OT...for FUN.... How To Be ANNOYING . . . ;)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Nov 8, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    How to be annoying


    1. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others
    that you "like it that way."


    2. Drum on every available surface.


    3. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.


    4. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

    5. Ask 800 operators for dates.


    6. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.


    7. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.


    8. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.


    9. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."


    10. Set alarms for random times.

    11. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.


    12. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.


    13. Honk and wave to strangers.


    14. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.


    15. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.


    16. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.


    17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.


    18. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.


    19. only type in lowercase.


    20. dont use any punctuation either.


    21. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.


    22. Pay for your dinner with pennies.


    23. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.


    24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
    "Do you hear that?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."


    25. Light road flares on a birthday cake.


    26. Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.


    27. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.


    28. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.


    29. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.


    30. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

    31. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.


    32. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.


    33. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.


    34. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.


    35. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up!" and repeat.


    36. Drive half a block.


    37. Name your dog "Dog."


    38. Ask people what gender they are.


    39. Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think."


    40. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.


    41. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".


    42. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".


    44. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz
    Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.


    45. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.


    46. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.


    48. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.


    49. Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.


    50. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.


    51. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.


    52. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.


    53. Wear a LOT of cologne.


    54. Ask to "interface" with someone.


    55. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."


    56. Sing along at the opera.


    57. Mow your lawn with scissors.


    58. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"


    59. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."


    60. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.


    61. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."


    62. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."


    63. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.


    64. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.


    65. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.


    66. Never make eye contact.


    67. Never break eye contact.


    68. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.


    69. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.


    70. Construct your own pretend "tricorder" and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.


    71. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.


    72. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.


    73. Make appointments for the 31st of September.


    74. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.


    75. Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know; or, post 50 copies of this on the messageboard....



    [This Message was Edited on 11/09/2006]
  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    have you been practicing?

    How 'bout this:

    Laugh loudly at inappropriate times in a movie, ie, a sad scene or a sex scene....

    (I've often been tempted just to break the 'tension'...)

  3. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    I've done number 57 (cutting the grass with scissors) and number 64 (waiting to give people static electricity shocks) as a child. I've known the person who was number 49 (first in the phone book - the name was Aab).

    I think that the most annoying thing I used to do, from my brothers' point of view, was to make up songs about them describing what they were doing at the moment. ;) But now that they're older, they like the attention.

    For annoying habbits: I knew a little kid who was very picky about food and who wouldn't eat fish. The first night she was over at our house, we had breaded chicken for dinner. The second night, dad baked battered cod. I told him that the girl wouldn't touch it, but dad told me not to let on. That night, she smiled up from her dinner and said, "This chicken is even better than the chicken we had last night!" lol

    Prickes, I liked the dentist costume one. :)

    For being a wet blanket, a relative of mine used to give me the best blueberries when I'd come to visit. Then she'd say, while I was eating, "Blueberries have a lot of iron in them. Good for THAT TIME OF MONTH." More than a little embarrassing!

    Dad's mother used to remind Dad too many times to "drive carefully." Finally I called back, as we were pulling out of the driveway for our four hour drive, "Don't worry Oma, I'll take care of it. I'll be tickling him the whole way!" Then Dad would chime in with, "I'm not wearing any underwear, Mom!" It got to be tradition that that's what we would say whenever we left her place after a visit. :)

    ((annoying laughs)) Shannon

    [This Message was Edited on 11/08/2006]
  4. foggyfroggy

    foggyfroggy Guest

    Lol, thanks for the laughs.

    Victoria, I worked in a grocery store for awhile many years ago and there was a lady who would ALWAYS bring in massive quantities of change to pay for her purchases. I always wondered where she got it. Oooooooooo we hated seeing her coming!!!

    Prickles, everyone thinks I'm a little nuts anyway!

    Gretchen
  5. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Here's a few more for the list:

    - Answer the phone with, "You have my attention." Honestly, it really throws people off. I saw it on the Discovery Channel and gave it a try. Works nearly every time. People pause and say, "Hello?" in a bewildered tone that's really funny. :)

    - If a wrong number calls, pretend to be the person or business they are trying to reach. (I got a call once from a nice old lady thinking I was one of her friends. She kept telling me to turn the TV to channel 3 because there was some sort of swimming thing on. I didn't try to pretend I was who she was trying to call, but she was in such a rush that I couldn't explain it was a wrong number!)

    - Narrate other people's lives. Especially include what they are thinking about and what they are going to say.
  6. victoria

    victoria New Member

    #101: misspell everyone's name, like I just did yours?

    I LOVE the picture on your profile and your comment below it!!!... yes, we need to make the 'rumpled-up' look haute couture!

    And Gretchen.... I have been guilty of doing that, altho not for a LOT of dollars worth of merchandise...
    LOL,
    Victoria

    PS Shannon -Bet your brothers loved every minute!


    [This Message was Edited on 11/08/2006]
  7. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    I've done the pennies one too. :) I was 14 and trying to buy five cent candies. The 7-11 clerk just glared at me. He finally took my word for it that I had a dollar in pennies so he wouldn't have to count them.

  8. victoria

    victoria New Member

    you're right, I totally agree & I've removed it.

    I plead brain fog, I didn't even notice it cuz there are so many...

    all the best,
    Victoria
  9. s--raquel

    s--raquel New Member

    Willow, hey...funny you should mention #47...My daughter and I were just talking about this...How it's still o.k. for society to crack jokes at being overweight...We got several doses of it last night in an other wise good movie.

    I have always been aware of these as being insensitive b/c I have always been overweight...

    But I am much more adamant about it now because my beautiful 14 year old daughter thinks shes fat!!! She has
    done harm to herself trying to become thinner...

    While society seems to realize all these girls with eating
    and self image issues exist...they don't seem to care enough to quit with the ugly,cruel,jokes...

    Laughter not always the best medicine...but then again,
    who's laughing?!?!
  10. s--raquel

    s--raquel New Member

    Victoria...I was venting towards society...not you...I understand the brain fog!!!!!!!

    I often sign things before reading them...get too distracted to finish reading or wouldn't remember it all
    even if I did finish reading it!!

    I'm extra sensitive about weight issues right now...my
    daughter and all....
    anyway, thanks for removing it...
    stacey

  11. kat2002

    kat2002 New Member

    I am overweight, but I thought #47 was funny. I do that to myself sometimes too...

    Kat