ORGASMS!!! I MISS 'EM!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kmelodyg, Aug 14, 2003.

  1. kmelodyg

    kmelodyg New Member

    WARNING!!! THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT AT HEART!!!

    Hey everyone! On a side note, do you notice whenever someone posts about sex, there are a zillion responses?? HMMMMMMM.... LOL

    Anyways, back to the matter at hand. I have always been a very sexual person. Not that I've had alot of partners! Don't get me wrong!! I have always really loved sex. It has always been a problem, with my Chronic Pelvic Pain, which began when I first became sexually active at 18 years old. But I would always (about 90% of the time!) have orgasms. Now, of course, I have basically no sex drive, and NO ORGASMS!!!

    Mentally, I still can be in the mood. But my body just does not want to respond. I still love the act of making love and all that can go along with it. I haven't tried any medications to help, but do use vibrators, which used to make it a sure thing!! Not anymore!!!

    I don't have a boyfriend anymore, and I basically could care less about sex now. So I could care less about having any new boyfriends. I am concerned that it will always be this way. I have always had boyfriends since elementary school!! Not much time on my own. So mabye it's a blessing in disguise. I can now spend time just loving myself, instead of spending most of my time and energy on someone else.

    I have heard a rumour that they came out with something that is like Viagara for women. I am not too excited about taking Testosterone.

    Not long ago, when I was still having sex regularly, it was always a bad and good thing. It was good because of the comforting, closeness, and enjoyable aspects. Plus it releases Endorphines, which can make you VERY HAPPY!!! But I would be partially distracted all of the time, thinking about how I was going to "pay" physically for it afterwards. The next day, my legs, back, and neck would be "SCREAMING FOR EXEDRINE!!!" (so to speak!)

    In order to become excited enough to reach an orgasmic state, your body goes through natural changes. Your heartrate increases, you start sweating and swelling, your breathing increases, and all of the muscles in your body tighten up. That' s where I turn off. I just can't get over that plateau. Even if I was on medication to help with my sex drive, my mind comes on and says, "OW! What are you doing? This is going to hurt you!"

    I am only 25, and I know that someday, probably not to far in the distant future, I will end up with a new boyfriend, and start having sex again. I look forward to that day. It is exciting to think about. I just dread all of the bad stuff that comes with it now.

    It seems like it is just a NO WIN situation. Even self-pleasuring is not too exciting anymore. It is very frustrating!!! I am definatly feeling sexually frustrated, and going through a kind-of withdrawl from not having it anymore! I guess it's just something else that goes along with this DD that I have to accept and get used to.

    WWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LOL,
    Kathryn
  2. judywhit

    judywhit New Member

    I would miss them too!! are you are meds that are preventing you from having a orgasim? such as anti-deppresants? I hate those darn things because I like sex too. I think that this is a time of self love as you have said. Do not worry, be happy and love yourself.
    Judy
  3. fullarmor

    fullarmor New Member

    I sure do understand where you are coming from!!!!! I miss them too. I stopped being able to have them so easily once I got on Prozac. I was on it for almost 10 years, and my sex drive was almost zero. I've been off of it for almost 2 years now, and the sex drive has improved slightly, but my ability to have an orgasm, is well, not there. Only with lots and lots and lots of direct stimulation if you know what I mean (my poor husband!) And I do exactly what you do: gee, if i get on top, my legs are going to kill me tomorrow, or ow, that position is painful, etc etc. This DD has definitely changed my ability to enjoy sex like I used to. So I thrive on the enjoyment of the closeness, the excitement, and the good feelings. I've thought about trying some supplements to help, maybe this will jump-start me to do it. But definitely do spend some time alone. It's extremely important to love yourself, who you are with this DD, before you can become close to others. Good luck! :)
    Nay
  4. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    I was looking for ways on relieveing pain with PMS, and while on my menstrual period. Came across a site that talked about orgasms help to release the tight muscles, releases endorphines. So its wild reading about how you clam up when getting to the point of orgasm. That you think it will hurt you?

    I havn't yet experienced any problems after sex, like paying for it for days with pain and fatigue..etc.. all the FM or CFS symptoms. I feel lucky and blessed on that.

    I can underestand missing it. I would too. I feel so much better afterwards. I am not acrobat, gymnast anymore when it comes to sex. I go for the quiet, relaxing, taking it slow kind. Or maybe that comes with age? I am 37.



  5. RedB

    RedB New Member

    something called Climatique to help with orgasms.

    I just ordered it. Will keep you posted. LOL

    I am 53, take NO estrogen, and take 2 meds that probably help cause the lack of libodo.

    Kathy
  6. kar1953

    kar1953 New Member

    You are right about something like Viagara for women. I just saw an ad on the net about a cream - it's too bad I can't for sure remember the name. I think it's something like Vagigel????? I know the web site but not allowed to give it here. If I get a chance I'll go there, get the name & let you know.

    I had thought about trying it myself but haven't yet.

    Take care.....Kathi
  7. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    IMHO meds (particularly anti-depressants) are the cause of this. When I was on the Celexa I was non-orgasmic and my sister in law said she had the same problem with prozac. The leaflet that came with the Celexa referred to "sexual side effects". A delicate way to say "no orgasms". I went off the stuff and have no problem in the orgasm department. Plus the sweating it caused was intolerable. It's too bad research can't come up with a good antidepressant that doesn't interfere with orgasms.

    Michelle
  8. lovereading

    lovereading New Member

    Wow,
    I was wondering who else had this problem. For me, the orgasm part is not a problem if I use a little "help" (!), but afterwards I am SO fatigued I cannot function at ALL. But the drive is definitely gone, probably because I'm also on an SSRI antidepressant (Celexa). I stick with it only because it sort of helps the pain (just read an article from ProHealth today confirming this) and because it evened out my PMS mood swings BIGtime. I can see why you feel deprived, though, if you're only 25! Good luck --
    Mary
    [This Message was Edited on 08/15/2003]
  9. Mtnflower

    Mtnflower New Member

    I have lost my libido. I used to love having sex now I could care less. I take effexor and serzone. I have tried talking to my dr. about it but he doesn't seem willing to discuss it. Could he think I should give it up because I'm 55? I am not willing to even though my husband and I enjoy a lot of closeness without it. To find the creme type: female sexual dysfunction into you search engine. I keep looking for an answer.

    Mtnflower
  10. achy

    achy New Member

    I too have lost my drive. I am 42 , hubby is 52. For the past 23 yrs of our marrage sex was an activity that occured at least daily, if not more!! Untill this DD got me.

    I am on Antidep...wchich certainly doen't help as far as drive, but hubby is, well let's say "persistant". He coiuld get a dead woman arroused - LOL
    Most times my hubby understands me not being up to it..other times I just give in.

    My killer is the pain during, and paying for it after. My spine hurts so bad some days it hurts to breathe. The least little movement feels like by bones are rubbing together. And, if, and when i do reach an orgasm every tender point gives me a jolt too. The pain is really unbearable at times.He has no idea how much it really does hurt to have sex. If I told him, it would never be the same. He would be too afraid he was hurting me to enjoy it himself. I have taken so much from him already.


  11. LauraLea

    LauraLea New Member

    I stopped taking elavil and my sex drive came back. I still take Effexor but that doesn't seem to effect it. I am 41 and now have the sex drive I did when I was in my 20's. The only problem is I know I will be in pain the next day so I don't have sex as often. I am able to get the big O most of the time.

    I heard on the radio about a device called the gentle touch for women. From what I heard it works wonders. I'm not sure of the price or how it works, but they claim it's not another toy.

    Just a thought hope you get some relief soon.

    Laura
  12. utcrb

    utcrb New Member

    TO LIBRA55

    I used to take Celexa, and it effected my sex drive.
    My doctor prescribed Wellbutrin and it brought back my sex drive.


    Charlotte


    [This Message was Edited on 08/15/2003]
  13. Manwithfibro

    Manwithfibro New Member

    95% of FMers have very low DHEA...Take 25mg a day with a tablet of zinc..you will be attacking a man soon.

  14. Plantscaper

    Plantscaper New Member

    It is the precursor (mother) hormone to all the other hormones and is suppose to generate DHEA in the amounts needed by the body, and is safer than DHEA...in small amounts..I break a l0mg tablet into four pieces and take about every day..I am all for ZINC, too, as it helps in so many ways apart from the big O..

    What used to bother me were those orgasmic migraines..you did not know whether to celebrate or hibernate into pain..Have not had one, though, lately, when my migraines stopped occurring so frequently..

    Plantscaper

  15. Nana61

    Nana61 New Member

    What is DHEA and can you by it over the counter.
    Jeanette

    [This Message was Edited on 08/15/2003]
  16. courtney5771

    courtney5771 New Member

    I have been on celexa max mg, wellbutrin max mg, and buspar max. I told my psy. I hate sex. He prescribed cyproheptadine 4 mg tabs for sex drive- he called it the poor man's viagra. It does work- just avoid the hunger overeating that comes with it. I only use it when I want to have sex. Ask your doc and see?

    Hugs,
    Courtney
  17. toots2

    toots2 New Member

    I am also wondering if you can buy DHEA over the counter? Please let us know. Toots
  18. todayisagift

    todayisagift New Member

    tried Avlimil? I saw advertisements for it in magazines and a lot of physicians are giving it to patients who complain of female sexual disorder. It is done well in clinical trials. You don't need a prescriptions, you can just order it from Avlimil.com. for it to be 35 a month you have to order it managed care where it will come to your house every month, I would assume after two months if it doesn't work you can just cancel it but supposedly it is supposed to help after a month in at least some way. I know I'm praying!
    -Megan
  19. tandy

    tandy New Member

    buy DHEA over the counter.(pretty sure)I think its also sold here!!Its some kind of a hormone related supplement??? from what I gathered so far. i've only read up very little on this and you DO NEED to research this one before taking them because there are some side effects(bad ones)if you don't take the correct dose or if you take too much??!!!be careful.......I've seen warnings posted about this. I'm sure if you know what your doing,this could be of alot of help to some! I'd search all the previous posts on this....see what everyones saying!! and do a google search.....should be lots of info~
    Hope everyones day is a GOOD day! I'm off for some school shopping!!ugggh! Take care :)
    Klutzo would probably know alot about this dhea~??
  20. klutzo

    klutzo New Member

    DHEA is a potent steroid. Nobody should take DHEA without having a baseline test done to see if they need it. Pregnenolone might be a better bet, but it still should be monitored, esp. in someone so young. Generally, very few people under the age of 30 need DHEA. Those with severe CFS are most likely to have a low level. A blood test is easiest, but not an accurate reflection of the actual free level of circulating available hormone. The best test is salivary DHEA-s. This is obtained by doing an Adrenal Stress Index (ASI) test, which can be ordered online, but must be interpreted and treated by a holistic doctor or other holistic practitioner.
    DHEA can theoretically convert into any hormones you are deficient in. However, in practice, this sometimes does not happen, and you can have excess of one and deficiencies of another. This is why it is a good idea to test your sex hormone levels as well,and that can be done with blood tests for estradiol, progesterone and testosterone.
    I have a friend using testosterone cream and getting great results, but like me, she is post-menopausal.
    As a result of testing, I am presently taking 2.5 mgs. DHEA in the morning. Any higher dose would have been dangerous for me, and in general, females must be more careful with DHEA than males. I also take progesterone drops under my tongue, twice daily.
    My sex drive disappeared immediately when I got fibro, but I am not treating that problem, since I have vulvar vestibulitis as a complication of fibro, which makes sex excruiatingly painful, and therefore see the loss of drive as a blessing rather than a problem. The only time during my fibro years that my sex drive came back was in the early yrs. when I was given a huge overdose of cortisone by injection. For 3 weeks it came back, then went away again. This leads me to suspect that the overactive immune system has something to do with repressing the sex drive.

    The type of problem you describe sounds more like a medication problem anyway. Are you taking anti-depressants or blood pressure meds or antihistamines? These are all notorious (esp. the SSRI's like Paxil, Zoloft, etc.) for killing orgasmic ability. You might want to discuss alternatives with your doctor if you are taking them. Those who have been on this Board awhile know I am totally against giving anti-deps. to anyone who does not have clinical depression, and then only short-term. They are not the innocuous drugs docs think they are....this is the danger when docs get all their info from drug company sales reps.!

    If meds are not the problem, I strongly encourage you to switch to a holistic doctor,since conventional docs will not be able to help with this problem. They haven't got a clue about this stuff, and you are too young to give up a sex life. A holistic will help you get to the bottom of it and work on fixing it in a safe way.

    Good luck and keep us posted.
    Klutzo
    [This Message was Edited on 08/16/2003]