One of my bad days here

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mebonlybecky, Apr 24, 2007.

  1. mebonlybecky

    mebonlybecky New Member

    Yesterday, I cleaned 3 houses and then came home did homework with kids, and went to a baseball game which was a late one. I just almost didnt make it to the car. Sent child into the house, and i just sat there and cried. I was hurting so bad! Husband is gone out of town for work this week. And didnt have no one to understand how i felt. Dont want to show it in front of the kids.
    It started a very bad storm last nite and that and along with Hurting so bad in my back, and legs, all i could do was lay there and cry. I feel like such a whimp at times like that.
    this morning, I feel somewhat better, and I know if i just stay here, I will just be feeling worst. More I move the better I am. And lord I will be moving today. Have a deep clean. but in the back of my mind I know tonite, I will be hurting even more.
    I ask myself all the time, why does this have to happen to me? I went threw alot of abuse with my ex, and I just thought that hurt. Just when I have found someone that is good to me and the kids, and I am happy. Then this comes up with Fibo, I just dont understand why.
    I am supose to go to Germany this summer to see my oldest son that i havent for 3 years. And I am praying that I dont have a hard time sitting, on the plane that long, where I cant get out and do anything with him, once I get there.
    I am sorry I am whinning, just dont understand, when I have my life where I have been wanting it so much for so long time. Then this crap happens.
    Becky
  2. DeborahLynn

    DeborahLynn Member

    I can't imagine having to work when feeling so bad! I really feel for you! You have much strength.

    I ditto everything the other poster said. Just want you to know we're here for you; I'll be praying for you.

    Debbie
  3. LeightonLAM

    LeightonLAM New Member

    I wanted to give you a little information to help you understand what Germany and Fibro is like. I just got done living there for 2 years. Here is some info:

    1. A lot of the roads are cobblestone, which can cause you some pain when you walk, since the surface is uneven.

    2. The public bus system is GREAT!! The seats are a whole lot more comfortable than the ones here in the US.

    3. Trains are the same way. Much more comfortable and easier access.

    4. A lot of coffee "shops" are little booths that you order at and then you can eat/drink at the "tables" However, the tables are extra tall, like a bar table, and sometimes do not have chairs or stools at all. The same goes for some bakeries.

    5. Parking is crazy most of the time at any busy area. Downtown, near major attractions, etc.

    6. Elevators are rare!! Some major department stores have elevators or escalators. But most times you will have lots of stairs.

    7. Castles are almost always a very hard walk up hill. The ground is sometimes uneven. And the castles themselves are very beautiful, but still very old. Accessability can be an issue inside the castles or ruins as well.

    8. Traffic Jams ((called sh-t-ow) the last part pronounced like "ow, that hurt") are very common on the Autobahn. It is not unusual to be waiting in traffic for long periods of time during seeminly random time periods.

    9. Public bathrooms are rare, and usually cost you around 50cents (euro) The good news is that they are usually clean bathrooms because the attendent that you tip cleans the bathroom after every use.

    10. Ice does not come in beverages. If you ask for ice in your beverage you will most likely get ice cream added, and a really funny look from your server.

    11. Water is not free. And it is not water. It is bubbly water. And usually it is bottled, and expensive.

    12. Refills are not free. If you order a soda, you get your glass full of soda and if you want more, you need to order another one, which you will have to pay full price for.

    13. Tipping is done in germany but at a much smaller rate. You should tip up to the next Euro Dollar or 2 at most.

    14. Once you leave germany, going to France etc, public bathrooms are not even close to what we have. They are actually holes in the floor of what looks like a shower stall. (i will leave it at that)

    Sorry about that. Thinking about Germany got me off in my own memories and I could go on all day.

    Overall, Germany should be an excellent trip, and with some knowledge and advice you can have a great time!!!

    [This Message was Edited on 04/25/2007]
  4. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member


    No one here should ever, ever feel guilty if they can't work.

    But to those who can, it does take incredible courage to keep at it.

    Here we have a lady who must stay in her car after she gets home and lets her kids out to cry from the pain and weakness and mental and emotional stress and sadness this causes.

    And she does this in part to protect her children from having to bear any added sadness and weight from her suffering.

    Do you realize how heroic and yet tragic this mother, wife and lady's situation is ? This mother is a hero! To her children who are too young to know what a burden she is carrying. And to all of us who know what she is "honestly" going through also.

    Tragic and heroic situations like this are happening all over our country with tens of thousands of people suffering like this with a disease that is more denied than any others that I can recall?

    I keep saying this should be the subject of a major film. At least the backdrop, subplot of one. This should be the subject of national TV talk shows.

    Yes, we have horrific other diseases, cancer, heart, you name it. These cause incredible suffering too. But they are not denied!

    The sufferers of these other diseases are not ignored, shunted off to the psyche realm, insulted and even humiliated by doctors who do this way more often with these immune system diseases than any other medical complaints to them.

    This mothers story is so sad and so tragic and so moving...yet what does it tell you?

    It tells you that this mothers illness should be acknowledged and she should get as much help in dealing with it as any other suffering person in this country who has a disease that drops you to your knees in tears with pain and weakness and other disabling symptoms.

    This woman should qualify for financial aid in regards to her not having to torture herself working to pay their basic bills as much as any other disabled sufferer from another illness would.

    Eventually this woman might not be able to work at all. She's working with tears in her eyes as it is already.


    I also have tried to work part time moaning and near tears.

    And I'm a guy!

    I don't get any disability either. And believe me, my family and I are so in debt from my lost income. But mostly, my records from doctors the last year and a half show negative tests results and so many psyche recommendations that I am perceived more as a psyche patient than a physical ailment one.

    That's after 54 years of NEVER, EVER showing any signs of this.

    But I complain and moan and cry out too often for these doctors without them finding enough for them to believe I am not exaggerating these feelings in my mind.

    These auto-immune damaging illnesses are a tragic nightmare...and worst of all...a denied one.

    Our prayers to this brave mother who is fighting through her tears to keep up her responsibilites without help and acknowledgement. She is one of the heroes in this world of CFS, Fibro...or everything else lumped into this area.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/25/2007]
  5. mebonlybecky

    mebonlybecky New Member

    Sorry I have not responded sooner to all the nice post that came across to my bad day. I came home and read them, and was so moved I wanted to respond right then. But was unable to, do to being so tired. Then the next day we had ball practice, and a game tonite.
    I was moved by all of you that responded it made me feel like I had others to relate with. It helped so much! And in some way it helped to know that others know what I am going threw. My husband does relize, and he is so good at helping me. He should not be having to go out of town no more, he only went for a training. I took care of my kids along for 9 years, before I married him, but I didnt have fibo.
    Anyways, to answer someone question, my kids are 21/boy, 17/boy, 14 girl_ they are all fixen to turn a year older this summer, and then a 11/boy, 9 boy. My oldest is in the army. they understand, how i feel some, my girl and my oldest in germany understands the most. I just try not to show really how bad sometimes, cause I dont wont to worry them.
    Thanks for all the IMfo, on Germany, he has been over there for 3 years now, and I have heard so much. I am not sure if I am going now or not, not because of what you said..lol but because we found out he will be coming home in Oct till nov. to move to another base in OK. :) So I might just save the money for something else.
    NOw for Joe, ...:) Joe your post really moved me, I have never heard so much that touched me so much!!! I dont see me as a Hero.... I just want to be able to do things with my kids, and some day I would like them to look back and have memory of me being at their games, and such.
    As for working, I dont really have to work, we could get by, just not have any extra. And really on the days I do not work, I hurt even more, and cant move. and cant sleep.
    I may hurt, and sometimes even more, but I know its for the best. I have made it threw so many things. like, broken bones, jaws, head injuryers all from my ex. And so I feel like If the Lord guided me threw that, then so he will this. Even if i know I may hurt the rest of my life, and probally come a day I cant do nothing. But I wont give up without a fight, and a try to have some what of a life.
    God has a reason for everything. And each thing he throws at us makes us even stronger, specially if you take it and go with it, and do your best no matter what.
    Well, again thanks sooooooo much everyone, to help me threw that day, and all the wonderful post.
    Becky. east texas