OT..32 Rules for Women...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by 123sandra, Sep 24, 2005.

  1. 123sandra

    123sandra New Member

    The Men Get Their Own Back!!

    1, Learn to work the toilet seat! You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. WE need it up, You need it down. You don't hear us griping about it if you leave it up!

    2, Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversarys are Not quests for us to find the perfect present, yet again!

    3, Sometimes we are Not thinking of you. Get used to it!

    4, Sunday= Sports. It's like the full moon or changing of the tides. Let it be!

    5, Don't cut your hair. EVER. Long hair is more attractive! One of the reasons men fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, by then you're stuck with her.

    6,Shopping is NOT a sport. And we are never going to think of it that way.

    7,Crying IS blackmail!

    8,ASK for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints donot work. Strong hints donot work. Obvious hints donot work.Just SAY it.

    9,We don't remember dates.Mark Birthdays and Anniversarys on a calender. Remind us FREQUENTLY before hand.

    10,Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out if thirty, would be good with that dress.

    11,Yes and No are perfectly good answers to any question.

    12, Come to us with a problem, ONLY if you want help solving it. Sympathy is what your girlfriends do.

    13, A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem.See a doctor.

    14 Anything we said SIX MONTHS ago is inadmissible in an argument. Infact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

    15, If You think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

    16, If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of thwe ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

    17, You can either ask us how to do something or tell us how you want it done. NOT both. If you already know best how to do it, then do it yourself.

    18,Whenever possible, always say what you want to say, during the commercials.

    19, Christopher Columbus didn't need directions. Neither do we.

    20,The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.Get over it, and stop whineing to your girlfriends.

    21, ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit not a color. Pumpkin is a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.

    22,If it itches, it will be scratched!We do that.

    23, We are not mindreaders and never will be.Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    24,If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act as if nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle.

    25, If you ask a question you don'tan answer to,expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    26, When we have to go somewhere,absolutely anything you wear is fine.

    27, Don't ask us what we're thinking unless you want to discuss naval lint, shotgun formation or monster trucks.

    28, You have enough clothes and WAY to many shoes. You're not an octopuss and never will be.

    29, Foreign films are best left to the foreigners. (Unless it's a Bruce Lee film or a war flick wher it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.

    30, It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which one.

    31, I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    32, Thankyou for reading this. Yes,I do know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind, because it's just like camping.

    Hope you like these
    LOL
    Sandra
  2. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I really should not comment, since I am female! However, some of these do not make any sense!
  3. JimB

    JimB New Member

    I think a few might need just a little adjustment

    but about 95% of them are common sense...

    you know - like the Bill Of Rights ...

    These Truths that are "self evident."

    No?

    Jim
    [This Message was Edited on 09/25/2005]