going on 14 years now..and just getting worse.. i have a loooong laundry list of diagnosis, such as fybromyalgia..depression, bi polar, social anxiety, nerve damage, even some have said im "faking" :| ... not to mention the shaking from my tremors ive had since birth making things hurt worse. not sleeping for days or maybe an hour a night sometimes because of the pain.. is NOT faking. i wake up on the nights i sleep for an hour tops...either screaming or bawling. my hand hurts so bad anymore that i cant breathe most times.it isnt only my hand but my back..shoulders.. head..legs and feet too..but 1 hand...my left one.. hurts so so bad that i cant even begin to explain... it used to be my right hand..but has moved to my left now... its hugely swollen....and its my main focus at the moment. my insurance is going to be gone soon.. so i know this is it for me.. this is just life for me. i found this sight in hopes for an answer on how i can live with this...maybe a reason..or some glimmer of hope. i have no energy..wich im sure is seen as lazy. my doc doesnt seem to care.. has kind of just a "mehhh" atitude. i guess he thinks i just want drugs... well yeah!! duh!! of corse i do!.. anything that can numb the pain or hekp me sleep is a plus in my book.. but he wont perscribe me anything .. except for ibuprophan.. im on the search to find a doc that can help b4 time runs out and my ins is gone. i feel so bad for my hubby n kids.. they help me out so much...im so lucky to have a family that loves me. sorry for the ranting...but i just woke up bawling...and i just cant take much more.. im so so tired... anyone know a good doc in the kc ks or kc mo area that will help? or maybe someone could offer words of wisdom to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel?