Nursing Home Decision

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by WorriedDaughter1, Oct 23, 2003.

  1. WorriedDaughter1

    WorriedDaughter1 New Member

    I am doing research on behalf of my mother/parents to help my Dad make a decision of where my mother will go in the coming months. She is entering Stage 6 of Alzheimers.

    They live a 6 hour drive from me (I am the closest of the 3 kids). My father understandably wants them to stay in their small home town. But I'm not finding specialized facilities to deal with dementia there. Even garden variety skilled nursing in that area will likely require my Dad to drive 30 minutes one way to see her. He has wet macular degeneration in one eye. So, who knows how long he would be able to keep that up.

    I would much prefer them to move to Louisville, KY, where I live. There are several facilities here with a continuum of care from independent living to skilled nursing with specialized care for Mom. They could be in different parts of the same facility and Dad wouldn't have to drive to see her. Also, as it became necessary for Mom to have more care, she wouldn't have to change facilities.

    Can any of you who have made a nursing home decision for a spouse offer some encouragement to my father?

    He is fighting feelings of guilt to have to make this decision at all. Your stories of how this move has helped you and your spouse could help him very much. I'd also take encouragement to move here <g>. But in the interest of fairness, I'll share your viewpoint even if it doesn't happen to be my own.

    Thank you.

  2. WorriedDaughter1

    WorriedDaughter1 New Member

    I appreciate your response. Yes, it certainly would be a relief to me. But it'll be a real trick if I can pull it off. Dad's pretty resistant to moving at this point.

    I'm trying to accept that all I can do is provide him the information. If he doesn't do it now, I feel it's just postponing the inevitable.

    Thanks again.