Not the news I had hoped for...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia and ME & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' started by Godismystrength, Jan 22, 2013.

  1. The doctor is 98% sure that the large mass on (in) my dad's kidney is cancer. We found this out on Friday, which happened to also be my dad's 71st birthday. The doc wants to take the kidney out on Feb. 1st. However, I've been doing some research and discovered that there are 3 types of BENIGN kidney tumors, one of which grows quite large, and can look like cancer until they do the pathology. So although this has been quite emotional for me, I am holding onto hope that the tumor is NOT cancer and is benign.

    My other concern is that in my dad's current state of health, the thought of this kind of major surgery is troubling, to say the least. He has heart issues and hasn't been in the best of health... So I'm praying that his body and heart can withstand the surgery.

    I was looking online last Thursday and discovered a cutting edge Kidney Cancer Institute in New York that has a very informative website. Ive shared the info with my dad and hope he will get a second opinion. Apparently there are quite a few better options than just removing the kidney. However, most of the less invasive options are for tumors 4 cm or less... And my dad's is 6 cm.

    I used to make my dad's favorite meal for his birthday every year... And since I hadn't been able to in 2 years, I decided to give it a try last week. I thought that if I split it up and made part of the meal on Thursday and the rest of the meal on Friday, that my body wouldn't crash on me. But I was wrong... I guess doing that along with the emotional strain and doing the extra research online was too much... Saturday morning I couldn't move and could barely speak but a whisper. I was completely "crashed" for 3 days and am just now getting some energy back.

    Life is challenging enough for those of us with this DD... But when you add any emotional stress, it seems to be the kiss of death, so to speak... Never fails... And I had even been trying to stay very positive and strong... But underneath, I guess, I know there is always the real possibility that I could lose my dad due to this... And I'm not physically strong enough to deal with the grief and all that entails...

    Please be praying with me about all this... That my dad comes through all this fine... And that I will have the strength to deal with whatever comes...

    Thanks so much...

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
    Shel

  2. Btw, my baby nephew who has pneumonia is doing better and my mom is too.... So those prayers are being answered! Thank God! And miraculously, the favorite teacher who we thought was dying, has rallied and is still with us! He's still not out of the woods, but I am thankful for these answers to prayer...
  3. freida

    freida Active Member

    I'm so sorry for your bad news and for all of that stress on you and your dad and family,

    and caring so much, as you do, for your dad,
    and yourself wearing out, of course, from the combo of our own illnesses and stresses, which is such a difficult , total challenge.

    You sound like how I do and feel, with things....and you sound like you have been doing everything possible, to do as well as possible,
    with both your coping and with all of your actions too.

    Pat yourself on the back, for all that you have been doing, dear Shel.

    2nd opinion! Yes!!
    It is always the best idea, when something so big is considered.
    I do hope you can convince your dad that it is worth the difficulty, and okay and GOOD, to get another dr's medical opinion, at least.
    I know that many people used to think that this insults their doc,
    but drs are very used to it, and should respect it by now.

    Remember that you are cared for and prayed for, Shel.

    And also remember that we cannot control the outcomes.....you are doing, have been doing, all you can, and that is the most important thing.
    Whatever the outcome, which I pray will be good,
    you can feel okay, now and later, knowing you are doing your best, and that's all you can do.

    Your dad is blessed to have you, that's for sure.

    Try to take this whole situation, one step or one part, at a time.

    Thinking of you,
    Leah

  4. deepak

    deepak Member

    I will be praying for you and for your dad.

    He is lucky to have a loving daughter like you :).

    You may want to look up Dr burt berkson - he does alternate healings for cancer with great success. But, lets hope your dads growth is one of the benign growths.

    With love and hugs.
    Deepak
  5. jaminhealth

    jaminhealth Well-Known Member

    our family is dealing with cancer now too. I'm doing a lot of research and found info from Dr. David Blyweiss in FL who writes an article: 5 Nutrients That Give You Can Edge On Cancer...this is to help those in treatment, to help the immune system, etc....

    I'm probably going to post a separate post on the 5 Nutrients on the Health Board. jam
  6. ... I can't thank you enough for your kind thoughts and support...

    I just got off the phone with my dad, trying to convince him to get a second opinion... I think I made some progress... At least he's considering it now. He is so worried that word will get back to his urologist that he has seen for 10 years and likes very much. I'm just praying that this other doctor can see him quickly or else I fear my dad will just skip getting a second opinion.

    My dad's current doc that he's scheduled to get the surgery with does not use the da Vinci Surgical System which I've read can have much better outcomes with fewer complications. The doctor I want him to see uses the da Vinci system... It's just a matter of whether my dad is a candidate for it or not. There's also the issue of whether they can do a "partial nephrectomy" and save part of the kidney, which his current doctor didn't even mention as an option. If it winds up being benign, it would be horrible to lose his entire kidney if it isn't necessary.

    Jam, I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with cancer in your family as well... it is so hard, isn't it? Especially when we want so much to help, but are so limited in what we can do. I will certainly be praying for you and your family member, Jam!

    Thank you all again, SO much for your support and prayers. It means more than you know... I will look into those other doctors, Jam and Deepak, that you mentioned. My dad isn't as open to alternative or natural therapies as I'd like, but I will give it a try! Thank all of you for being blessings... God bless you!

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
    Shel
  7. jaminhealth

    jaminhealth Well-Known Member

    either or wasn't in the past, but when one is battling for their life, I think they do open. I posted my info on the Health Board...wish you the best too. jam
  8. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Active Member

    I'm 68 but having had to deal with FM and other health issues has wised me up that every doctor isn't God. I'm sorry about your father and his thinking that this one particular doctor he's been seeing for so long couldn't possibly be wrong.

    I've been reading Suzanne Somers book, Bombshell.She interviews various expert doctors. Dr. Russell Blaylock stated on page 203 that cancer will starve if it has absolutely NO sugar. He also reports that a man written up in a medical journal with advanced pancreative cancer and how on a short time on curcumin, that one of the tumors shrunk by 75%. and apparently it is most effective with olive oil. Researchers found that curcumin protects against every kind of cancer tested. I've got to get curcumin from my health food store!

    I did a quick search on "cancer and curcumin" and there's tons of info on this.

    Perhaps you might get her book and do a reading on this....show it to your father, then pray that God will open his eyes before.....

    I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

    And that's wonderful news about the baby!
    [This Message was Edited on 01/23/2013]
    [This Message was Edited on 01/23/2013]
  9. jaminhealth

    jaminhealth Well-Known Member

    nutrients Dr. Blyweiss talks about in his 5.

    Curcumin is talked about all over the place re: cancer.

    I just wonder how many cancer docs talk about these nutrients
    to their patients.....ummmmmmm....[This Message was Edited on 01/23/2013]
  10. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Active Member

    I've now subscribed to his news letter.

    Regular run of the mill doctors don't even KNOW about nutrition to prevent or help with what they treat us for. They haven't received any training on this.

    You should have heard the "warnings" from two doctors I saw when I told them I was starting on biodentical hormones.
  11. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I am so very sorry. Prayers going up.

    I just heard about laporoscopic surgery to remove donor kidneys. They make a couple of small incisions and remove the kidney. Would it be possible to remove your Dad's kidney this way? Recovery is so much faster and the surgery is less riskey and invasive. It wouldn't hurt to ask.

    Good luck.

    Love, Mikie
  12. ...that is some great info... I had heard about sugar making cancer grow, but had not heard about the curcumin. I will def look into that and share what I find with him. And I agree with all that y'all said about traditional docs not knowing much of these nutritional things that can help us heal... This HAS GOT to change... I was hoping Dr. Oz would have helped things move in that direction since he has become so well known and visible on the t.v.... I forget though that the fox is guarding the hen house... The pharmaceutical companies fund the med schools, so unless that changes, I guess there's no hope for change in what their teaching med students :-(

    And thanks, Mikie, for the info about laparoscopic removal of the kidney. I will ask about that. I had read that the laparoscopic procedures weren't an option for tumors greater than 4 cm... But that may only be the case if you want to try to save all or part of the kidney. But I agree that would be a much better option, if available in my town, if the kidney def has to come out.

    But thank you all again for your prayers and support... Y'all are such blessings... Pray too that my dad can get in quickly with this other doc for a second opinion... I'm hoping to go with him to that appt if at all possible. Unfortunately, I feel another crash coming on... I've been either on the phone gathering info or on the Internet all day and had to go get my child from school today... And had some emails I had to write to some of his teachers. Considering the fact that I was already not feeling good when I woke up this morning and have been using my brain nonstop, I guess I shouldn't be surprised... So I'm going to have to close my eyes now and try to clear my mind... And hope I am not totally crashed tomorrow... Thanks again for your prayers! God bless each of you!

    Blessings and gentle Hugs,
    Shel
  13. Nikki

    Nikki Member

    You have truly been having a super stressful time. I'm so sorry, and I am keeping you (and all on this board) in my prayers.
    ..
    I will be praying that the tumor on your dad's kidney is benign. My aunt had cancer in one of her kidney's and had to have it removed years ago. She went through the surgery really well. She is still going strong. She was in her early 70's and is now in her mid 80's.

    I know everyone is different, but I hope this info helps just a wee bit.

    Soft Hugs,
    Sharon
    [This Message was Edited on 01/23/2013]
  14. ... I appreciate your prayers more than you know!

    I'm not doing so well today, so I am especially grateful to hear your encouraging news about your aunt! You are right that we are all different with how our bodies handle things... but it is certainly encouraging to hear that your aunt is still going strong. So glad for your family!

    Thanks again, Sharon, for your thoughtful and kind support. You have blessed me today! I sure hope your symptoms are not too bad these days... God bless you!

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
    Shel
  15. freida

    freida Active Member

    Shel, I wanted you to know that I am still thinking of you!

    And also, Sharon, that was good to see your message as well.

    And SHaron is right, Shel,
    many people do live through so many challenges and surgeries, etc...my dad did, and lived for many extra years, long past when his ailments might have shortened it. So did others I've known.
    Maybe your dad still has a long time to live.

    And your strength will come back, Shel, even though not as soon as we wish.

    xo
    Leah

  16. jole

    jole Member

    I'm not sure if this is a possibility for you, but I've heard they're wonderful. I know someone who went, was told they had cancer and she knew the CTS was the best place to go, especially for people with difficult cases. Well, they tested her for 5 days straight and found out she didn't have cancer at all. So I know they aren't surgery crazy, and and are very thorough.

    They also treat with natural compounds along with the surgery, and provide services to send the patient home mentally sound. If I ever had cancer, I'd insist on going there (if my insurance allowed it). Just a thought, although everyone does what they need to do.

    Hang in there! My mother died of cancer, and it's not pleasant for either the patient or the family. I hope all goes well for your father, whatever he/you decide to do. Hugs and prayers...
  17. ... I so appreciate your thoughts and encouragement! I haven't been doing well, but keep hoping and praying I'll get some strength back... sooner than later.

    Jole, I did look into CTA a few days ago... I actually was able to do an online live chat with a rep from CTA.... but unfortunately they have limited medicare patients to those in their immediate area. The closest one to us is in Neunan, Georgia, near Atlanta. I was very disappointed to hear that... so CTA won't be an option for my dad, unfortunately.

    As of right now, my dad's surgery is scheduled for this Friday... He has not gotten a second opinion as I had hoped. I'm praying this other doc that uses the davinci system will look at my dad's films on Monday and let me know if he would be a candidate... but right now, I'm not sure if this doc will do this for us or not. I keep praying, though. I realize it's in God's Hands... and that I can only do so much... still, it's hard...

    But thank you both again for your help and encouragement... y'all are such blessings! Don't know what I'd do without this board... I will keep y'all posted. Please keep praying... God bless you!

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
    Shel
  18. freida

    freida Active Member

    I wanted to check back here, on you, and on your dad.

    So I'm glad to read your update, even though t isn't all that we hope for.

    Shel, it sure IS hard!
    At the same time, you ARE doing a great job, at everything that you can do.

    We are here, and will continue to hope and to pray,
    for your stength, and for your dad in the coming days, whatever happens.
    If the surgery takes place friday, maybe it is the route to go. We can't know for certain, which road to take...but you are doing well.
    You are in this experience, doing your best,
    and your dad and you, are in loving hands.

    Leah
  19. mbofov

    mbofov Member

    Like Sharon, I had an aunt who had a kidney removed in her late 70's due to cancer, and she lived another 15 years cancer-free and trouble-free. My cousin said the only thing she had to do to take care of her remaining kidney was avoid ibuprofen - I don't know the reasoning behind that, but that's what it was.

    Keeping you and your dad in my thoughts -

    Best wishes,

    Mary
  20. lincamp

    lincamp Member

    Hi, I don't post here much anymore but wanted to respond to your concerns...

    I would strongly urge your Dad to get a second opinion.

    My Father was just diagnosed w kidney cancer. He had a Cat Scan guided needle aspiration biopsy of the tumor that confirmed renal cell caricinoma. A minimally invasive way to confirm the diagnosis.

    Next step is CT guided needle radio wave ablation. His doctor said it has a 90% success rate. His doctor also said surgery would be the last option.

    Hate to see your Dad under go surgery when they are not even sure it is cancer esp. when there is a non-invasive approach to treatment if indeed it is cancer.

    Good luck to you both!!