OCUH DARN, Pain in my whole body I hate this

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jul 20, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Last night as I was writing there was a HUGE STORM that blew in with thunder adn lightning. And that MACK TRUCK was there too. I knew that it was comming as I could hear it reving it's engine. I tred to get away from it . I tried to hide but the darn thing found me and flattened me any way.

    So now along with my stiff achey legs, hips, thighs, and feet. My back is hurting so much that it hurts to sit and type. How I hate that mack truck. And I dispise this dd as it is taking so much time from me. Time that I could do things with like painting things for my grandkids and family. But because of this horriable pain that I am in I can't paint as well and it hurts to.

    I know that I use that phrase about the "Mack TRUCK " Alot but there are times when the pain hits so suddenly that I do feel like I have been flattened by a large truck and run over , & it backs over me again. My knees are so stiff that they don't move well and the pain is becoming worse for me. I can't do my swimming like I want to do as we haev a "OUT DOOR POOL" And when there are black clouds in the sky they shut it down as fast as they can and even if it clears up they don't open it back up until the next day.

    It does not cost that much to do the deep end water arobics but most of the classes are at 5 - 6 am and me and that time of day don't know each other as I have finally gotten to sleep and a deep one at that time of morning. And I really need the sleep.

    The other time for that class is from 8:30-9:30pm and that is better but so far they have had to cancel it because of the sudden storms we have had. EVen though there has been no rain till last night , if is coody the pool close's and the class is canceled.

    I have not been able to get the times of class's from the other high schools in the area and I don't know if they have this class it is called Hydrofit and it is deep end water arobics and I love it.

    AS it is the only time that I have no weight on any part of my body as I hang from the float tube that is around my upper arms and I can just hang there and not touch any thing and that feels so great to be weighless and to feel so free from pain.

    But i have to find out if I can use the other schools pools. AS I said our school had a pool but then the city went and built this huge new auqa center that is only used durning the summer months and that is it.

    So I need to call the other high schools to find out when there programs are and what time they are at. Most are in the early morning and early mon=rning and I don't mix well. So I need to find a school that has this hydrofit program and has it at night and I do wish that it was earlier than 8:30 pm because that puts me going to bed later than I really want to go to bed. EVen though i am still awake now I would like to try and get to sleep earlier.

    But I am so sick of pain and that darn amck truck. How is it that I can I hurt in so many palces at one time? I had my doctor's appt changed to the 26th of the month and I will ask my doctor about what type of pool progrqam he thinks is best for me.

    I am just tired and in pain today, stiff and feel like I have been brusied all over my body yet there are no marks on me. I feel like I have beeen thrown around and trodden upon and yet there are no marks on my body . I feel beaten adn bruiesed and just hurt so much and uyet there are no out wards sign of this pain and it is so frusterating to me. I sometimes wonder if people would accept me if I shoulded that I was brusied and look like I have a reason for my pain? Would it help me to get better care? Or more assistance? I don't know. I know that my fingers are losing their dextarity as are my hands and my wrists. My back had been hurting more andmore as time goes on. And I really don't get it .

    Yes I know that I have fibro adn MPS but why is it that I keep on hurting worse ? Waht am I doing wrong? Or am I? I guess that i had better write these questions down so taht i will remember to ask my pain doctor when I see him on the 26th.

    I don't want much out of life. Just to be able to hold a new grandbaby adn know that while I am walking around I will not trip andfall and hurt us both. My daughter would not let me carry the baby when he was small as she was afarid that I would drop him or trip adn fall. So as a grandmother i imssed out on all the cuddling and walking with this baby and what about the new one that is on the way will I be albe to walk around with her or him? who know. I jsut wnat a normal life one not filled with pain and tears.

    I am so bummed to night. I am just sick of this never ending pain. I just had a phone call that was for my hubby and as I don't have a phone down stairs I was trying to walk fast to get the phone to him but by the time my body was not so stiff from sitting here and typing the person on the phone hung up. I know that they must think thta I was not going to get him to the phone as it was a bill collector but what they don't know is that I just don't move like I used to do.

    Now to walk I have to be albe to stand up and not be stiff in my knees , hips, and back. And my fingers are stiffing up as well so I can't crasp the phone as well as I once did.
    People don't know this as they are just calling for what ever reason and they don't know about my having fibro or the MPS so I am just to slow for them and they hang up and when they call beck again it will be the same thing all over again.

    People who don't know me don't understand that it is so hard to do the daily things like walking , standing, sitting and other such things. They don't see me hunched over in pain trying to walk as fast as my stiff legs will move and they are not moving very fast.

    I am so fursterated with this pain and stiffness and I hurt so much now that I am in tears. What would have happened if this was a important call would I have been able to get the phone to him as fast as I needed to? NO ,as my phone upstairs has a low battery and so I have the one from my bed room, it would not matter if the phone was down stairs or not as my hubby is hard of hearing adn he has his TV turned on HIGH !!!! and can't hear the darn phone ring. Nor will he pick it up if it is down there as 90% of all phone calls are for me.

    Oh well I have reached the end of my rope today and I am going to take mybath and my night time meds and go to bed.

    Sorry for all the whineing.
    Rosemarie
  2. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

  3. Neicee99

    Neicee99 New Member

    Hi Rosemarie,

    I am terribly sorry you are in so much pain. I can COMPLETELY relate with the "mack truck" explanation. I too get that feeling everyday and it seems to be getting worse. My feet hurt so badly, my back, my hips, etc. and the Vicodin works for a few hours and back to the same old pain. If a phone call is really important than that person will call back. If not, then the heck with them. I used to be a slave to the phone but now if I cannot get to it in time, I let the machine pick it up instead of trying to race to answer it. What are you taking for pain medications? I feel the same way. Why am I not getting better, why do I feel worse?

    I have Lupus, relapsing polychondritis, Fibro, and IBS so pain is here all the damn time! Sometimes I get so sick and tired of it I sit down and have a good cry for 5 minutes and then I feel a bit better, well, psychologically only. I have 3 children and a hubby that travels half of each month and sometimes the pain is so bad that I cannot make dinner for my girls. Thankfully, my oldest is 15.5 and my second oldest is 12 and they help out in those instances when I need them to. I am truly blessed with my wonderful family.

    Hang in there. There are plenty of us in the same boat with you and you are absolutely not whining at all. You are only telling us how fed up you are with pain. We all do it.

    Hugs
    Neicee