On Emotional rollercoaster/what to do??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by 1maqt, Mar 8, 2003.

  1. 1maqt

    1maqt New Member

    The new meds are working fine, for two weeks I have been on an emotional rollercoaster from haites. I mistrust everyone I know emotionally. I have always been caring gentle and loving. I have no clue what it is, but it feels aweful.

    I have no desire to see anyone, I feel like I have a broken heart, and I don't know how to fix it. I know the line: Life is not fair, and people are cruel. I don't know how I will feel from day to day.There is a deep sadness within me, and I dont know why? Any feed back would be a blessing.

    It feels llike the week after you have lost a loved one. The feeling is right ther on the surfaace, but not always up front.I really feel like an idiot, but I didnt know where else to go ~1maqt~
  2. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Are the new meds causing this? If so you had better talk to the doctor or pharmacist.

    That does not sound good at all. I have days like you described, but it only last a few days at the most, I usually blame it on the fatigue that I get now and then.

    You don't sound like an idiot, if this is how you feel, then the very best thing is to say it and get it out in the open, then you can deal with these feelings.

    But, please find out if this is some kind of side effect of the meds. You can't live like that.

    Take care, and let us know how you are tomorrow.

    Shalom, Shirl
  3. Tattoopixie

    Tattoopixie New Member

    Have you gone through the grieving process yet? If not, maybe that is what is causing this. I pretty much had a nervous breakdown last year when I was going through the gauntlet of Drs who kept telling me nothing was wrong w/me. I started throwing away EVERYTHING I owned that I couldn't give away. My mom caught on & asked me point blank if I was thinking of killing myself & she was right. She asked me to seek help & I did. I take 100mg of zoloft every day for my depression. Without it, I would be dead. I am not ashamed to take antidepressants- I have done so off & on for years now- though never in such a high dose. I would rather be alive & on meds than dead. This board is a God send as well. I really enjoy reading the posts here & knowing that I am not alone w/my DD.
    Take care,
    ~Pixie~
  4. 1maqt

    1maqt New Member

    Not only have I ran the gauntlet of Doctors, but medications that don't work. My regular doctor left and went to Iowa. New Dr I saw this week and she is a jewel!!
    She does not want me to see the Rheumy that was so obnocious.

    Just before my doctor left, she told me I tested pos for Lupus. It was kinda like the straw thing......
    This is monday, and I feel a little better. Went to church and was wondering what I was doing there. My husband has betrayed me, I see vertually noone, and I see my nievety of being a pollyanna for what it is. Having been sick for 20 some years, I always tried to see the birght side. I guess that I have to realize sometimes there isn't a bright side and get on with it. I hate feeling needy. and I have always been so fiercly independant. I think maybe I needed to face some realities all along. I still believe that God is good, and there are still some virtuious people. And yes, I am grieving many losses.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/10/2003]
  5. layinglow

    layinglow New Member

    You don't mention what new meds you are on----
    Please call your Doc, right away, and discuss these feelings. I fought so long having the same feelings you are having, and Monday of last week, finally told my Doctor about them. Every time he had asked me in the past, I had fiercely denied them, trying to be tough, and fight this depression, irritablility, and all the things that go along with the realization of what having these DD's for the rest of our lives entail.
    As I said, I finally broke down, and told him, although, I was trying to fight this, I wasn't succeeding. He put me on lexapro, 10 mg. in the a.m. I am so happy to report that things look differently, indeed now! I am not the least bit groggy, I feel like my old self again, the black cloud has risen. To think I had spent so much time feeling so miserable.
    Please, hon, address this with your Doc---there is help.
    Best wishes,
    LL
  6. KarenL47520

    KarenL47520 New Member

    with the others, call you doc or the pharmacy and ask them if these symptoms could be side effects of your meds.

    I have had this or something for more than 20 years. My late husband had no sympathy or understanding whatsoever for me. He would raise 40 kinds of hell at me when I was not feeling good, demand sex regardless of how I felt. I would plead with him to not be that way with me. He said there was nothing wrong with me, the doctors couldn't find anything wrong which is typical with chronic fatigue and fibro; you don't test or x-ray positive to anything. It is all subjective symptoms meaning they are all symptoms you tell you doctor, they are not objective symptoms meaning symptoms he or she can observe or see such as a cut that needs suturing or a broken arm that needs to be be set. And that is the hell of this disease, people don't believe us when we say we are sick. "But you don't look sick" is all I ever heard from people. And the irony of my situation, my late husband became sick and I took care of him until he died.

    If your husband is being a jerk or giving you a hard time, tell him, if he can't say anything nice or be supportive, then just keep his big fat mouth shut. I know how much it hurts to want and need support from the person you love, been there and done that and it sux.

    About 18 months after my late husband passed away, I met the greatest guy on earth. We began a life together 2 years ago and he is my absolute rock. The first year we were together, my health was pretty good, flares came and went but I was able to continue working. That first year we were together, we must have built a firm foundation because it seemed like all hell broke loose the second year. I had knee surgery (my 4th on left knee), ulnar nerve release in my left elbow and Jan 20th of this year I had to have a disc removed in my neck at the C4-5 level, bone grafting, and instrumentation done. The spinal surgery is what kicked in the horrible flare I have been in. The past 4 days have been good for me, but prior to that it was absolute hell. I can't tell you how many times I contemplated suicide, for me it was the only way I knew how to stop the pain but if I did that, I would also stop everything else and I would loose this wonderful man that I love so very much and who is so kind, loving, and supportive of me.

    I don't know why people have the urge to kick us when we are down but they do. If at all possible, can you put your husband completely out of your life?? If he is abusing you, physically or mentally, then he is ony adding to your pain. Stress is one of our biggest enemies of this disease. We have to take care of ourselves physically and mentally in our attempt to have any quality in our lives.

    I am very sorry you are having to go through this. I know what it feels like, been there, done that, read the book, and bought the T-shirt, I lived it for 20 years.

    Soft gentle hugs for your hurting heart my friend. My email addy is in my profile if you would like to email me. I got big shoulders and great ears. I may not have all the answers but I promise to listen and give you a soft shoulder to lean on.

    Blessings to you,
    Karen
    [This Message was Edited on 03/10/2003]
  7. 1maqt

    1maqt New Member

    The "new" meds are as of Jan. Ambien, Neurontin, and Doxycycline. I wouldn't be having reactions now? I did take some Sudafed sinus for a few days with the flu. That would kind of be at the same time. Haven't taken anything but tylonol for years. This feeling comes on me out of the blue
    (no pun intended) a word, or some song. The I don't care may be a coping mechenism for the overwhelming sadness. My sister was here from out of town, whom I adore. We didn't get to visit because I had that horrible flu that (coughing,
    full chest, and head stuff) that lasted for 4 weeks. I didn't care that I couldn't see her? I know when I am feeling this way that it is not me.

    When I say my husband betrayed me, I don't mean in the adultry sense, I should clarify that it was in financial matters. I am so bound by conventional thou shalt nots and a sense of correctness that my conscience stays on red alert. I have never been demanding on others, only myself.
    Thoughts that are not normal to me come into my head out of nowhere. For instance," I've always tried to do the right thing and treated people with the same respect I would want to be treated and where did it get me? or These people at church could care less if they ever see me. or Why should I worry about my children, they could give a rip about me."
    I know that these are not true statements, but the thoughts come in anyway, with the feelings?? I am up for any info. I know we all have bad thoughts about ourselves at times, but I am having thoughts contrary to what I really believe in my heart to be true, and not anti-me. 1maqt~


  8. ozgran

    ozgran New Member

    I think you were about the first one to answer my very first post and so I feel an attachment to you.It makes me sad to hear of how you are feeling right now. I am sure by now you will realise you have much love and support from us all. I agree you need to check out the meds further. Yet again I believe we do hit emotional low spots. I have just come through a few bad days again with much pain, spasms and cramps in muscles, headaches etc etc.Felt very down in the dumps. Went to my little Chinese medicine girl today and after some acupuncture and massage I felt some relief. I then just had the shakes inside and wanted to cry. Felt an idiot as I should have been happy that something eased things for me. It is now well into the night here in Oz and I can't sleep so have come to my friends on the board again. Just take each day as it comes and keep talking to us. We are here for you. Love and soft hugs, ozgran.PS my e-mail is in my profile if you wish to e-mail me.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/11/2003]