Okay, is this CFS, just plain fatigue, or am I mentally ill?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CinCA, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    After a reasonably good/somewhat productive day, it happened again. BAM...all of a sudden, I totally "lose it". Meaning I can't concentrate or think straight at all, rather than have a meltdown. I had been perusing this message board, understanding each post I read, etc., and then I get up from the computer, and it's like my brain can't transition. I almost got disoriented/not sure where I was when I got into the hallway, which actually isn't that surprising as we just moved into a new, totally different style rental home after living in our little place for 8 years. I had to think a minute to remember my daughter had fallen asleep on her little couch downstairs after throwing a huge fit and I hadn't yet moved her to her room. She had wet her overnight diaper, and I first put it straight in the trash without then taking it out and remembering to put it in a ziplock bag so it wouldn't smell. Her untouched ravioli from dinner was still sitting in her bowl...it took a minute for me to remember making it...and I ended up just dumping it into the pot with the rest and putting the pot in the fridge, partly 'cause I was too tired and partly 'cause hubby's coming home in a couple hours from a business trip and probably will be starving despite it being well after midnight.

    I then took a few things upstairs and couldn't remember where to put a top in my closet. The laundry basket is gone from next to the bed, where I had been folding laundry earlier, but I can't remember taking it back downstairs to the laundry room, although I think that's where it is. The cat needed food...not sure if I gave her some and fresh water this morning or not. I have no idea when I last changed the litter box, but it smelled, so I'll do it tomorrow.

    I feel marginally better after downing a quick glass of milk, and I had a very late lunch so I didn't eat dinner, so maybe it's a blood sugar thing despite my not feeling hungry whatsoever. Or maybe this is par for the CFS/FM "brain fog", which has been setting in again with the move (3 weeks ago), esp. in the past week as hubby's been away on business. Or maybe I really am mentally ill, as doctors were so quick to write me off as when I first saw an MD with what I now know to be CFS symptoms.

    Am I crazy, or is this just the crazy part of dealing with CFS? Thanks for any insights.

    C.
  2. marw

    marw New Member

    I have not been diagnosed with CFS (yet) but I do have FMS. This sounds exactly like the "brain fog" part to me. It's horrible when it first starts and you do feel like you are going crazy, but you are not. Do not let any docs write you off that way. You certainly don't seem crazy to me.

    I've only had 1 bad spell of what was probably CFS, although I am tired a lot with the FMS....but that time was unforgetable! I felt like I couldn't lift my arm, and my knees buckled when I walked. It passed on off, so I am back to my usually, pain, tiredness, and mentally "forgetting"things a lot. YOu get used to it. ANd it does not get worse.

    You are fine. But sounds like you have a lot on your mind anyway if you just moved.

    I've not been here long myself, so just getting the lay of the land, but people are really nice here. You gets lots of support, so keep coming back and posting, won't you?

    Hope the fog lifts soon! We've all been there!

    Nice to meet you,
    Margaret
  3. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    I checked this site one more time before bed. I know I'm exhausted but I can't sleep...probably the iced tea I downed when going to pick my daughter up from school (it's been a long week with hubby gone).

    Well, it's good to know I'm not utterly losing it. The brain fog does seem to definitely get worse/get triggered by watching TV or being on the computer sometimes. It's like my mind gets "stuck" and can't switch tasks. Anyone else have this happen? I've asked my doctor and he has never heard of it. BTW, I feel a little better now. It's so weird how the "fog" comes and goes so quickly. I had this bad maybe 2-3 mo. ago, but I thought I was getting over it. Frustrating.

    Thanks much.
    C.
  4. LittleBluestem

    LittleBluestem New Member

    I think low blood sugar could be a factor. I had hypoglycemia before I got CFS, but it is worse with the CFS. I also now have no appetite. I could be experiencing definite low blood sugar symptoms and still not feel the least bit hungry. Keeping myself on a regular food/liquid/supplement/medication schedule is the most grueling part of CFS for me.

    Low blood sugar and lack of appetite are fairly common among those with CFS. Try eating more frequent, small meals. Eat as often as every three hours. Include some protein and/or fat in every mini-meal to keep your blood sugar from ‘bouncing’.

    With hypoglycemia, your blood sugar can drop so low that you pass out. You do not want that to happen to you when you are the only one with your small daughter.
  5. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Although now I get so tired it's like I can't even tell if I am hungry or not (don't get the normal hunger/blood sugar signals). But more often it does just seem to come out of the blue...no apparent trigger whatsoever. It's like my body just hits its max, and anything, no matter what, sends it over the edge. My daughter gets the same way when overstimulated, and she used to have the most terrible meltdowns when she was 2 or 3. Again, nothing directly was the cause...it was like the stressor bricks were stacking up, and then that one last thing sent them crashing down, no matter what that was. I'm adopted from birth, so who knows what's going on, but there are some very interesting parallels between my 4 y.o. daughter and me.

    Thanks again for the helpful advice and reassurance! Hubby makes such nasty remarks about my mood swings (like saying I really am bipolar...he knows nothing about that, by the way), and sometimes it just gets to me and I start to wonder if he's right.

    I so appreciate the support I get on this site...it's the only place I have to turn re: all of this! Thank you so very much!

    C.
  6. BethW

    BethW New Member

    No you are not mentally ill. I have heard many stories over the yrs of people driving along and getting lost even in familiar neighborhoods. I am forever losing things and then after looking all over, I find it is put away or filed in a perfectly logical, organized place. These kinds of blanks are common in CFS. There was a PhD named Sheila Bastien who did a lot of research in the '90's about the types of problems we have. As others have posted, please try not to feel badly about it - not easy is it? I can never remember the name of certain objects, people, etc. It is just gone -even a common object!

    One CFS doctor used to say that one of the best things to do for this and other what I call neurological symptoms is to lay down in a dark room with no stimulation. If this symptom gets too bad, I know it is time for me to stop everything and rest.

    For me, looking at the computer screen or trying to think (like math or certain reading) will do this to me in no time. One of the first things I notice then is that my balance goes completely. I start falling or lurching toward the right or left, usually left. It is so weird. Not long ago a doctor was going over my test results - like 20 pgs and I was trying to concentrate on reading the numbers and what she was saying. I zoned out completely and lurched around the office the whole time I was there. Only a nap or at least dark room dozing will take it away.

    Not fun, but, no, doctors don't usually know about this symptom and no, you are not crazy. My heart goes out to you because it takes time to accept and get used to this symptom. Love and hugs to you, BethW
  7. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    All the reassurance helps so much! I really appreciate all of the support I get on this board...it means a lot!

    C.
  8. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    They may help me, although I know hubby won't read them. He won't hear it, at all, period, and it's not even worth my effort to try anymore. Really. It is just how it is, and I am not being overly negative, depressed, giving up, whatever. Again, this is just how things are with us, and I am so run down and have enough difficulty just handling the basics that I cannot take on the stress of trying counseling (he wouldn't go anyways, and we did it before with no success), etc. I have seriously considered separation or divorce, but that stress would definitely put me over the edge right now. I really just need things to stay the SAME so I can somehow try to regroup and/or just be left alone for awhile to minimize the sensory input. Of course, I've had anything but either of these things, and I am sure this is why things are heading south again.

    Still, I'll do a search for those books. Maybe they can at least give me some insight, and/or my doctor will be interested in them. Thanks so much for the recommendations!

    C.
  9. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Sorry...I am still pretty new to this board and the whole thing. I liked the "spoons" one better, but to be honest, they both were extremely depressing. I am a fiercely independent person with very strong self-will, and I just cannot see myself not beating this and not being able to care for myself. I am okay with letting some things go each day...that started when I was blessed with a severely colicky baby...and I'm getting okay with taking time for myself, although I am horrible about getting rest when I need to.

    Again, I appreciate the links, and they were so sad but so insightful as to when I read other posts on this site, too. Thanks so much for the advice, and for sharing one of your own "spoons" in replying to me!

    C.
  10. smithje77

    smithje77 New Member

    I have been really bad and getting worse over the last year - terrible brain fogs. It seems that on the weekends, or periods of dissability I'm ok (still exausted and sore, but ok) then I get back to work where I am at the computer all day and concentrating all day and I have the exact same thing - jerkyness, off balence, dizzy, and complete confusion - also slur words. Then about 1/2 hr after getting home I'm ok again. Department stores also do this to me - the lighting I think and that's been going on for years!

    It really sucks - but I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

    Good luck.
    -Joy
  11. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Glad I am not the only one, either. I also get the same brain fog/difficulty transitioning (thinking) from watching TV. I don't work at the moment (or rather am employed by my 4 y.o. :) ), but I also do not like flourescent lights and try to stick to natural light whenever I can. Sometimes shopping triggers sensory overload, too, esp. at big grocery stores, Target, Wal-Mart, etc. where there is a lot going on. Esp. where we live now, those stores are so much more crowded than by my old house, so I'm having a very hard time.

    Thanks for replying, and I hope you find answers for your own fatigue, etc. issues, too.

    C.
  12. smithje77

    smithje77 New Member

    I'm going back to the dr today! I can't take this. The nurse suggested that maybe he'll do an MRI to ensure nothing is going on "up there". I am going to ask him what he reccomends - to take time off work or stay working. If I go out on dissability it will pretty much break us, but at this point my health is the #1 priority. I can't do this anymore.

    -Joy
  13. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Let me know if you find out anything promising. I have heard a lot about people being sensitive to flourescent lighting, and the way it flickers can really irritate some people's nervous system/processing. Maybe something like that is going on with you, and me, too.

    Hope your visit goes well, and do keep me posted. Thanks again for sharing your experiences...makes me feel better that I am not the only one, and maybe I really am not going off the deep end!

    C.