OT after all, laughter IS healthy ....... LOLOL................

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Jul 18, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member


    A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. . . All I want to say to the authors of that study is: "Duh." --Conan O'Brien
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    Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
    I think that's how dogs spend their lives. --Sue Murphy

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    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four
    Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. --Rita Mae Brown

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    Why DOES Sea World have a seafood restaurant??
    I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize,
    'Oh my God....
    I could be eating a slow learner! ' --Lynda Montgomery

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    If life was fair,
    Elvis would be alive
    and all the impersonators would be dead. --Johnny Carson

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    Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? -- Lily Tomlin

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    Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. --Jerry Seinfeld

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    In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest.
    What is the logic?
    Do tall people burn slower? -- Warren Hutcherson

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    I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be --
    But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals:
    We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners. --Jeff Stilson

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    I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. --Lily Tomlin

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    Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: "This looks much better on."
    ...........On what? --On fire? -- Marsha Warfield

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    Have you ever noticed....
    Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -- George Carlin

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    I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage...........They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. --Rita Rudner

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    I'm not into working out.
    My philosophy: No pain, no pain! --Carol Leifer

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    The second day of a diet is always easier than the first...... By the second day you're off it. --Jackie Gleason

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    I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." ...............The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?" -- Jay Leno

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    Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy five cents. --William Coronel

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    Bigamy is having one (spouse) too many.
    Monogamy is the same. --Oscar Wilde

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    I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;
    I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. --A. Whitney Brown

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    I don't mind door-to-door salesmen. Come to my house and I have a sign on the fence that reads, "Salesman Welcome; Dog Food is Expensive." --Anon.

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    SOME RECENT CLASSIFIEDS AND HEADLINES:

    FREE PUPPIES:
    1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
    ----------

    FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
    8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
    ----------

    1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
    ----------

    AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
    ----------

    SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
    ----------

    FREE PUPPIES: PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART STUPID DOG
    ----------

    2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
    ----------

    TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
    ----------

    83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000
    ----------

    STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15
    ----------

    GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
    ----------

    FREE: 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
    ----------

    FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
    ----------

    SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
    ----------

    FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT-- BEEN OUT AWHILE. BETTER BE REWARD.
    ----------

    HUMMELS- LARGEST SELECTION EVER- "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
    ----------

    GET A 'LITTLE JOHN': THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.
    ----------

    HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
    ----------

    GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
    ----------

    AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100
    ----------

    TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
    WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
    STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

    ----------

    EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175.
    ----------

    OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
    AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
    ----------

    JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
    ----------

    LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.
    ----------

    ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
    ----------

    GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
    ----------

    GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL




    hope you got a few laughs........................
    V

  2. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    Thanks for the laughs.

    Karen :)
  3. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    We always need some good laughs around here, thanks!!

    Hugs,

    Nancy
  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    You always find good stuff.