O.T. review at work... stressed out

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by nanna4550, Mar 21, 2006.

  1. nanna4550

    nanna4550 New Member

    Had a review at work today. Needless to say, it wasn't good. I have been at this type of work for 26 years. I didn't get much encouragement, nobody said "good job, thanks for your effort". I was just told that my work was "as if I didn't care about the quality".
    The really sad part about it is that I try to do my best at all times and try to do a good job. I thought I used to be good at what I did and now I'm reduced to "poor quality".
    I just want to cry, but no tears will come. I want to do well, but I don't know why I can't. I feel like I'm just an old woman and I have wasted my life on a career that turned out to be futile. Where is it going to go from here but downhill. After this much time I can't just do something else - can I? I'm almost 54 years old, how much energy do I have to devote to a new career? And do I have the stamina to compete in the business world with younger and smarter children? What a joke.

    I know there is nothing you can do for me, I just needed to tell someone how very disappointed I am with how this is all playing out. I know it does me no good to be sad about it. At what point do I just face the fact that my abilities to function at my current job have ended- do I wait until they decide to let me go? If I quit, I don't even get unemployment until I can find something else and what kind of reference will they give me if I wasn't doing well? Who will hire me? I wish I knew what to do.

    Thanks for listening.
  2. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I hear what you are saying. In December, my brother was fired from his job of 12 years. He just could not keep up with the younger workers. He is age 58 and drives a truck. The employer ran him all over for two weeks straight with alot of overtime in the rain. He was exhausted.

    I felt so bad for him, he also has fibromyalgia and some degenerative disc problems. In retrospect if he had known they were going to set him up to lose his job, he would have been proactive to file for disability or a workers' compensation claim, before it happened.

    He was actually hurt at work a few years back and still has problems from the accident. (fell off back of truck).

    So my dear, keep in mind whatever you may be able to do to benefit yourself before they do anything.

    It is a sad thing employers are so cruel and don't recognize the many contributions of their employees when bad times come along.

    My brother was soooo loyal to this company, always talking about what a good company etc. They even tried to deny his unemployment but it didn't work. He appealed and the employment judge was so mad and gave him his back pay and unemployment.

    All I can tell you is, if you really feel they are setting you up to fire you, think of anything you can do beforehand to protect yourself.

    It is terribly unfair to suck you dry for 26 years then throw you away like yesterday's garbage. If you are having problems, why can't they help you...

    Take care

    [This Message was Edited on 03/22/2006]
  3. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    Honey, I feel for you! I am 52 and really honey, even without the FMS/CFS as we age our cognitive functions do go down. The FMS/CFS just adds to it. Of course we can't keep up with 20 somethings, but what we lack in speed, we make up in the knowledge of doing our jobs for 25 plus years!

    I know that my evaluations are not what they were 3 years ago when I was first diagnosed with this DD after a hysterectomy, but even before the FMS, menopause was doing a number on my cognitive functions. Also, I think that there is an age bias in a lot of companies and if you have managers younger than yourself, they tend to think we should all be put out to pasture when we hit 50!

    I know it upset me at first to get a lower evaluation as I was always on the high side for all my 30 years of working at this job. But, I had to put that aside and go on as I need to make it to retirement age so I can be eligible for medical coverage.

    Honey, I would advise you to stick with your job as long as you can, especially if you need so many years to qualify for retirement benefits. Changing jobs now, just based on a lower evaluation than you are used to may not be in YOUR best interest. You have given them your BEST years, if you quit now, they have won, because they will have succeeded in getting rid of an employee who probably makes more money than someone they will hire to replace you. Don't let them push you out!

    Companies are only concerned about the bottom line and don't care a fig about long-term, loyal employees. Also, finding a new job in your 50's will be tough. Just let all this go over your head and just keep doing the good job you are doing.

    You ARE a good employee! Dont' let them tell you otherwise!

    Take care, Sally
  4. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    I am a couple of years older than you. Around your age I just said 'No more' and decided I would never work again.
    And I have not. I got on SSD, got divorced, recieved alimony and the house and now dabble in stocks on my PC. In other words I keep my head above water. My body just said I could not continue.
    You might know when it is time and maybe can plan ahead for that time. After all: we are not getting any younger. I know exactly how you feel.

  5. Kinsie

    Kinsie New Member

    I think Sally is right in what she said.

    I have just begun to experience this type of thing at my job. I've been here 22 years. At one time my knowledge and dedication was appreciated. Now I'm not so sure.

    About 2 years ago our office was bought by a huge corporation. The benefits are better, but how much time you have in, and what you know don't seem to be the thing anymore.

    At one time if a couple of us "old timers" had quit we would have really been missed. Now, I think they wouldn't mind if we left. For one reason they have hired a man to be our manager, and they have hired his wife, and son to work here too. Well, that's not the best arrangement. Guess who gets put above everybody else?

    This new company is not as concerned about every i being dotted, and every t being crossed like we were used to doing. What we know isn't as important as just being able to operate a computer, and learn some basics. Mistakes are tolerated much more now.

    I'm 58, and would like to hang around until I'm at least 62. Who knows what will happen though.

    My husband told me not to quit. He said if they ever want us older ones to go, let them fire us. He keeps telling me not to let my feelings get in the way. I have good benefits, and there's no reason just to walk away from it.

    But, on the other hand. If a person gets fired, this could be a negative toward them getting another job. So, you have to do what's right for you.

    I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel.


  6. pemaw54

    pemaw54 New Member

    Im so sorry this has happened to you now with this disease too. Im 51 and finally had to take pension disability a yr and ahalf ago. I was very good at what I did! and it broke my heart to leave. I couldnt stand the stress anymore. A different school I worked at several yrs ago wanted me gone from the first day. I couldnt understand what was going on.

    I was doing an excellent job but they continued to harrass me everyday. I finally walked out one day and took the family medical leave act for 6 wks and had the school bd find me a different placement. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was back in a loving environment.

    Sometimes, God has another plan for us and what feels like the end of the world at the time will turn into a blessing. I wish you luck, and remember, you are loved and appreciated here.

  7. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    3 years ago I worked for a very prestigious biotech company. Great benefits, the whole package.

    The corporate culture at this company was such that if you "sucked it up", "played the game" etc you did well as an employee. Supposedly they valued individuality, people bold enough to speak their minds, thinking "out of the box".

    But come to find out when I did, my manager felt I was a "loose" cannon. I went from a model employee, promotions and raises every couple of years for my entire career to the bottom of the barrel because I remained exactly the person they HIRED for the job in the first place.

    Instead of thinking outside the box everyone spent all their time trying to squish themselves INTO a box. So after my second negative performance review, a 0% raise, and two years of agony, with me coming home and crying every day, I quit and went to work for a company that did want me for who I was. It was the best decision I ever made - but it was the worst also - I'm not used to admitting failure. I felt that somehow, I was doing something wrong and there must be something I could do to make things better but I just wasnt "finding" it.

    At my exit interview they actually asked me why I was leaving the company! "Umm, let's see, cruddy performance review for the second year in a row and a whopping zero percent raise..." Hello??? My husband cheered "Finally!" when I left.

    Turns out, my boss, who made me feel that I was the worst employee he ever hired, got fired from his position with the company very shortly thereafter and has subsequently been "let go" from the next two companies he has worked for.

    You are a woman of honor and dignity and deserve respect. Remember that. Remember also that you cannot control how people react to you, you can only control how you react to them. Now, I am not stupid enough to not acknowledge that your age makes it more difficult to be hired, BUT you have to balance that versus your level of misery on the job.

    Your health and well-being are important. If you are absolutely miserable in this job, your health and emotional well-being will suffer. My husband said the same thing to me about my horrifying job "It's just a job, that stuff doesn't matter, etc., etc." Easier said than done with my personality. I take my job very seriously, and I have always demanded the most from myself - more than any employers expectations.

    But my self esteem was hideously eroded, bit by bit. I started at that company as a motivated, successful go-getter and an "original" personality - I left that job as a miserable shell - worried about every single word I said to anybody - would it get me in trouble? Constantly second guessing myself to the point of indecision. This employer did a number on me.

    I read my Mom in some of what you're saying. She has given up and decided that she will never look for another job again - so she stays at a position that she doesn't really like, with people she doesn't like, watching them hire the "sweet-young things" that leave as soon as they are trained to get higher paying positions elsewhere. She feels the security is worth it. I disagree. It takes a toll on every aspect of her life, while she quietly pretends that it doesn't.

    Now, my Aunt, who's in her late fifties, had a job like that and stayed to the point that the "sweet young thing" was hired to be HER boss at a higher pay grade than my Aunt and my Aunt had to TRAIN the chickie to even do the job because her actual SKILLS were non-existent. My aunt is a breast-cancer survivor - she decided that life is too short for her to be working even for a few more years longer at a job she hated. She quit, collected unemployment and went on interviews. You would think that she might have a difficult time, medical history of cancer, etc. Nope. She nailed her current job on the first interview and she loves what she's doing again.

    I am absolutely convinced that it was her attitude of empowerment that made all the difference. It makes a person stand out from all the others and employers NEED you as an asset to their company.

    Todays job world is different - loyalty means nothing in a marketplace where the average time in one position is 3 years. Most of the younger workforce want the money, period - and they have no compunction about doing things like leaving a job after 3 months to go to work for the company that dangled a higher salary. Most employers see value only in their bottom lines and whether you are an addition or a subtraction to that.

    But there are still companies around that do believe in those ethics. They're just harder to find and require more patience to root out, but they exist. My current company is a family-owned business. I am valued for the person that I am, not someone I have to pretend to be. Granted, at times we are a very dysfunctional family, but perfection isn't truly attainable on this earth anyhow.

    As long as you are discreet about it in your current position, it won't hurt to look around. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

    Remember that age and treachery outfox youth every time!

    Madame Curie

  8. nanna4550

    nanna4550 New Member

    You are all so great. I really appreciate all of your support. I still don't know what I'm going to do, except make the best of it for now. You are absolutely right, I am not stuck there and I have plenty of options.
    All of you are so fabulous.
    LOL, Nanna

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