OT-Daughter going on trip, Making me panic

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Bambi, Feb 10, 2006.

  1. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    My daughter and her husband came over yesterday for a little while. Midway through the visit she told me they are going on a "trip". I know it was the point of the visit because she knows me. I always get uptight when she's going on ANY kind of trip. I know it's not very rational as so far it's only been to places like California and Las Vegas and we live in Arizona.

    The problem for me is that she is the only child and she has severe FM also. She gets really bad migraines out of the blue but also under stress. It's not like she's a child, she'll be 34 in July, but she is MY child. She decided years ago that she didn't want children and isn't having any. Somehow I think if she did have a child I'd have someone more to put all my devotion and "worry" on. I know that doesn't make sense but right now I don't feel very logical.

    This trip is to Equador to some place I can't remember the name of right now. Her
    husband and his parents and she are all going. It's 9000 to 9500 ft. above sea level and is not all that pretty a place is all I've been able to find out online.
    Her husband and his dad have a relative that lives there which is the point of the trip.

    I am terrified of flying right now with the current threats active against the U.S. and from what I read online about this place they are going tourists (particularly Americans) are not popular
    and there have been many situations where people were "robbed, beaten and raped".
    There "have" been murders also, but not like it's an every day occurance for murder. Tourists going there are advised not to carry cameras, not to photograph children as the people there are terrified of child abductions which are
    rampant. They advise that tourists be hyper vigilant at all times and don't be
    out after dark, or drive around on the roads at any time.

    It just doesn't sound like the safest place to be going. But then at this time in history we aren't well liked most any
    where and it's getting worse in South America all the time. This place also has frequent uprising and changes in the government which is just an added thing in my list of things I don't like about it.

    At first I just said "Oh great!" and meant it. Then I started getting apprehensive so thought I'd go online and check out the government travel advice and anything else I could find out about the place..hoping to find it was a nice calm place and just a nice tourist place.
    That's not what I found. She also has done the research and though she knows all this she says they will be visiting
    "family" and not out in the hotels or main part of the city. Of course I know they WILL be going to see sights, that's
    what you DO.

    I also read that they have to take Malaria and Yellow Fever shots among other things and register with the American Consolate sp? before they go. I don't know, I think I am just wishing she'd get a dose of the normal flu and not be available to fly that day. I feel
    like I'm being silly in one way and in another I don't feel so silly as it doesn't sound like a trip to the zoo to me. I DO know if anything happened to her
    it would be the END of me! But that's true if it happened a block from home.

    My husband said "She's not going to care WHAT we say so why bother?"..he dismisses everything in life that way. Why wash the car, it will just get dirty again and right on down the line regarding ANYthing
    so he's never anyone to discuss my anxiety about things with. He's not saying I'm being foolish just that she's
    going to go anyway so accept it. He knows I won't BREATHE until she's back, though
    I guarantee he won't miss a minute's sleep. I don't want him to "panic" with me but just to be more supportive, but it
    will never happen.

    I don't know what I want. Maybe just some
    consolation that my fears are ok but that it will all work out maybe. Any replies will be appreciated.
  2. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    My daughter went to Scotland her Junior year in college, not to study but to get a job and hang out and see what she could see. It wasn't too bad because I could talk to her on the phone with phone cards and she would e-mail everyday but it was for four months. She got sick one time and thankfully had made friends who took her to the hospital. She got a job at the hostel so she could stay there for free. I sure missed her. I was more than glad when she came home.
    She informed me a few months ago that she was going to Italy but that was before the "boyfriend +++++++ and more" and buying a house and being so in love" and we really like him - so maybe she will let him go too!"
  3. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    of it if it kept her "home". LOL! I have never been displeased with ANY of our daughter's choices in way of friends, school, husband, nothing..she was one of those "good"
    kids. Pretty, smart, popular, talented...whoops, my pride is showing! But I just wish she was as devoted to staying in the U.S. as I am! You're a good dad me thinks!