One of my brothers read me the riot act this morning. I did ask for it, so don't feel too sorry for me, as I wanted to know what I had done to offend him. I honestly didn't know and was tired of guessing... His answer, in short, was that he had found my behavior offensive for the past 30 years. Some of my failures, to-wit: 1. I'm on introvert. I'm not good at socializing in groups, better one on one. After I worked all day, on an extremely stressful job, I would sometimes stop at Wal-Mart to unwind, not buying anything but just going through their sale racks until the stress was gone. My kids were done with high school and out of the house by this time. This worked wonders. Was basically criticized for needing to do anything to relieve my stress. I guess I'm supposed to go home, eat supper, and visit relatives all evening, even if I'm tired and have home chores and kids to attend to.... 2. My husband worked the overnight shift for 20 years and recently retired. Consequently, I adapted my schedule to fit his as much as I could. As husband and wife, we would have "date night" on Friday nights, sometimes Saturday nights too. Obviously, we again were not out socializing - we were trying to make our marriage work the best it could. I got no leeway for having a husband who worked overnights. 3. My brother is holding a grudge for something that happened over 20 years ago! We got into an argument because I thought he was being very inconsiderate to me, and I ended up calling him a jerk! Not my proudest, best moment, obviously, but that is the moment he is using to judge my character. Totally not fair... 4. My brother was kind enough to give my daughter a car when she was 18. It was an older car in great working order and she appreciated it very much. My daughter failed to transfer the title into her name, nor did she get auto insurance. You guessed it - she had an accident and my brother had to hire an attorney because my brother was sued by the other driver. My brother said that I said my daughter didn't need to buy insurance for the car. This was in about 1993, my daughter had graduated from high school and had moved to the Minneapolis area. At that time, I was working for the prosecuting attorney's office and had a lot of experience with processing driving violations. I would NEVER tell anyone they didn't need insurance for a car. I talked to my daughter and she thinks she may have lied to my brother and told him that I told her she didn't need insurance. She was young and scared and stupid. (So were we all at one time). 5. My brother said he stopped coming to visit because I always have bad news and talk about my health and am depressing to him. I didn't see that comment coming. I make a huge effort to stay positive and be happy in my life. Most people can't stand that I am so happy, especially given some of the circumstances of my life. I rarely discuss my health except to say "fine" as a general answer to the question "how are you feeling". Sometimes I will tell people some of the symptoms I am experiencing so that they know why I have to miss family events, etc. Occasionally, I get depressed because it gets so hard to deal with Fibromyalgia and CFS. I would say depression is 5 to 10% of my illness. My illness and suffering is mostly from the fatigue, post-exertional malaise, lack of energy stuff. Then there's the brain fog, which I try to make jokes about, and my Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which I rarely discuss. It is the rare person who understands what I'm going through, so I try to make a point of not talking about my abilities or lack of abilities. I just do the best I can. Obviously, not good enough for my brother. 6. My brother's granddaughter was diagnosed with leukemia in 2005. As a gesture of good will, my husband "borrowed" $5,000 from his 401K and we gave this money, no strings attached, to my brother's daughter to use as they saw fit. Our purpose was to give them a little peace of mind in that they had to worry about very serious medical problems but at least they would know they could pay their monthly payments. In the end, they used most of the money, had about a thousand dollars left and asked if we wanted it back or could they take the kids to DisneyWorld. Well, go to DisneyWorld of course! No strings attached. Now I hear through the grapevine that my brother's family thinks that I either took or was given an "extra" inheritance from my Mom, who passed away in 2006. Totally not true. My mother had given me a lot of knickknacks and stuff like that, nothing of real value, just stuff we both enjoyed. But, my Mom did that to everyone in the family. She never came calling empty-handed. Let no good deed go unpunished! Janice P.