OT:feeling sad and anxious

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by razorqueen, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. razorqueen

    razorqueen Member

    I'm not sure what it is, but I think it is mainly because of how things are with my DH. We are both feeling so disconnected from each other.

    I know I have really pulled myself away emotionally, for self preservation. I just can't handle alot of his stuff right now.

    I am going for "talk" therapy, been there once. It was good. She made me realize that I don't always have to explain myself, that I am an adult, not a child that has to be "chastized" all the time.

    I have this book at home called Boundaries in Marriage By Cloud and Townsend, (can't remember their first names). This is a totally amazing book! It is making so much sense. I know if both of us read this and but it into practice this will make a world of difference!

    We need to learn to respect each other, except each other as God made us. Change the things in our lives that aren't right. Don't take responsibility for our spouses problems, and own our own! Our spouses reactions are their own, not ours! We don't need to take them on as ours!

    It also says that 2 people can't become "one" unless they are complete in themselves. Its about complementing each other, and not completing each other.

    Its hard to explain, I haven't finished the book, but I know that it holds alot of answers for relationships. My request from my friends here is that you will pray for us, that we can see our own faults and work with them so we can have the friendship, marriage and closeness God desires for <ALL/> of us!

    Blessings,
    Raz
    [This Message was Edited on 09/19/2006]
  2. sorekitty

    sorekitty New Member

    Sounds like an interesting book. Sorry you are feeling down. I've been going through so much lately that have made me feel sad and anxious. Actually our entire 9 years of marriage we have had all kinds of difficult things to deal with. We always laugh and are good friends though. You are in my thoughts.

    Love the Aesop's fable! That's a good one.

  3. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    I will be praying for the both of you.

    Its like an omen that you posted this.I had a doctors appointment this AM my husband came in with me.We have been having a lot of problems lately.

    My doctor suggested counseling for us.I have been trying to get my husband to go .He kept saying no cause he went with his first wife and he was blamed for all the problems in there marriage.He said it wont work cause the same thing will happen.He told my doctor he never said that or maybe he does not remember.

    Now that my doctor recommended it he has agreed to go .I am so happy about this.

    My husband has alot going on .We sold our home to move in with his Dad who is 89 and very set in his ways.Anytime I try to clean I move things that belonged to his late wife and he gets very upset with me. There are also times he claims things are missing.My husband sides with him.

    MY husband also has had to get another full time job after he retired from teaching 34 years to make up for my income that we lost.That is so he can keep up with all the household expenses and all my medical cost.

    My husband is an only child the house will someday be his.I tell him I don't want it and that I don't want to be here.It cost so much to live here the utilities and taxes are a lot more than what we were paying.His Dad would have lost it.He could not pay his bills thats why were here.

    My husband spends all his time with his Dad.The only time I see him is at dinner or if he has to take me to the doctors.I no longer do anything right.I am always wrong.
    No matter how hard I try to say the right words he gets upset with me and tells me that I don't know what I'm talking about.

    I am sorry this is so long.You are the first person I have told this to except for my doctor.

    We have been married 5 years.I wish I had not done it.

    Thank you for the name of the book I am going to get it tomorrow.I do want my marriage to work.It is so hard cause for one I very seldom feel well.

    I will keep you in my prayers.

    Hugs>>>>FOR EVERY DAY A NEW DAWN WILL COME>>>>Sue