Not sure where to turn for help...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by elizajane40, Sep 9, 2005.

  1. elizajane40

    elizajane40 New Member

    Dear FM'ers

    I have been sick with FM for over 4 years. It took 3 years to obtain a dx. I lost a career that took my whole life to build. I lost my appearance due to weight gain from the meds. I've lost my health. I'm working in the same type of job I had at the beginning of my career 20 years ago. I have a loving spouse, but I know this puts a huge burden on him. Our financial situation has been impacted. With no cure in sight. I am struggling for hope. The depression that comes along with this illness is weighing me down. I'm starting to think life is just to hard to live. I know I would never hurt myself but I am near the end of my rope. Terrible day. On a scale from 1-10, this is a zero.
    Any thoughts, stories or ideas are welcome. Just need to tell this to someone who understands.
  2. joncyn1990

    joncyn1990 New Member

    Hi elizajane,

    I am also a newbie here...but I can SO relate to you. I have an extremely similar situation as you...job, husband, finances.

    I am currently on an aggressive search to find better docs and diagnostics and treatments, so have added stress with that.

    Please know that you are not alone at all with what you are feeling. Today is my wedding anniversary and I am too exhausted and in pain to do anything...and I usually do something really special for my hubby...so my day is close to a zero too.... <big hugs for us both>

    Keep writing to us...it helps us as well as you to know that we are all suffering - but not alone - and we can and will get through it. Somehow each of us finds ways to get some good out of our lives even now....read the posts on FUN.. it might help a little.

    Hang on and keep posting!

    Cyn
  3. Kinsie

    Kinsie New Member

    I may not be able to completely relate to what you are facing, but I'm sure many here on the board can.

    I can't offer advice, but I can say that if you have a good husband, then you have alot going for you in spite of how awful you feel physically.

    Even though you feel like you have put a burden on your husband he may not feel that way at all. When you love someone, you want to see them through their difficulties, and it sounds like he's that type of man.

    Again, just know that we care.

    Kinsie
  4. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    elizajane40:
    I see a psychiatrist twice a week because I can not handle this disease alone. I have all of you, a psychiatrist and now an AA sponsor and all of this from the mess left by Fibromyaglgia and how it impacted my life: yes, husband left. Imagine. They say in sickness and in health and they run for the hills at the first sign of sickness (some, anyway. Mine, for sure).

    So you are not alone. I brought a crisis here not too long ago and it had a happy resolution. You are in the right place.
    Hugs,
    NyroFan
  5. elizajane40

    elizajane40 New Member

    Everyone Who Replied.
    Thank you so much for sharing your ideas and your personal stories. I hate that anyone has FM...but it is a great comfort to know that there are people who completely understand.

    I've decided that this weekend I am going to do at least one thing that I completely enjoy. I usually am struggling through housework on Saturday, thus exhausted on Sunday.
    I don't know what it will be but I'll figure it out.

    Thanks for making me feel so welcome.
  6. Christinawensell

    Christinawensell New Member

    I am sending hugs your way. ((((hugs))))

    I have felt this way many times,a nd you are not alone. My doctor also feels I need to see a phycologist I just have not went in yet.

    I sometimes just break down crying.

    This board really helps me though when I am feeling low, and we are here to listen to you.

    I do not share with my friends that I have direct contact with anymore because they have tended to kind of ignore me lately, because they say they just don't know what to say or do. I know though I can turn to my friends here though and not feel judged or that someone would think I am totally out of it. They would just send me warm wishes and loads of confidence and warm hugs to me in my time of need.

    I wish you better days, and for the days that are not good turn to us.

    (((((hugs)))))) more hugs,
    Christina
  7. I completely undestand, that is where I am lately too. I don't have a clue what to do but take each day as it comes. What else can we do?
  8. elizajane40

    elizajane40 New Member

    I often do not talk to friends/family anymore about the whole FM thing. They want to help and simply cannot. I worry some people may think I'm crazy. It feels good to have the freedom to talk about this. I am grieving for who I used to be. I used to be slender, attractive, successful, confident. FM has literally taken me to my knees. I don't know how much longer I can continue to juggle work, housework, children and marriage. The thought of being "disabled" is frightening, we are barely making ends meet now. I pray...asking for a miracle or even just a way to give me enough strength to get back even a fraction of who I once was. One thing I know is that this illness has made me so much more empathetic toward others. I can't say enough good things about the folks on this board. When I saw all the replies come in, I felt an immediate sense of relief.