Not that this ever has been fun. You get this rush of excitement because someone in a white coat finally gave it a name. You have a good week and then all of the sudden somebody pulls the rug out from underneath you. I haven't slept in 2 days. I think it is the darvocet. Without the davrocet I can't walk without pain. I'm watching a cheesy movie and blogging because my brain won't let me do much more. I SHOULD be at work. I have customers whose million dollar networks aren't running and I USED to fix those for them. I have a new office roomie and I know that God personally sent him to me, because he has been taking the burden off of me by handling my customers. Then I tell myself "I'm using this as an excuse to watch cheesy movies and blog on the computer. I'm just feeling sorry for myself and want to practice the "L" word (lazy) today". But if that was true, I would get out of this chair, take a shower, put on my makeup, do my hair, and go to work. The thought alone has exhausted me. Now a colleague is concerned that we won't have afternoon coverage today because he has an appointment but I can't, I just can't do it. I can't go in. I feel like a useless human being but I physically can't do it. My kitchen is the victim of a scud attack, I have nothing clean to wear if I ever DO make it back to work, and I have to empty all of the bedroom furniture that I sold on Monday by 7:00 tonight. I've had 3 days. I CAN'T and I know at least everyone here understands that I WANT TO, but I just can't. Then I think, ok, I can do this. I'll crawl to the pool because the water always helps. I'll toss a slightly worn outfit into the dryer with a dryer sheet, and I'll somehow put some makeup on and do my hair. But then I have to drive there. I can't. They just don't understand I can't. I still have my job and I want to keep it but I just can't.