O.T. Woman understands this (funny?)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sues1, Jun 16, 2006.

  1. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Estrogen, and Women

    PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.

    "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

    10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

    1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
    2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
    3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
    4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
    5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
    7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".

    9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
    10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..

    TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
    10. Cats' facial expressions.
    9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
    8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
    7. Fat clothes.
    6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
    5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
    4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
    3. Eyelash curlers.
    2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.



    AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand:

    1. OTHER WOMEN

  2. tammy21

    tammy21 New Member

    That has brought a big smile to my face. thanks for sharing that with us.

    Take care

    Tammy
  3. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I can relate!

    I particularly like this one.....

    5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".

    SOunds like something I would do when I am PMS'ing
  4. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    Thanks for the laugh Sues1. I can relate to most of them, especially the estrogen issues.

    I've been in a flare all week and didn't get to go and have my monthly hormone injection last week. I'm paying for it now and searching frantically for the chocolate chips for the omelette......
  5. Jordane

    Jordane New Member

    Those were perfect!!!

    Every woman should have this!!

    Thanks for sharing!!!!!!:>)

    Jordane