon,

    Karen :)
  3. sisland

    sisland New Member

    I Know life sucks sometimes!! maybe you need to take a day off and sleep! I'm like you in many ways if i have a bad day It's like the world stops turning and it's my fault!!
    Wow Your a trooper! working with this DD How ? I Hear you on the swear words! When i'm hurting too much that's all i Hear myself saying! Usually it's " Oh MY God " or something along that line!! I hope your Feeling Better soon!! You are always so up beat so i know for sure that your having a bad day!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Just remember When you wake up tommorow it will be a better day! I Hope!!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Hugs,,,,,,,,,,,Sydney

    Hug that puppy~~Eat some ice cream~~~Hot Bath
  4. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Aw Greenbean, just your name makes me smile.

    You know you can't always be upbeat and cheerful. It is amazing that you are able to work with this terrible illness. Putting on a happy face all the time is hard work!

    Sounds to me like you need to give yourself a break and quit beating yourself up. All those "shoulds" will only make you feel worse!

    Vent away girl, we all do and we understand. Somedays everything is just too much to bare.

    Go home, hug your puppy and pamper yourself.

    hugs back, from a another puppy lover, Redwillow

  5. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I am sorry you are not your usual self. I too try to stay positive but sometimes we just have to have these days.

    Just have faith they will pass soon and you will be back to spreading joy again.

    Maybe we have to do this to remember to really appreciate the good days.

    I hope you feel better soon-Carla
  6. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    Your support means so much to me.

    The big problem this week is that the dog show I had my puppy in last year is this weekend. I had to stop showing Rey because I just can't walk or stand long enough to walk the course.

    My sis is going and wants me to go with her. It would only entail walking a hundred yards or so, but since I feel so yucky today I just can't even imagine walking anywhere. There are also venders set up and it's fun to walk through and look at stuff, but I don't know if I can.

    Besides, sis is in denial about any kind of illness. With the sharp shooting pains I have in my left thigh when I walk there is just no way I can hide it from her. She has no idea how much worse I am than I was a year ago.

    Love her and want to be with her, but just don't know yet. I've backed out of every other show she's asked me to this year and I really love to go and watch her. I'll decide tomorrow. Maybe I'll feel better.

    Thanks again for all your help!

    Hugz
    Greenbean


    Stop and smell the puppies!
  7. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    I mean Greenjean. I mean...

    You have no obligation to be ever cheerful. W/ all our afflictions we should be allowed to scream, cry and stamp our feet now and then.

    Yesterday my knee hurt for a couple hours. I was so annoyed. So crabby. I don't how our folks w/ frequent/constant pain can handle it.

    Don't know what else to tell you, but I know everybody here is sending good wishes to you.
  8. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    Carla - Bummed out!?!? That's funny! Sitting on a chair and getting a sore bum made you bummed out!

    Rock - Thanks! I can always scream in the car.

    Hugzz
    Greenbean

    Stop and smell the puppies!

    PS - I tried to type Greenbean and it came out Greenjean. Who did that to me?
  9. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    You don't have to be cheery everyday. That is a big job. You deserve your days to just feel...just like the rest of us.

    Vent anything you want..you have that right.

    Take care of you.
  10. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I'm so sorry you're in so much pain....

    Just wanted to send some very gentle,

    (((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

    Nancy B
  11. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    Ohh Greenbean I am so sorry you are feeling so down. Don't feel bad about not being upbeat all the time. It happens to all of us. If you feel down you feel down, that doesn't mean you aren't a positive person. I hope you feel better soon. Are you still doing body flex? I still go to the site once in awhile. I need to start again.

    Your friend,
    Sherrie
  12. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I hope you are feeling better day. But feel like you HAVE to go. I understand about your sister being in denial about illness's.

    My daughter was the same way. Until last week when I spent 10 days with her to have 22 teeth pulled, yes 22 not a typo.

    I think I finally got threw to her about how these DD's get to us.

    Just tell her honestly, no beating around the bush. I know some people can be beat over the head with a club and still not get it. But at least try.

    Explain the pain in your heart over having to give up the shows and how that effects you. My guess is you hide it all behind humor and that's why she dosen't get it.

    I just drove 1400 miles round trip with 2 dogs alone, had my teeth pulled and took a 2 day side trip on the way home to buy stained glass.

    I prayed to god before I left to give me streght to get threw the last 2 weeks. Somehow I did it and felt better than I have felt in a long time.

    Today the fatigue is starting to set in again, I came home Mon eve. I know you work so it is much harder for you but I hope your pain gives you a break and allows you do what you want to.

    Could it be a sciatic nerve problem, you said you have shooting pains in your thigh? Hang in there and hug your puppies and your sister and just be honest about how you feel. Good luck with your dog, I hope he steals the show-Carla
  13. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    Thank you again for your support! I am feeling a little better today, a little more upbeat even though I still hurt as bad as yesterday. Mentally I feel better.

    I called my sis last night and told her I would come with her. I told her I was worried about walking and she said she would park as close as possible to her show ring and we didn't have to go look at the vendor's stuff because we shouldn't spend the money anyway!

    Don't know if Rey gets to go or not. Depends on how I feel tonight because he needs brushed and if I feel up to having him along tomorrow morning. You aren't supposed to bring a dog that isn't in the show, but nobody will notice. My step brother brought his Italian Greyhound to the last show my sis was at and nobody knew the difference.

    Thanks again everyone. I'll let you know on Monday how it went (don't have a computer at home so have to wait until I'm here on Monday!).

    Hugzz
    Greenbean

    Stop and smell the puppies! It did help to hug my Rey last night!

    PS - Sherri! Funny you asked about Body Flex today. I don't do it because of my pain, but I did the breathing this morning for the first time in months. Maybe that's what improved my mood! Haven't been to that board in just about forever! BTW you look GREAT!!
    [This Message was Edited on 09/29/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 09/29/2006]
  14. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    greenbean:

    Sorry no joy today! I am also in a ton of pain today. I really can not do much about it, so am also resting.

    I hope we both have a better day tomorrow.

    nyrofan