Nothing is changing...

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by getridof, May 3, 2007.

  1. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Nothing is really changing. In fact I'm getting worse and worse in situation. I really doubt if God will listen to my prayer, because he knows, I know, I'm losing faith. I feel shame to pray because I got a feeling of doing transaction with God. But the truth is I'm begging for help. So many books said God is not our servant but we serve him. I'm not asking God to serve me, I'm begging for help. Then nothing happens. Just keep me struggling at the dead end.
    I 'm sorry to say that but I start to get upset to hear, to read people's testimonies. i don't know how to pray, what should I tell God? The feeling is just like your super friend keeps telling you he can always give you a hand, when something comes up, he just leaves me suffering in the vortex. The hardest part is I still have to be blamed for not relying on MY SUPER FRIEND. I'm not sure anyone can understand how tired and helpless the situation is.
    There must be something seriously happening between me and God. I don't know what it is. Recently everything happens badly on me, my working opportunities, my parents, my friends, my mind, my dignity....everyday sucks!!! If God puts me in this so as to SHAPE me, what shape does he want? How long does he want to continue? When is the the deadline? I have to say I'm spiritually demaged. Someone may say I choose this way of thinking, but don't you think it's involuntary?
    Sincerely I would like to ask, am I sinful to write this message? Is this gonna make God angry? Am I manupulated by Satan? Am I just overwhelming? I really want to seek a way to help myself. Praying doesn't help.
  2. Lms526

    Lms526 New Member

    I wish I could give you a big hug! I have spent a lot of time that place you are describing.

    I don't think you are sinful for writing what you wrote. Scripture is full of people who expressed similiar feelings. King David, Habakkuk, Job, and the psalmists. I also really encourage you to read the book of Lamentations. It's in the Old Testament right after the book of Jeremiah. I also encourage you to read the books of Job and Habakkuk. All of those have really helped me when I struggle with what you are feeling. You are not alone in this. I think every Christian struggles like this at one time or another. Problem is, a lot of people aren't willing to openly admit it.

    One thing that I have learned about God over the years is that He wants us to be 100% honest with Him. He wants us to feel free to tell Him anything and everything. You don't have to hold back. I did that for a long, long time. I felt that there were things I couldn't talk to God about. I had to edit what I said in prayer. I was so afraid of being disrespectful. But then God started challenging me to be truly honest with Him. He is so much bigger than anything we can throw at Him. He can handle the good, the bad, and the ugly. Praying honestly to God has helped me so much. Not only does it make us feel better, but it also deepens our intimacy with Him. I don't know if you know this or not, but the words Jesus said on the Cross "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" is actually from a Psalm of David. I don't remember off the top of my head which psalm. Here are some Scripture verses that have comforted me when I am struggling in the same way you are right now. Psalm 42, Psalm 43, Psalm 18, Psalm 91, Isaiah 43, and Psalm 77.

    As far as a deadline, I really can't answer that. But one thing I do. God's time is often much slower than our time. God is NOT into quick fixes. Because He knows that real change takes time and quick fixes are almost always temporary.

    I know exactly what you mean about getting frustrated by other people's testimonies. I've often felt the same way. I was so tired of hurting, of being depressed, of all of it. I just wanted to be whole and healed. I would hear testimonies of how God had healed others from things similiar to my struggles. I would be happy for them, but I would also feel envious. I would find myself thinking things like "Don't you care about me God? Why do you give other people breakthroughs and not me?" "Do you enjoy seeing me suffer?"

    I think we humans have a tendancy to attribute human shortcomings to God. One thing that I have struggled with for many years is trusting God. I truly wanted to trust Him, but I found it incredibly hard to do that. See, many people over the course of my life have betrayed, hurt and lied to me. A lot of people have broken my trust. For a long time, I felt like God was betraying my trust also. I didn't know if I could fully trust Him.

    Do you have any Christian friends you can talk to? I think you have be careful about who you talk to about stuff like this. It seems like a lot of Christians just spout Bible verses and give pat answers. They aren't willing to really wrestle it through with you and really discuss it. If you don't have a friend like that, I pray that God will bring someone into your life. It is wonderful to be be 100% open and honest with God, but it is also wonderful to have someone you can see. A hug from a good friend can make such a difference. I think we all need at least 1 person we can talk to about anything. I have several friends like that in my life, and they truly are a blessing. I know that they love and accept me and that no matter what I tell them, they will never judge or look down on me. I recently had a friend tell me that when I'm honest about my struggles and my feelings, it encourages her to be real and honest back. Please don't give up on God or on yourself. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I know how difficult and painful like can be sometimes. I pray that you will get the breakthrough you so desperately desire.

    I have found that the major breakthroughs tend to come when you least expect them to. I once heard someone say "It's always darkest just before the dawning." That sounds trite and simplistic, but I have found it to be true. I know that right now you are very tempted to turn your back on God and just walk away. I've never completely broken from my faith, but I have walked away from God. Take it from someone whose been there. It won't lessen your pain and make thinks better. In fact, it just makes this worse. It makes you feel even more empty and lost. So please don't give in to that temptation. I will be praying for you. If you want to talk one on one, just post under my handle Lms526 and I promise a response.

    I truly hope that God will give you a breakthrough soon. Please don't lose hope and don't give up.

    Lms526

    Thank you for being so honest about your questions and your struggles.
    [This Message was Edited on 05/04/2007]
    [This Message was Edited on 05/05/2007]
  3. caffey

    caffey New Member

    We have been fed so many misconceptions about God and pat answers and formulas and then when we try them they don't work and we end up frustrated and disillusioned. It took a lot of courage for you to express how you feel. Thank you for reaching out. The Bible talks more about tough times and dark times than it does anything else. If you read the Psalms you would almost think that David was bi-polar. One day he was Oh God where are You why don't You kill me. The next Oh God you are so wonderful. So you are not alone. There are times when God is silent. These times are scary to us but we have to hang on to Him by our fingenails. He is right beside you and is working in ways you can't see right now. He loves you so much and He isn't punishing you. I don't know why things happen the way they do. ( Although some people think they have all the answers but really they don't). I have and right now am in a dark scary place but I do know that God is faithful and that I just take it a day at a time and hold on to Him and tell Him how I am feeling. By the way it is ok to be mad at Him. Just tell Him. I do know that God will only let things go on for so long and then He will say Enough. It only takes one word from Him to totally turn a situation around and it happens when we least expect it. That is why this board is so great. We have all been where you are and we can love you and support you through this difficult time. Don't go it alone let us help as much as we can and know that God is faithful and it will get better someday.
    Cath
  4. 143alan

    143alan New Member

    I've thought about you often and wondered how you were. I'm sorry you are feeling the way you are. Lms, caffey and tigress have all said some pretty amazing and true things. Please listen to them. I don't need to say anything else because it would just be repeating them and they all put it so well. Don't give up! Prayer does help, keep a prayer journal so you can look back later and see all the prayers God answered.

    He answered my prayer...you're still with us!!! You're still an amazing talent. I checked out your new pic. I love it!!!

    Reread what Caffey wrote, she is right on target for what you are asking. God is our heavenly father and just like earthly parents we are not always going to agree with them and we are going to argue with them. That my friend is a normal relationship with God and is not sinful...:)!!

    Hang in there, hey I just thought of something. Have you tried having your artwork printed off on card stock or something framable and selling it at local fairs or asking local vendors to show them. Local resturants here hang the work of local artists and the pic has the business card of the artist with the price of the piece on the card. If someone wants to buy it they pull the card off and call you about it. You check your work around town to replace missing cards if a peice didn't sell. It's a really cool way to get local talent seen.

    Take care, and don't give up.
    Love Ya
    Nancy
  5. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Hello Lms526, caffey, Tigress and Nancy, thank you for writing me.I can tell you something more about myself: Unfortunately I got only one friend now and he's not Christian (he opposes to Christianity badly). And I'm quite sure he got some depression and becomes a little bit cynical, although he doesn't admit. I can't share anything about him besides food or drink or some jokes....I'm living in an empty space. I always dream of meeting new friends but I Know I can't because of serious self-esteem problem. I try to learn more about Christianity just by myself so I guess I might get to some misunderstanding about faith. I always pray to God, I hope he will change/open my mind.
    I was suggested to visit counseller, but I cannot afford due to unstable income. I'm not sure if I can pray to God to give me much more opportunities to work because It sounds so practical. I do try hard to look for more work but it's not easy here for people like me at my age. I always feel I waste this space for me, I'm not productive.
    I thank this board a lot. This is the only place I can say something. In fact I feel much better after I post this message. This board works better than praying (although you might disagree). At least I can get replies........

    By the way, happy birthday to you Nancy. It's a bit late to say hope you don't mind.
  6. 143alan

    143alan New Member

    Thanks GRO for the birthday wishes. When is your birthday?


    Tigress*** Unless I'm mistaken, getridof is a guy!!

    Correct me GRO if I'm wrong, I got that from your profile.
  7. caffey

    caffey New Member

    Have you tried to find a good evangelical church? Where people can love you and support you. Some have free counselling or on a sliding scale according to your income. God put you here for a reason. You have a purpose or you wouldn't be here. You aren't going anywhere until He says so. You need to have some contact with phsyical people. God loves you so much and doesn't mean for you to go through life alone. I would suggest you start reading in the Bible in the New Testament starting in the Books of Galations, Ephesians, and Phillipians and the verses that jump out at your personalize them. That will help you on your journey of self-esteem. Just think on Jesus loves you so much and has a plan for your life. Things He want done that only you can do. Let it sink deep into you. That will blow your mind. By the way I think Nancy is right. You are a guy?
    Cath
  8. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Yes, I'm a guy. It's a bit embarrassed. It seems I'm the only male on this board who's suffering and seeking help like a kid....that's why I always said I'm at kid-level knowledge in religion and faith.

    [This Message was Edited on 05/05/2007]
  9. getridof

    getridof New Member

    ???....Forgive me, I have no idea what's going on. Hope I didn't cause any argument because of my post....wish you all well.

    Getridof
  10. caffey

    caffey New Member

    You have not done anything wrong. Please do not withdraw from this board. We are here for you. Ask God to show you what truth is.
    Cath
  11. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Thank you for writing me. I was still physically and mentally tired for the whole day, but I didn't make any complaints in my prayer. Hope this is a good sign. I feel strange why I can share my feeling here but not anyone close around me. So please continue to pray for me and all members.

    Well, I see the font is special. It's like the old style typewriter-font. Looks nice. And makes those few lines look like some note.
  12. getridof

    getridof New Member

    Thank you for your encouragement and prayer. I always feel the calm inside me when I read the prayers for me from the members here. I do really hope God will send someone (no matter who, male, female, old man or even a kid) to me that I have chances to talk in a frank way.

    You ask,"Are there any practical changes you can make? Are you fearful of making changes or are there no choices?" These are pretty accurate questions to me. At the moment I would say NO, I don't think I'm capable to make changes, and of course no choices. and I'm not sure if I'm fearful of making changes. According to my experience, I always chose the wrong thing at similar situation as now. And it led to bad results. I think this is the major bothering to my mind, I'm stuck with no clue. And this is what I always pray for to get the solutions (maybe at least some hints). I will keep praying and learning.
  13. ixoye

    ixoye New Member

    Dear getridof,

    I didn't forget about you, I just wanted to try and straighten out a few problems first with the people on this board. I haven't decided yet where I will be posting my site, "Biblical Facts, Get Your Prayers Answered" but I wanted to let you know that I just left a powerful message on the thread Sweet Potato named ixoye. Please take a look this message is meant for everyone.

    God bless,

    ixoye
  14. ixoye

    ixoye New Member

    The truth shall prevail

    Psalm 35:1-3

    The Lord contends with those who contend with me; He fights against those who fight against me! I take hold of the shield and buckler, and stand up for my help! I draw out also the spear and javelin and close up the way of those who pursue and persecute me. The Lord is my deliverance!

    Isaiah 54:17

    No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against me in judgment I shall show to be in the wrong. This (peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition) is the heritage of the servants of the Lord.

    Thank you Jesus

    Amen

    ixoye
  15. ixoye

    ixoye New Member

    The Parable of Sowing - Where you are in life is a result of seeds you have sown? Everything begins with words. They are the means by which we get things to happen in our lives. In this single message by Dr. Creflo A. Dollar, you will discover that words are an essential part of the system that God has put in place to get your needs met. Don't settle for less than what God has for you. It's time to do what it takes to live in God's best.


    Dear Getridof-

    There is nothing wrong with you at all, you just haven’t been given the right teaching.

    The answers to prayers is available for everyone, but spiritual laws are in effect and if we don’t know how to operate in them, then we will live defeated lives.

    Check out what Jesus did in my life, (on the praise Jesus thread,) when I put these laws into effect.

    I highly recommend that everyone listen to this powerful teaching by Creflo Dollar.


    It will change your life!

    Click on Creflo Dollar Ministries
    and listen to May 8 & 9 teachings on his web site.


    Hope all is well.

    God Bless,
    ixoye