o/t question about drug rehab

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sixtyslady, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    well I know this isn"t about fibro, but thought maybe some one would know how I can help my Grandbaby , he,s 18 and been on drugs for the last couple of yrs, he's also a drunk.
    My daughter & son -in-law kicked him out because they just could"t take anymore they have 2 younger ones at home, and some counceler told them to just kick him out.
    I told my daughter last year that if she would sign him over to me I would put him in rehab, she would"t do it.
    he trys to work but can't hold a job because of his habits, I don't know who he lives with but hes on probation and I got the news that he doesn't even have shoes to wear , Is there anyway I could get the Judge to order him to rehab if hes found drinking again, he"ll go to jail.any suggestion will help. brokenhearted Grandma, hugs sixtyslady
  2. Lendy5

    Lendy5 New Member

    Hi sixtyslady, I know this must be very difficult times for you right now. I am not for sure from state to state but in our state you (relative) can have a family member involuntarily committed into rehab for this problem.

    Even though it sounds painful the only person that has to first help his self is your grandson. I know it is painful to understand that but it's true. I use to work with teenagers on drugs and alcohol and they have to want help.

    If he gets caught breaking probation and goes to jail it might be the solution to get him off of drugs and alcohol.

    Good Luck and I will say a prayer for you and your family.



  3. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    I know that some of the treatment centers actually prefer that they have nothing, no job, no home, indigent, etc. That way, the centers get either federal or state money for them.

    Most of the people that I know that were ordered to rehab, were done so after having been arrested for the next offense, or for a violation of probation.

    I can check on some things and get back to you. My hubby works (voluntarily) with helping place a lot of people in treatment centers, so he'll know more than I do. I don't know if you could get him "ordered" into treatment unless he violates probation or something. I'll see what I kind find out.

    Do you know the Judge well enough to talk to him/her about it? I'm assuming that having your Grandson voluntarily go into treatment is not an option....??
  4. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    You are so decent. First, the parents no longer have any legal control over this boy as he is 18. You can contact him yourself and ask if he needs help to overcome his addictions that are ruining his life. But please understand that the parents may have had just cause for giving up on him and he may do the same thing to you.

    So ask, then point him in the right direction. The worse thing he can say is "no".

    Love Anne Cromwell
  5. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    I don"t know if Michael would go ,or not but he just wonders around town. he gets so drunk that he pees his pants, I don"t know what kind of drugs hes on.
    but I"d do anything to help him, I know he has to want help but DR Phil says, your talking to the drugs not the kid. so how do you get through to them,
    He was a senior last year and dropped out in april, he did ask his mom to see if he could go back this year and finish, but I don't think they"ll let him .
    hes never been in any kind of trouble except, drinking as a minor, but he has a serious problem. I"m afraid that he.s going to drink so much that HE"ll die from it.
    They live in a very small town and even the parents do drugs, the local funeral director was just arrested for it.
    the cops have even been involed with getting under age girls booze for favors,its just a drug ridden little town.
    any thing would help. thanks Sixtyslady
  6. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

  7. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

  8. AbbeyMae

    AbbeyMae New Member

    I know this is not helping you with your illnesses at this time.

    I am originally from a Chicago suburb. When there is no money like in most cases of addiction, there are County substance abuse centers, at least there use to be.

    Here in AZ and maybe there, Salvation Army has a strict in-patient program, but the person has to willingly go and be willing to adhere to the rules. Also there needs to be an open bed.

    Have you checked out the community resources? We have an Information and Referral phone # here that points you to available services and their phone #'s. You may find info. to something like this through The Illinois Dept. of Economic and Security(DES). You may find their phone # in the phone directory possibly the blue pages.

    I will keep you and your grandson in my prayers. I don't want to tell you my war story. But believe me, Ive been through this with my children.

    Love and hugs,

  9. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    Do you want him staying with you?If so why not take him in and lay some ground rules.

    You also when your sure hes sober need to have a heart to heart with him.Tell him your concern and how much you care about him.Really express your love for him.

    Seeing that he wanted to finish school maybe you can offer to help him.Suggest you will go to counseling together as a team to beat this evil thing.

    My Dad was an alcoholic and than stopped in 1974 the day my daughter was born .He went to a rehab center and got clean.Than he went to college and got a degree in counseling.We were so proud of him.He volunteered his time as a counselor foe alcoholics and drug users.

    My suggestion is to stay in complete contact with him.I do not know if you live near each other but believe me it will be a start .He really needs to know that someone really cares and loves him.Thats were you should begin.

    I also know that he needs to want to help himself.He needs to take those steps with someone who cares.I do know that there are plenty of rehab places that will let him visit and talk to others who have had the same problems as him.

    I do not blame you for being scared .That he might loose his life.In some way he already has lost it.You need to tell him this.Everything you tell him must be said while hes sober.If he cant stay with you maybe he can visit for a few days till he sobers up.If hes as bad as you say it will take a few days for him to sober up.

    He will have the DTs it will be rough but once he makes it through that you should be able to sit and chat.

    If you let me know what state your in Ill call some of my Dads old friends who he had helped to see whats best were you are.

    Hugs and my thoughts are with you and your grandson.

  10. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    I thank you so much, we raised 7 kids and none of them where on drugs,I told them if I thought they where using I would make them take a drug test and turn them in, They all tell me they knew I would ,so they didn"t use them.
    I just feel so bad for Michael he did it to fit in and became the clown for his group, now hes hooked and doesn"t know any different.
    I"m going to see what I can find out about rehab for him. if he ask he,s Mom to help him get back in school maybe he would consider going to rehab and finishing school there,
    thanks so much. sixtyslady
  11. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    thank you so much we"re from Il, my Grandson lives in another town about 20 miles away, I don"t know where he stays. maybe hes younger sister could tell me.
    My husband and I would bring him home with us if he could sober up,but I think he just is to far gone,
    he really needs professional help.
    which we will do everything in our power to get him.
    Is parents will probably never speak to us again but they just don"t want to be embaressed by him.
    I don"t care what people think I just want to help my Grandson get back on the right track.
    his Dad has a state job and ins would have paid for treatment last year but he didn"t want people to find out.
    I don"t know what they thought this boy was going to do out on his own,or how that was going to help him get better.thanks for all the help. hope your Dads friends have some ideas for us .sixtyslady
  12. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    I will call a few of my Dads friends tomorrow.I'm hoping they know about IL and the help that is available there.

    Please find your grandson and take him to breakfast or lunch and have that heart to heart talk.

    My Dad passed away a few years ago.I miss him so much.But thats what he used to do.Was find someone and have the heart to heart talk.He would tell them that there is someone who cares and its him.It worked for a few that he helped .He would go to the rehab with them and stay if they needed him to.

    I will see what I can come up with.

    I will say a special prayer at mass tomorrow for you and your grandson.

  13. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    thanks so much for all the info.
    we are going to try and find Michael and take him to eat and get him some shoes and let him know that we"re here for him and will help him go to rehab, when he s ready.

    other than that I"m not going to give him money or take him in. I just pray that God some how gets through to him so he can come to us and go to rehab.

    we have a lady that lives about 2 blocks from us and someone next door to her was selling drugs she turned them in,and got them busted.started a neighborhood watch group and put a banner on her garage that said drug free neighborhood.
    Our town is really making progress in getting rid of it.
    the local sheriff department even had a billboard as you come into town.letting people know that they fight it in this town.

    I"ll keep you posted if we make any progress.
    God Bless sixtyslady