OT DOGS and CATS quotes, cute...a few more

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Sep 29, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    DOGS:

    "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies. - Gene Hill

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    In dog years I'm dead. - Unknown

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    I named my dog 'Stay'... so I can say 'Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.' - Steven Wright

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    To err is human; to forgive, canine. - Unknown

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    Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart. - Dorothy Hinshaw Patent, Dogs: The Wolf Within

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    If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. -- Andy Rooney

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    They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation. -- Jerome K. Jerome

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    When you feel dog-tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long. -- Unknown

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    I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -- Steven Wright

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    Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. -- Dave Barry

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    A cat sees us as the dogs. . . A cat sees himself as the human. - Unknown

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    You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!' -- Dave Barry

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    He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.) . . .

    When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. . .

    He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. . .

    He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever - in case I need him. And I expect I will - as I always have. He is just my dog." --Gene Hill

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    I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now. -- Steven Wright

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    This isn't like naming your dog 'Spot.' -- Richard Melville, Secretary, International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature, on scientific Latin names for plants and animals, Wall Street Journal 13 Jul 84

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    I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts. ---John Steinbeck

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    My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip! -- Craig Shoemaker

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    My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I "should" be doing. -- Lonzo Idolswine

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    All trees have bark.
    All dogs bark.
    Therefore, all dogs are trees.
    The fallacy of barking up the wrong tree. - -Unknown

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    Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. --Ann Landers

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    "DOG, n. A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition. -- Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.

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    When a dog runs at you, whistle for him. -- Henry David Thoreau

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    he dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic. -- Henry Ward Beecher

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    [My dog] can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings. -- Gerald B H Solomon, US Congressman, Entry in contest to identify Capitol Hill's Great American Dog, NY Times 9 Aug 86

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    It freshens your breath and helps prevent tartar. -- Mel Gibson, while eating a dog biscuit at Harvard, 1996

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    CATS' TURN:

    Megan Coughlin on why she'd make a good cat:
    I'm aloof, I like to run around outside, but I also like to curl up in warm spots. I eat fish. . .

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    Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. -- Anonymous

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    With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats? --Fernand Mery

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    Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this by all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll in a dead fish. --James Gorman

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    If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr. --Martin Buxbaum

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    Cats' hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other. --Stephen Baker

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    There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. --Wesley Bates

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    Most beds sleep up to six cats. Ten cats without the owner. --Stephen Baker

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    Most cats, when they are 'Out' want to be 'In,' and vice versa, and often simultaneously. --Louis F. Camuti, DVM

    (altho I think my dogs are the same way!!!!)

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    The phrase "domestic cat" is an oxymoron. --George F. Will

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    There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. --Unknown

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    If the pull of the outside world is strong, there is also a pull towards the human. The cat may disappear on its own errands, but sooner or later, it returns once again for a little while, to greet us with its own type of love. Independent as they are, cats find more than pleasure in our company." --Lloyd Alexander

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    Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. . .

    I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another. -- Irving Townsend

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    [This Message was Edited on 10/02/2006]
  2. nerdieduckie

    nerdieduckie New Member

    Thanks for those! So many of them were hilarious and others were so true! (especially the cat ones)

    I have a cat of my own...or should I say, little human? At least, he thinks he's one anyway.
  3. maedaze

    maedaze New Member

    Oh these are so true!!! I have both cats and dogs so can relate to both....... especially about the dogs NEED to go in the car and bark loudly in your left ear over NOTHING!!!!
  4. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    But my dog really, really thinks I'm wonderful...

    (From the Ann Landers quote)

    Hugs,

    Nancy B
    [This Message was Edited on 10/01/2006]
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Cats sleep
    Anywhere,
    Any table,
    Any chair,
    Top of piano,
    Window-ledge,
    In the midle,
    On the edge,
    Open drawer,
    Empty shoe,
    Anybody's
    Lap will do,
    Fitted in a
    Cardboard box,
    In the cupboard
    With your frocks-
    Anywhere!
    They don't care!
    Cats sleep
    Anywhere
    - - - Eleanor Farjeon

    The author was English (despite the last name). She wrote the words to "Morning Has Broken".
  6. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Great post. When I was little I thought the dalmation next door was called "Heel" as the ownder would take him walks and always call "Heel".

    Love Anne
  7. victoria

    victoria New Member

    NancyB- my dogs think I'm wonderful too, hehe, being pack leader and doing my job, bringing home the goodies, AND being their mother too!

    Maedaze - my dogs do the same thing in my house sigh!

    Rockgor-Thanks, I didn't know that the same person wrote 'Morning Has Broken" - I'll have to look her up to see what else she wrote! I always liked both of those!

    Anne - LOL, I always loved a cartoon I saw of a dog watching a TV Evangelist (Ernest Ainsly (sp) I think) who always says "heeaal" when he does his healings on TV... and there's a dog sitting patiently starting at the TV...

    LIG - I don't know one of my dogs I think has a bit of a skewed impression of me... she demands I should let the other dogs in or out and won't leave me alone until I do, lolol...... that's why I am the official doorperson in my home...

    I really do love pets, they are so entertaining!

    Victoria


  8. victoria

    victoria New Member



    "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?"


  9. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I almost lost my coffee after that last quote that you posted....

    Hugs,

    Nancy B

    PS. Morning has Broken...as in the Cat Stevens song??
  10. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Yup. Cat Stevens recorded it, but he didn't write the music (traditional Irish tune is what I read) or the lyrics.

    I wondered why that song was so different from everything else on his album. His name is always listed on recordings tho. Maybe he somehow acquired the copyright. But how can you do that w/ an old song?

    It was played at John Wayne's funeral.
  11. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Amazing what all our furbuddies inspire!

    ACTUAL SIGNS:

    On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian, except the dog."

    On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

    ~~~
    The Difference between Cats and Dogs

    A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!

    A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!"

    ~~~

    "Your husband says he leads a dog's life." "Yes, it's very similar. He comes in with muddy paws, makes himself comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed. "

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    "If dogs (or cats) could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people" - Karel Capek

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    "The dog has an enviable mind; it remembers the nice things in life and quickly blots out the nasty" - Barbara Woodhouse

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    AD FUNNIES
    Lost: Small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

    For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd & Alaskan Hussy.

    Dog for Sale: Eats anything, fond of children.

    ~~~

    WHEN I WAS YOUNG by Jane Webb

    When I was young, on the carpet I wee'd,
    I spent all my Sundays getting de-flea'd.

    The sofa was always my best scratching post,
    and my favourite food was the scraps from the roast.

    As I grew up I found all sorts of places to loll,
    but the best was always my Mum's fruit bowl.

    Now I am bigger and know the house rules,
    I make sure I do all this when they are out...

    the fools!



  12. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    LOL....

    Hugs,

    Nancy B
  13. maedaze

    maedaze New Member

    TEEE HEEE HEEE.. Great, love them although I think the 'God one' isn't funny, It's true!!!

    I live with 3 cats and they rule, the poor dogs don't have a chance!