OT Also Traveling

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by PVLady, Jul 19, 2006.

  1. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Hi everyone, I should be so excited as I am taking a 5 day trip to Calgary Canada Saturday. I am so afraid of traveling.
    I am in pretty good shape so I hope all goes well.
    I must go, no backing out!!! It is for business.
    The hotel is in Banff called The Fairmont. Has anyone been there?
    It is supposed to be a 5 star hotel and famous. I sure hope the mattresses are good.
    I am such a worrier.
    I do have good reason to be worried, my husband had back surgery in April and is not doing well. He has to have a MRI next Tuesday then see the doctor the next day. He will have to take a taxi as he cannot drive. It is about 45 minutes away.
    The worst thing is my employee who practically runs my business overdosed last Saturday . She has battled depression for years, she is only 24. I am like her real mother. Her mom left them when she was 8. She is such a good person, I wish I could help her. The stupid doctors put her on a lot of meds several weeks ago, then did not follow up with her. She was a mess but I could not convince her to call them.
    I hate to take this trip with all this going on.
    Oh well, I guess I am venting..Thanks for listening...

    Oh, forgot to mention, also have 90 yr mother in nrsg home, and brother out of work and ill. (I am taking him with me on trip as husband can't go and don't want to travel alone)

    The one outrageous thing I did was upgrade the air trip to first class. It was not as bad as I thought.
  2. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    My employee does have a support system, her father, grandmother, boyfriend, therapist and psychiatrist. I just don't understand why she is not still in the hospital.

    When someone is so seriously depressed they cannot see things can get better. It is frightening and I do not underestimate what can happen.

    I think she should be hospitalized until she is established on new medications. They should have put her on a 72 hour hold if possible last Sunday. Instead they let her go home.

    Now they have again started her on meds and when I called her today she is just crying.

    I strongly feel she is still unstable and should be in the hospital. She is in no frame of mind to be left alone.

    My husband has pain after lumbar surgery. We saw a specialist who will do a MRI next week and determine what is going on. He is going to treat the pain for a better quality of life during this healing phase.

    I trust everything will be ok, the doctors group is called Kerlan-Jacobs and I am told they are famous for their expertise for back problems. It is a large group of doctors and I was very impressed with the exam my husband had.

    Hope things work out with your grandson. I am waiting to hear what happens.....



  3. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Thank you for the nice things you said. I feel obligated to give back here. When I first came a few years ago, many people helped me.

    I actually see a therapist twice a week myself and it has really helped me. You still don't know the half I have been through. But I would like to tell you about Alice.

    In the past several years I was taking care of a elderly lady (Alice) whose own daughter left the state. When I found her, she was 85, no food in the house, no meds, blind, malnourished, sick, cockroaches rampant, filthy house. She had two hip replacements and no one took care of her. I found out about Alice from a friend of my moms who kept saying there was a sick lady who needed help. The only food she was getting was left overs the friend dropped off Mon-Fri from the senior center lunch program.

    After I started taking care of her, the grandson appeared and tried to steal her house by doing a quit claim deed. Oh, yea - I am sure that was going to happen. I retained an attorney on her behalf and also threatened to have him arrested for financial elder abuse if he tried to get her ot sign the papers. She needed her money because by that time we had her in a assisted living facility.

    If you could have seen her the first day she arrived at the facility - dirty, starved. They brought her food tray and she gobbled it down. The staff had tears in their eyes, it was sad to see.

    I threw out her clothes and went and bought new ones. About 3 weeks later she got really sick and come to find out was very anemic. She needed blood transfusions. I contacted her daughter and she refused to authorize medical treatment, not even an aspirin!!

    I argued with her took over power of attorney for her health care. Eventually I also took over the financial.

    If her daughter only knew the misery her mom went through. Once, when still at home alone, she got all ready to go to the doctors. She was so crippled it took hours to get ready. She was picked up by a van and went 1 hour drive (all alone) to the doctor - when she arrived the doctor was not there, and she was not even seen!!

    I never took one penny of her money, in fact I spent my own money and was not repaid but that was ok.

    During those years my dear husband took Alice to all her doctor appointments. We made sure she saw doctors often. Alice was so crippled up with arthritis, my husband would lift her up on the table, so loving with her.

    Alice had several good years in the assisted living where she sang and played bingo with everyone else. She was a delight. She would tell alot of stories and joked alot. Just a sweet person. She never understood why her daughter just left and didn't even tell her. I never criticized her daughter to her but Alice was mad at her. Whenever I would ask her if she wanted me to call her to visit she would say no.

    When she started going downhill, I hired 24 hour nursing care from her funds. I hoped we could spend all her money on her - not to leave for the daughter.

    She passed away 6 months ago but I know she had good years and did not die alone in her filthy house. At her funeral her daughter and grandson showed up. I could not even speak to them - disgusting people.

    I was depressed when Alice passed, but in the same time period, my aunt also died, and my next door neighbor's mom died. I was also close to them.

    Oh I want to add to this story -- In the beginning, I was contacted by Alice's neice in Texas. She rambled on about how involved she was in church, the minister came on Sundays, on and on. She was very critical of the daughter. I suggested we put Alice in a nursing home near her over in Texas since Alice's sister was and other family was there. She agreed and I found a beautiful place in her town for Alice. The next thing I get is a big email from her saying she has fibromyalgia!!! and also her travel plans would not allow her to take care of Alice. Whatever her religion is, I want no part of it. Can you imagine?? She was not going to have to take care of Alice, it was a matter of overseeing the finances and visiting her.

    After hearing that, I would not have even allowed Alice to go there. But what a sad state of affairs that her family did not care at all about her. Oh yes, they could call on the phone and wonder what I was doing - I guess that made them feel like they were doing something.

    The daughter would up getting Alices house that sold for $400,000. I wish Alice would have donated her house to some church. I did not want anything, but I resent the daughter getting anything. Charity would have been better.

    Well, sorry for my venting here. Maybe it is part of my therapy for these feelings to come out. Hope I did not depress you with this story. Actually, Alice was happy, clean, well fed and good for a long time until the end.

    It is sad how some of our elderly citizens are treated by their families.

    Ok, I will try to enjoy my trip. Maybe when the plane takes off, I will forget everything.












  4. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Wow, I did not know the court would even give you that much time with Cohen, that is great. Hopefully, everyone will come together and make peace - especially for the love of this precious boy.

    You son is a good boy who will be a great daddy. I hope everyone will make peace, that will be the best thing.

    Once the courts have ruled, they may come to their senses and be nice to you.

    Thanks for the nice words!!!! I feel better. Sorry I had to tell my story about Alice. I guess it is venting.

    I don't know if I told you I started seeing a therapist tiwce a week. It has helped alot - I had so much anxiety it was ridiculous.