OT - for a laugh - KIDS are STILL saying FUNNY things...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Mar 5, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

    At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

    As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,

    "Who was THAT?"

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    A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood had been like many years ago:

    "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire that hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony through the fields and woods. And we picked wild raspberries in the summer. . ."

    The little girl was wide-eyed, taking all of this in. At last she said,

    "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

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    My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"

    I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"

    "You're both really old," he replied.

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    A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.

    "What's it about?" he asked.

    "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

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    I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her while visiting one weekend. I would point out something and ask what color it was.

    She would tell me, and she was always correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued.

    At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,

    "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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    A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.

    Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,

    "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."

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    Our five-year-old grandson couldn't wait to tell his grandfather about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."

    The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus in particular had kept him wide-eyed.

    In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted to ask him,

    " Mark, what caused the submarine to sink?"

    With a look of incredulity, Mark replied,

    "Grampa, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"

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    When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.

    Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,

    "It's no use, Grandpa. . . The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

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    When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,

    "I'm not sure."

    "Look in your underwear, Grandma -- Mine says I'm four to six."

    (if only!)

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    A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,

    "Grandma, guess what? -- We learned how to make babies today!"

    The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.

    "That's interesting," she said, "How DO you make babies?"

    "It's simple. You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es.'"


    (What English teacher wouldn't love that one?)

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    "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.

    The small boy wrote:

    "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

    The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. She asked

    "Don't you know what pregnant means?"
    .
    "Sure. It means carrying a child."

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    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.

    The children started discussing the dog's duties.

    They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster...

    "No, said another, "he's just for good luck."

    A third child brought the argument to a close when she firmly stated:.

    "They use the dogs to find the FIRE HYDRANTS!"

  2. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    The best medicine. TX Anne C